Posts Tagged ‘manual stimulation’

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Public Cervix Notice: The Low-Down on Going Deep

If you are particularly well endowed, or your lover has an especially shallow vaginal canal, you may already have experience with the variety of sensations that the cervix is capable of producing.

The cervix is the small sphincter-like opening at the deep end of the vaginal canal, acting both as a barrier and passageway to the uterus. At different stages of your wife’s menstrual cycle, her cervix can be hard and painful to touch, or soft and quite receptive. Some women may never enjoy the sensation of cervical stimulation, but for others it can be an instant orgasm hot-button! Wouldn’t you like to find out which?

Keep in mind that penetrating the cervix would not only be incredibly painful, but also incredibly dangerous. The tiny opening found there is designed to let semen in and blood out, and that’s about it. Any kind of bacteria or other material forced through the opening can cause great damage – in fact, this is why health professionals discourage any kind of penetrative “thrusting” sex in the pool or the bath, because chlorinated water can be awfully painful and damaging to the interior of the uterus. Women who have previously given birth are likely to have a slightly larger cervical opening, so even greater care is needed.

In any kind of cervical play, take it slow and play safe!

The cervix has three main properties which change throughout the cycle – size, texture, and wetness. The condition of the cervix not only predicts ovulation and other important aspects of her monthly cycle, but can tell you whether or not she will enjoy deep penetration which might come into contact with the tiny opening.

Hard Knocks and Closed Doors

At the beginning and very end of her menstrual cycle, the cervix will be mostly closed (opening only slightly during menstruation to allow for her flow). The texture of the cervix will be hard and in the absence of menstrual fluid, dry. In the first 10-14 days after the onset of menstruation, and the last 7-10 of an average 28 day cycle, it is likely that contact with the cervix will result in painful sex.

If you find that you are hitting her cervix every time you engage in intercourse, be sure you are engaging in enough foreplay. As a woman gets aroused, even in the early stages of her cycle, the vaginal canal will deepen and give you more room for thrusting. If she is still shallower than you need, putting her in a position on top will allow her more depth control.

Women who are taking hormonal birth control are likely to find themselves in a semi-permanent state of cervical rigidity, meaning that it is unlikely she will be able to experience pleasure from cervix stimulation. If this is the case, and your size is causing her pain because of it, you may want to consider alternative forms of contraception that don’t have the same hormonal effects, like Fertility Awareness or an intra-uterine device. These options are particularly helpful if low libido is also an issue, since her natural ovulatory cycle encourages an increase in stimulating sex hormones.

Soften Up and Open Sesame!

When you make it to her sweet spot, a few days to a week between her 10th and 20th day, you will notice the cervix begin to soften. The small opening begins to widen slightly. Cervical mucus is produced by the body, making the vagina and uterus a habitable pH level receptive to sperm. This process not only prepares her body for conception, but can also make it not just less painful but incredibly erotic to enjoy light cervical stimulation.

Try going in with your fingers. Pushing her legs up and back toward her head will help to shorter her vaginal canal, so you can reach. Be very gentle. You may find that while direct stimulation of the cervical opening still feels strange or even painful, there is likely to be a spot to the side of the cervix which can produce almost immediate orgasm. This isn’t the case for all women, but it is worth the search!

Slowly circle the edge of the cervical opening, moving outwards towards the vaginal walls. The cervix is likely to move to one side, and in the area left exposed you will find an incredibly sensitive spot just waiting for your careful, gentle stimulation. Don’t thrust or push, but use very small strokes. Couple this stimulation with oral or other clitoral touch and you can have her shooting through the roof… and in the very best way possible!

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The G-Spot Controversy: Why the Debate?

German gynaecologist Ernst Gräfenberg first identified the g-spot some sixty years ago, and ever since the sexual health world has been on fire with the debate over its existence. If you have ever been on the wet end of female ejaculation, you won’t have any confusion about its existence! So why can’t scientists decide?

It seems to have a lot to do with the method of study, according to researchers who completed a recent study of 1800 British twins at the King’s College in London, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Clinical psychologist Andrea Burri, lead study author, thinks the problem is in how we ask the question. In her study, the scientists opted not to perform physical exams on the women, but rather asked them a subjective question: whether or not they identified having a “so called G-spot, a small area the size of a 20p [5 cent] coin on the front wall of your vagina that is sensitive to deep pressure?”

Only 56% of women answered in the positive, and there didn’t seem to be any genetic correlation. But how many women have been with a man who has made a priority of finding her g-spot?

Scientists in the study did find that women who identified experiencing g-spot sensation tended to be more adventurous and open to new experiences. Do these women take the time to explore themselves when their men don’t? Or perhaps they are more likely to encourage a lover to move in a new way?

Studies in recent years have shown that women with thicker vaginal tissue between the vagina and the urethra, where the g-spot is thought to lie. A new study under review shows greater promise, using ultrasound to image the reproductive tissues during intercourse, has identified the area they believe to be the g-spot.

