Recent coverage on several major news networks, including this CNN HeadLine News video, has brought a whole new meaning to hands-free sex! Check out the amazing Barbara Carrellas, in conversation with Joy Behar talking about “Thinking Off” – her own moniker for hands free “energy” orgasms… a whole new kind of sex for those uninitiated in the ways of tantra.
In a recent episode of TLC’s Strange Sex, Barbara showed the world why just about anyone can find a reason to fit meditative sexuality into their daily routine – to help with stress, anxiety, energy or just give a boost of sexual confidence and independence. Because “Thinking Off” describes a physical orgasm without external stimulation, it is especially useful for people with physical disabilities resulting in little to no genital sensation, or extreme difficulty in applying manual stimulation, along with anyone who struggles to experience orgasms partnered or through masturbation.
In addition to applications for the physically disabled or those struggling to experience their first climax, energy orgasms can be incredibly healing and helpful for sexual phobics and others who need to work through intimacy anxiety. The process of sexual meditative trance is designed to slow down the erotic experience, allowing you to first feel the body begin to power up towards orgasm, gaining strength as it increases in intensity, and then simply allowing the sensations to wash over you, your expressions of pleasure flowing freely and going on as long as your body needs.
Energy?
Erotic energy is difficult to measure and even more difficult to explain. Scientists don’t know much about the female orgasm and how it functions in the body and the brain. You may not know it when you see it, but many women are capable of hands-free orgasms. Some women experience climax from nipple stimulation or other kinds of non-genital touch alone, and some may even have had an orgasm simply from a very sexy story! Most of our understanding of these orgasms comes from Carrellas and her willingness to submit herself to MRI orgasm testing. What scientists have found is that the female body is capable of contracting and relaxing the pelvic muscles in such a way that the internal (and sometimes even external) clitoral tissue is squeezed and released. In other words, the clitoris is stimulated from the inside out, without the need for anyone else to be any the wiser!
If your lover has never had a hands-free orgasm before, don’t pressure her to experience something new just for you. Take the time to relax together and enjoy the feelings of erotic energy that you can pass between you. Breathe together, and touch each other slowly and purposefully. You may want to use specific words and phrases as you move through the phases of energy orgasm. This kind of repetitive wordplay can make it easier to experience this same kind of orgasm in the future, using the words as cues to the body. Breathe deeply together and relax into sensation. Let sensation become all there is, without stressful thoughts or worries, negative or overwhelming emotions. Allow only love and joy to rest in your hearts as you come together.
Now What?
You will find that energy orgasms happen when you don’t think about then too much or try too hard. The purpose of sexual energy exploration is to relax the body and the mind, allowing the energy to slide over your skin, through your flesh and move you to new depths of feeling, new heights of ecstasy and new breadths of experience.
The best way to experience an energy orgasm may actually be to… fake it! That’s right. I don’t advocate faking orgasm with your partner, especially when the reasons are to hide your own lack of pleasure, or make your partner feel better, or relieve some kind of pressure you feel to perform.
Instead, go into sex encouraging your wife to playact an orgasm. As she is going through the motions – moaning, squirming, arching her back, clenching her muscles, especially her pelvic floor muscles – continue to stimulate her in a way she finds enjoyable, without genital contact. Touch her breasts, kiss her neck, pinch her nipples, caress her thighs and belly… do whatever she loves the most. You may just find that “just pretend” becomes very real, sooner rather than later!
The meditative technique for this kind of trance work is not complicated and anyone willing to lower their boundaries and let go of themselves and their preconceptions about sex can learn. Remember, as with all the sexual skills, practice makes perfect.
