Let’s face it. Most of us are not body builders, and the ones who are would be lucky to also be married to someone as strong and supple as they! Often when couples find themselves in the same old sexual routine, it isn’t so much that they are bored with each other or disinterested in trying something new, but that they have let their workaday lives and bad advice from fitness gurus get in the way of keeping their bodies lean, strong, and always ready for action.

If you have ever thought about enjoying a new position, but were scared to try for fear of hurting yourself; if you have ever had to stop sex without an orgasm, or shift positions to accommodate muscle cramps; if your stamina isn’t where you want it to be, or if your wife wants to lose weight or firm up some muscles before she’ll feel completely comfortable being on top… and have the strength to really enjoy it… read on!

The Skinny and Fat of It

No matter what, the amount of fat on your body will always be determined by what you eat. You can tweak by building muscle, or doing cardio exercise, but ultimately it is quality food that makes a quality body. Stop drinking your calories. Eat plenty of healthy, organic protein like pastured animal products and sprouted seeds and legumes. Get plenty of good dietary fat from natural sources like butter, olives, avocado, and coconut. Eat lots of green vegetables and some starchy ones too. Try to get as many colors as possible! Avoid grains as much as you can, especially if you find yourself sensitive to their inflammatory properties. Stay away from added sugars and processed foods. Be mindful of what you eat and grateful for your sustenance.

If you find yourself faltering, just pick back up and get into the habit of making healthy choices again. Think about all the ways that excess fat gets in the way of having a fully satisfying sex life, whether the problems you have are self esteem, or if it just makes it harder to have the kind of sex romp you truly desire. Don’t pressure your partner to go along with your changes, but do give support where support is wanted and show yourself off as an example of hard work and dedication.

The Strong Man

When it comes to actually gaining strength and flexibility, you’ll have to do some work. Don’t get into chronic cardio and overdo it. Skip the run and hit the weights. When your wife feels like getting a six pack of her own, she can lift heavy too! Don’t let her fall into the trap of fearing “bulk” – muscles don’t happen overnight. Remind her how much more fun she’ll have if her legs aren’t giving out when she’s riding you.

The Push

Push exercises work the traps (upper back between the neck and shoulders), the deltoids (shoulder), the triceps (in the back of the upper arms), the pectorals (chest) and the core muscles, which include the entire abdomen and lower back. You use these muscles when you are on top, propping yourself up on your arms. Push-ups are the most common exercise in this category, but there are dozens.

The Pull

This group of movements works the flexor and extensor muscles of the forearms, as well as the biceps (upper arms) and the lats (back). Chin-ups and pull-ups are common, along with curls. Modifications can easily be made to suit those who can’t quite do a full bodyweight pull-up straight out of the gate. You use these muscles in the bedroom anytime you are helping to support her weight, whether she is on top, or you’re holding her hips up off the bed, or going at it standing up!

Below the Belt

Lower body workouts are designed to work the glutes (butt and hips), quads (front of the thighs), hamstrings (rear thighs) and calves. It is especially important when doing squats and other similar exercises to be mindful of your form. In all strength exercise, form is of the utmost importance to avoid injury and maximize performance. Any kneeling, squatting, or standing positions are going to involve using these muscles both to support yourself and to thrust.

The Stretch

Stretching does not take a long time, so don’t skip it. Try doing some yoga in the morning and before bed, like the Sun and Moon Salutations. Don’t forget to warm up your body with a bit of low intensity cardio and some spot-specific stretches before any kind of workout. Most importantly, don’t overdo it. If you want to actually enjoy your strength gains in the bedroom, you’re going to need a day or two off!