“There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.”
We’ve all heard rumors about tantric sex. The 40 hour lovemaking sessions, the mind-altering massages and the explosive orgasm meditation techniques but can us normal (but still naughty) people really get anything from tantric sex? Well if you’re daydreaming of better, longer, more intimate, more satisfying sex, more often – then using a few well-placed tantric sex techniques can get you a hell of a lot.
For all of you who haven’t seen American Pie or read about Sting’s more intimate lifestyle, tantric sex is the ancient erotic art of prolonging sexual ecstasy to reach new levels of sensual satisfaction and intimacy. Just think of it as a marathon of erotic experiences, not an in-and-out sprint. Now here’s the weird part, the focus isn’t even on you orgasming. Tantra shifts the focus to tapping into all of your sexual senses to make it more likely for you to naturally come to an ecstasy induced end – pun intended.
But all that meditating and abstaining for hours on end might seem like a bit too much dedication for most couples so I thought I’d make things a little easier. Here are a few tips to introduce you to a whole world of frisky fun.
1. Eye contact
It might sound pretty obvious but looking at your partner can actually help make your sexual experiences together a lot more intense. One of the quickest ways to deepen intimacy is to look into each other’s eyes. Find a comfortable place to sit and start with your eyes closed so that you can get yourself centered. As each of you feels ready, open your eyes and gaze into each other’s eyes. Allow her to really see you as you in turn witness the whole of her. You might feel a bit stupid at first but stick with it. This simple technique will have a big pay off and you can incorporate it whenever it feels most natural to you. It will help you to fall in love over and over again, and make sex a much hotter, richer experience.
2. Conscious touch
The whole point of Tantra is to explore you and your partner’s sensuality with teasing and tension – what’s more sensual than touching each other? The thing that Tantra focuses on is making each touch count. If you’re busy thinking about work or what you’re going to eat later, then your touch will feel vacant and that doesn’t feel good to anyone. The trick is to forget everything and really focus on what it is you want from being with your partner. Be aware of where you’re touching her and more importantly what your intention is.
3. Explore your senses
Tantra isn’t just used to improve the physicality of sex, it’s about the emotional and sensory experiences too – this means taste, touch, sight, smell and sound. It has long been known that when we lose one of our senses, the others are heightened, so by taking advantage of this idea you and your partner can experience sex on a whole other level. Create a relaxing, intimate and sensual experience by blindfolding her and offering her a variety of things to stimulate her senses. Try essential oils, cinnamon or vanilla for smell. Play bits of music she loves or read her a love poem for sound. For taste you could feed her juicy berries, bits of chocolate or let her lick honey off your finger. For touch, try caressing her body with bits of silk, feathers or a rose petal. Then remove her blindfold and let her see you looking at her with love and desire! It might sound like a lengthy process but the result will be well worth waiting for.
4. Full body orgasm
One way to start learning to have full body orgasms is to practice building up erotic energy near to orgasm, and then letting it fade a bit. Build it up again and use your breath and the power of intention to spread the energy through your body. Play with this for as long as you like. This means taking your partner to the point of orgasm orally or otherwise but never letting them go completely over the edge. When you finally orgasm, you should feel ripples of it in different parts of your body.
5. Enjoy the journey
Tantra is not just about orgasms, in fact the whole process requires you to delay if not completely abandon your orgasm to achieve a higher level of sexual awareness first. The fun can be sucked out of getting frisky by putting too much pressure on an end result and not focusing enough on enjoying getting there. Tantra can put the fun right back in there. If you are continually only chasing after an orgasm chances are that you and your partner are bored and stuck doing the same old thing that you know works. Quit chasing the orgasm and see what else you enjoy about sex. Remind yourself about why you enjoy sex and what you’re hoping to get out of it.
Have a sexy week,
P.S. Focus on and expand other areas that you and your partner love, explore them and the rest will come naturally.