The fact of the matter is that not all women are able to ejaculate, and even some that can ejaculate may not actually find the experience all that enjoyable.  Of course, many women do enjoy g-spot stimulation and for those who still have yet to experience female ejaculation, there can be a tendency to get frustrated and start placing blame with negative self-talk.

It is in our modern nature to be “fixers” and to see life’s challenges and possibilities as obstacles to leap over or issues to work through, preferably as quickly as possible. But maybe the “problem” all comes down to thinking about her body as a problem!

Negative self-talk takes many forms and gets directed at all aspects of our lives. When things don’t go exactly the way we have imagined them in our often confused and cluttered brains, we tell ourselves that “something is wrong” or “there is a problem” and we set out to find a way to “fix” things, all the while getting more and more upset as time passes and we don’t find the answer.

Consider this – maybe there is no answer.

The Mind

I’m not saying that there aren’t techniques to explore and experiences to enjoy that might make ejaculation easier… but what if I told you that the easiest and most important step to enjoying an elusive experience is to let go? Stop clinging to the outcome and enjoy the journey!

When we think about our sexual experiences as trophies we must fight for and problems we have to fix, we put our focus squarely on the desired outcome and forget to enjoy everything else on the way. We forget about the most important aspect of our sexual experiences… love.

There could be many things keeping your lover in a non-ejaculatory holding pattern, but the one I see the most in couples new to sexual exploration is a overwhelming need to please. If your wife is trying to ejaculate, either to please you or to “achieve” some kind of sexual goal, she loses her ability to stay present in the moments of pleasure that can lead up to a g-spot orgasm.

Of course there are the obvious mental blocks that many women have left over from their coming-of-age years: sexual shame, ideas about what is “proper” for a “lady” during sex, concerns about cleanliness associated with ideas about sex being “dirty”. Each of these mental blockages can be relieved only through presence of mind and exploration of the body. Placing more blame by identifying lack of female ejaculatory experience as a “problem” only serves to make these mental blocks more difficult to put in the past where they belong.

The Body

As I mentioned, not every female body is inherently capable of experiencing ejaculation. Scientists have discovered that the thicker the clitoral root where it lies between the “female prostate” (medically referred to as the Skene’s gland) and the vagina, the more likely a woman is to enjoy g-spot stimulation and experience ejaculatory orgasms.

Whether caused by genetics, nerve damage from a hysterectomy or a c-section, or simply atrophy from lack of use, building up this pleasurable nerve tissue does not happen over night! Doing kegels for a week is not going to show any significant signs of improvement. It could take years of practice to encourage the body to build up thicker clitoral tissue, increase sensitivity and experience an ejaculatory female orgasm. If you spend the entire time focusing solely on ejaculation as “the goal,” then you will likely get discouraged and give up sooner rather than later.

The Soul

The spirit of sex is pleasure. If your sexual exploration is stressful, you lose sight of the true purpose behind this journey you have committed to take together – the sweet, sensual pleasures that come from enjoying your bodies as they are right now, not as you hope them to be in a week, or a month, or a year.

Be conscious of your bodies. Live in them wholly and fully. Breathe deeply. Eat healthy. Love freely with the boundless energy of two souls united as one. Enjoy every moment you spend together in sensual delights as if it is your first, as if it could be your last. Give praise and celebrate bliss, and all your deepest desires will come true, once you forget about the destination and simply enjoy the ride.

It seems to have a lot to do with the method of study, according to researchers who completed a recent study of 1800 British twins at the King’s College in London, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Clinical psychologist Andrea Burri, lead study author, thinks the problem is in how we ask the question. In her study, the scientists opted not to perform physical exams on the women, but rather asked them a subjective question: whether or not they identified having a “so called G-spot, a small area the size of a 20p [5 cent] coin on the front wall of your vagina that is sensitive to deep pressure?”

Only 56% of women answered in the positive, and there didn’t seem to be any genetic correlation. But how many women have been with a man who has made a priority of finding her g-spot?

Scientists in the study did find that women who identified experiencing g-spot sensation tended to be more adventurous and open to new experiences. Do these women take the time to explore themselves when their men don’t? Or perhaps they are more likely to encourage a lover to move in a new way?