This area, known as the Skene’s gland (or the lesser vestibular glands, periurethral glands, skene glands, paraurethral glands, and female prostate) is named after the gynecologist who first identified it, Dr. Alexander Skene. The glands are inside the body, between the urethra and the vagina, surrounded by clitoral tissue. It is capable of producing fluid, similar to that produced by the prostate, though often contains (harmless) trace amounts of urine. Most women who experience g-spot orgasms also ejaculate, though as science has shown, not all women enjoy this kind of stimulation.

Will She Like It?

It is possible that your lover simply may not enjoy g-spot stimulation at all. Just as some men aren’t fond of internal prostate stimulation, some women will not experience pleasure from direct g-spot touch. So if she hasn’t responded well so far, should you just give up?

Of course not! There are a few things you can try together, to see if her disinterest is an issue of biology or psychology.

Relax and Enjoy

The best place to start a g-spot journey is in the water. Be careful when enjoying any kind of sexy time in a pool, hot tub, or even the bath or shower. Fingering with any kind of force, or engaging in intercourse under water, can force the liquid through the cervix and into the uterus. All the chlorine, fluoride and other chemicals can wreak havoc on your lady’s lady parts, so be careful!

The easiest way to approach the g-spot in these situations is with no thrusting at all. Simply insert two fingers gently into the vagina, using your erotic touch skills to locate the change in texture or density that identifies her g-spot. If you have trouble finding it, improvise for now. Just a few inches inside her canal, on the upper wall of her vagina angling toward her belly, you should encounter a bit of a swell, or a rough patch, or maybe just a spot that gets a reaction!

Instead of thrusting in and out, simply crook your fingers in towards your palm, putting pressure there. For many women who struggle to let go and release the liquid pleasure inside, being in water for this incredible experience can help ease some of the pressure and fear of making a mess.

If She Doesn’t Feel It?

Don’t give up. If she’s not interested, don’t push the issue, but time does change all things! Some day in the future, an inexpensive g-spot sex toy might inspire you to try again. Just remember, just because a woman doesn’t necessarily enjoy having her g-spot rubbed, doesn’t mean that female ejaculation is a nonexistent or mythical phenomenon. Join the g-spot truth movement! Spread the word.

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Itchy

Basic Toys for Boys: Beginner Anal Sex Toys for Men

Take a deep breath and smile for me honey, there is no need to stress. Take my advice and your back door exploration will go off without a hitch!

(more…)

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G-Spot Fingering

Finger play that hits the spot

I know so many couples who don’t bother with digital sex—no, I don’t mean dirty movies, but bringing her to a climax with your hands. I think that when we graduate to “fancy” sex, the idea of finger play no longer seems as exciting.

That myth couldn’t be more false! Even the most experienced partners can find erotic satisfaction in letting their fingers do the walking, especially when those fingers are walking on her most sensitive area, the G-Spot. Here’s how to do it.

  1. Don’t head directly for her vagina. Instead, spend time kissing and caressing her face, neck, breasts and belly. Arouse her different erogenous zones. Bring her to a heightened state of sexuality before you even begin with manual stimulation.
  2. Once she’s hot to trot, so to speak, lay her back on the bed, and make sure she’s comfortable. Adjust the pillows to support her hips and neck so you can make sure that she’s totally relaxed and ready to abandon herself to pleasure.
  3. Sit next to her on the bed near her hips, facing her side. This position will place you at the perfect angle for reaching her G-Spot.
  4. Start by gently touching the area around her vulva, including her belly, hips, thighs and the sensitive area just above her pubic hairline. When starts to squirm and sigh, you know she’s ready for more.
  5. Using the techniques I outline below, “New Ways to Titillate Her Clit,” begin to stimulate her clitoris. Use a few different ideas, and mix them up a little. After a few minutes, she should be fully aroused and very wet. Now she’s ready for G-Spot stimulation.
  6. Keeping one hand free to caress her clitoris, use the other hand to stimulate her G-Spot. First slip one finger inside her and find her G-Spot. If it’s engorged and sensitive, insert a second finger and apply gentle pressure. If not, spend a little more time on foreplay.
  7. Watch her face and body as you touch her. Ask her to give you feedback on the pressure you’re applying to her G-Spot, and adjust your touch accordingly.
  8. When you’ve found the perfect amount of intensity, work on your rhythm. Try to coordinate the motions of both hands, so that your clitoral manipulations match the pace of your manual G-Spot stimulation.
  9. As she nears the crisis point, continue to press upward into her G-Spot, and stimulate her clitoris with your other hand. She may prefer a consistent finger technique at this point, something without variation. Many women report that they have stronger, better orgasms if their lovers stick with the same stroke when she’s nearing the height of pleasure.

To add a hotter dimension to your finger play, get involved in the action. As you touch her, she can touch you—or you can touch yourself!

New Ways to Titillate Her Clit

When your partner masturbates with her fingers, she probably knows exactly what she needs to get off. She might even do the same moves every time because they work so well for her.

When you’re the one doing the finger-play, however, you won’t be able to replicate her exact movements—unless you’re lucky and maybe a little psychic! You’ll need to find a few new movements unique to the way you are pleasing her with your fingers.