Studies in recent years have shown that women with thicker vaginal tissue between the vagina and the urethra, where the g-spot is thought to lie. A new study under review shows greater promise, using ultrasound to image the reproductive tissues during intercourse, has identified the area they believe to be the g-spot.

This area, known as the Skene’s gland (or the lesser vestibular glands, periurethral glands, skene glands, paraurethral glands, and female prostate) is named after the gynecologist who first identified it, Dr. Alexander Skene. The glands are inside the body, between the urethra and the vagina, surrounded by clitoral tissue. It is capable of producing fluid, similar to that produced by the prostate, though often contains (harmless) trace amounts of urine. Most women who experience g-spot orgasms also ejaculate, though as science has shown, not all women enjoy this kind of stimulation.

Will She Like It?

It is possible that your lover simply may not enjoy g-spot stimulation at all. Just as some men aren’t fond of internal prostate stimulation, some women will not experience pleasure from direct g-spot touch. So if she hasn’t responded well so far, should you just give up?

Of course not! There are a few things you can try together, to see if her disinterest is an issue of biology or psychology.

Relax and Enjoy

The best place to start a g-spot journey is in the water. Be careful when enjoying any kind of sexy time in a pool, hot tub, or even the bath or shower. Fingering with any kind of force, or engaging in intercourse under water, can force the liquid through the cervix and into the uterus. All the chlorine, fluoride and other chemicals can wreak havoc on your lady’s lady parts, so be careful!

The easiest way to approach the g-spot in these situations is with no thrusting at all. Simply insert two fingers gently into the vagina, using your erotic touch skills to locate the change in texture or density that identifies her g-spot. If you have trouble finding it, improvise for now. Just a few inches inside her canal, on the upper wall of her vagina angling toward her belly, you should encounter a bit of a swell, or a rough patch, or maybe just a spot that gets a reaction!

Instead of thrusting in and out, simply crook your fingers in towards your palm, putting pressure there. For many women who struggle to let go and release the liquid pleasure inside, being in water for this incredible experience can help ease some of the pressure and fear of making a mess.

If She Doesn’t Feel It?

Don’t give up. If she’s not interested, don’t push the issue, but time does change all things! Some day in the future, an inexpensive g-spot sex toy might inspire you to try again. Just remember, just because a woman doesn’t necessarily enjoy having her g-spot rubbed, doesn’t mean that female ejaculation is a nonexistent or mythical phenomenon. Join the g-spot truth movement! Spread the word.

Let’s get this out of the way first. This kind of play isn’t for everyone. Before we get in to the specifics, you should know that your wife may not even be curious about fisting, let alone excited to give it a go. Fisting is an incredibly challenging and rewarding experience for any couple that endeavors to try it out, but don’t put pressure on your lover if she simply isn’t into it.

Of course, just because she has some hesitations doesn’t mean you should just give up on the idea! Fisting is something you are going to have to work up to, no matter how excited everyone is about the whole thing. There are two very important aspects to any fisting experience – lube and time. Even with plenty of both, you’ll be starting out with a finger or two and working your way up. Why not see how two, three, or four fingers feel before you make a final decision?

Lube Job

Do you pay much attention to your lover’s monthly cycles? If not, this is certainly a great reason to start. The vaginal canal tends to deepen and the cervix softens as a woman nears ovulation, so you can use the ten to twenty days after menstruation to prepare her body and maximize her enjoyment.

Start with a natural oil massage. Use an organic coconut oil and after a relaxing full body rub down, have your wife lay back on the bed with her legs spread wide, bent at the knees. Massage her perineum, the area between her vaginal opening and anus, with gentle pressure. Relaxing this area isn’t just important for fisting, but it is also a wonderful exercise for expecting mothers to prepare the birthing canal. Perform this sexy little exercise nightly until you are comfortable going further, ideally for a week or two.

When it comes time for the main event, prepare yourself with a high quality silicone lube that won’t get sticky or absorb into the skin. If you want a bit of extra slickness, try putting on a smooth latex glove. Cover your fingers in lube as you insert them, one at a time. Start with only one or two fingers, allowing the lube on your digits to coat her canal.