Consider these new techniques for clitoral play:

  • The Roll: Place your thumb and forefinger on either side of her clitoris and roll it very gently and slowly. As she begins to respond, you can roll more quickly and intensely.
  • The Reversing Circle: The most common way to caress her clit is by tracing circles on it with a finger or two. In my move, you’ll incorporate the element of surprise. As you’re circling, change directions back and forth. Don’t use a particular rhythm; be unpredictable.
  • Tracing: Some women don’t like too much direct pressure on their clits. If your lover is like this, use one finger to trace the perimeter of her clitoris. Vary the pressure and intensity according to her body’s response.
  • The ABCs: One of my favorite tricks is to trace the alphabet on my clitoris. This technique will feel incredible because the stimulation will vary so much. Trace the letters of the alphabet forward and backward—write whole words, if you’d like (how about “I love you”?).
  • Tapping: This technique is just what it sounds like: You’ll tap her clitoris with a finger. I don’t mean you should bang out a drumbeat on it—be gentle! Start with light slow taps, increasing the intensity and speed of your movements as she begins to respond.

Now that you know five new ways to touch her clitoris, mix them up a little the next time you make love. Try starting with tapping, and then move onto the roll, tracing and the ABCs. Finish up with the reversing circle, matching your moves to the rhythm of her body.

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Thinking Outside the Box: A Husband’s Guide to Exterior Genital Touch

He who feels it, knows it more.
-   Bob Marley

When first approaching a woman’s most sensitive spots, there is really one universal factor that determines your range of motion to please her – lubrication. From bone dry to soaking wet, a woman’s wetness is your cue for the kind of move you make. If your wife is the type to lubricate easily and copiously, you may want to keep a towel handy to be able to try some of the tricks that work best on drier skin. If your lady doesn’t lubricate well on her own, invest in a bottle or three of quality, water-based natural lubricant so you can explore the realms of the super slick!

Sunny Skies

Whether your wife is in the stage of her monthly cycle when desire and arousal are less forthcoming, or if she just has the type of libido that takes more warming up, there are a few great beginner moves that will not only get you used to touching her, but help build a foundation of desire and stimulation to arouse.

The first step in warming up her outside is a gentle pull on the outer lips. Grasp them between your thumb and forefinger, careful not to catch her fine inner lips, and stretch them first down and out toward her feet, then up and out slightly toward her breast. Follow up with a few soft tugs – start with the hair on her mons, if she isn’t too closely trimmed, running your fingers through and straightening the curly fibers between your knuckles. Finish up the warm up by pulling her outer labia back to expose her inner labia and clitoris, a great move to segue into oral sex and lubrication.

Chance of Showers

When you’re not sure what the weather is going to be like and you want to be prepared for just about anything, there is a whole range of moves you can use to stimulate her nether regions just right.

Start out with gentle moves that cup or gently massage the entire vulva. From this position you can hold her sex tight, rub it gently, or even vibrate her like a real-live sex toy by shaking your hand with a bit of a tremor as you hold her vulva in your palm. Rubbing her outer labia and gently seperating her inner labia will provide her with some new sensations before you take the dive and begin by stimulating her clit and U-Spot. Don’t get carried away or apply pressure or touch that is too direct, especially if she is not yet very wet. Tap lightly, or lick with the tip of your tongue to provide some sensation with over-stimulation.

Rainy Days

The reason that lube is so important to sex is because of these great moves – there are certain kinds of stimulation that just don’t feel good without wetness, so if your partner isn’t lubricating on her own, you should add a few drops of something slick and slippery before trying these out.

Use your fingers to slide around a bit on the slick surface of her vulva. Try rolling her outer lips between thumb and forefinger in a gentle massage before using the tips of your fingers to circle and stroke her clitoris and her U-Spot. Don’t penetrate her yet! I still have a whole collection of tips for extra-lubricated ladies who enjoy a lot of stimulation.

Flash Flood

When she is overflowing with her own juices, or you have a good supply of long-lasting lubrication, it’s time to try out a few of these extraordinary examples of techniques for taking the next step, bridging the gap between exterior and interior genital contact.

The first step now to discover her most sensitive spots is to ensure her clit is erect and engorged, so start with a sliding move that uses the pressure of your fingers to stimulate her in long, smooth strokes from your fingertip to the knuckle at your palm. When she is ready for a bit more stimulation, use your fingertip to make tiny circles in-place as your explore the are around the edge of her clitoris, finding the spots on her hot-button that are especially inflamed!

When you know just how much clitoral stimulation she enjoys, you can attempt the next big thing in manual stimulation for women – jilling off! Just like jacking off, “jilling” involves stroking the sensitive parts using the “foreskin” protection that covers it. Grasping the clit gently between your thumb and forefinger tips, or knuckles, you can make tiny stroking or turning motions that stimulate not just the visible head of the clit, but the deep root in her pelvis.

Try to bring her to orgasm without penetrating her at all, then get ready to move on and explore her deeper places.

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