Ensure that whatever lubricant you choose is safe, clean, long-lasting, and most importantly designed to be used with any kinds of safe sex accessories or toys you might bring along to the party. Spot test any new lubricant to be sure that neither of you have any reaction to the ingredients.

Stretch!

Be sure to get lots of feedback as you progress from two up to three fingers. If she is enjoying three, move up to four. Be very careful not to penetrate too deep as you progress. When it comes time to move beyond four fingers, you should reshape your hand accordingly, tucking your thumb into your palm. You may also want to bend your fingertips in to your palm as well, depending on her depth and cervical softness.

This is not an afternoon quickie, so don’t try this on a busy day when you are pressed for time. Set aside several hours to relax together and enjoy your time. If you have large hands, it is unlikely you’ll make it “all the way” on the first, second, or even third try. It just may not be in the cards for you. If on the other hand you have a narrow hand and/or short fingers, you might just be in luck!

Keep Her Coming

The easiest way by far to loosen the vaginal canal is the magic of orgasm! Your multi-orgasmic lover will find fisting easier after her first, second, or third orgasm – why not try one for each finger! If vaginal orgasms are difficult for your partner to achieve, be sure to give her lots of clitoral stimulation, along with a nice long warm up. Foreplay is of the utmost importance, so be sure to hit all her erogenous zones. Now you see why time is so important!

You’ll Know

When she does come, you will know, especially if you have penetrated all the way to the wrist. If you haven’t found her g-spot, be prepared! Being so full is bound to hit all her spots, especially if you twist your wrist lightly (instead of pumping in and out). When she starts to come, she may not want any further stimulation, and you’ll have your hands full just keeping your hand inside her! If there was every a reason to be in awe of female power, you’ll know if when you feel her muscles clamp down on your hand, and you wonder if you’ll ever get it back!

As more and more couples are learning, reverse cowgirl and its variations are the hottest ways to have sex. It’s always erotic to have your lady ride you, and these three positions will make her proud to wear her cowgirl hat.

Reverse Cowgirl

I love Reverse Cowgirl so much that I have to shout it: REVERSE COWGIRL IS AMAZING! I love the amount of control it gives me over my orgasm, and my husband loves the amount of pleasure I feel when I have an orgasm in this position.

Like the basic woman-on-top position, he can relax a little and let me do most of the work. It’s a win-win for us—perhaps it will be for you, too.

Here’s how reverse cowgirl works:

1. Lie on your back on the bed in a comfortable position.
2. Have your lover sit astride you, facing your feet, and lower herself onto your penis. Be careful with this step—you don’t want to bend your penis or cause yourself any discomfort.
3. She will then need to bend forward, so that her face is near your knees, to align her body with yours.
4. Now she can use the techniques she mastered in the basic woman-on-top position, grinding her body into yours.
5. As she presses her body downward, toward your feet, hold her hips and pull her into you, increasing the pressure on her G-Spot.
6. Reach around to caress her clitoris, if you can reach it. If not, encourage her to touch herself so she can experience the maximum amount of pleasure.

I can’t tell you how many of my girlfriends have become devotees of the reverse cowgirl position. Although a few of them had a slow start with it, they found that with a few tries, they experienced the same kind of explosive orgasms as I do.

Reverse Cowgirl Sitting Up

As the name implies, this position is a simple variation of basic reverse cowgirl. Use the exact techniques I described in reverse cowgirl, but instead of lying forward, have her sit back into you. She’ll experience the same benefits and rewards as in the original position, but she’ll have more options for moving her body, for example:

• Using her feet as support, she can gently bounce up and down.
• She can lean forward onto her knees and back into you while you pull her closer.
• She can grind into you, making small pelvic circles.
• She can use her hands and feet to support herself while you thrust upward into her.

See, the variations are endless! Whichever techniques you try, remember to stay focused on your goal: stimulating her G-Spot. In this position, you’ll both have lots of access to her clitoris, and you will have manual access to her G-Spot, as well. Try different combinations and see what works best for you.

Forward Cowgirl (aka “The Fusion”)

A favorite Kama Sutra position, the fusion is a combination of the woman-on-top and sitting-up reverse cowgirl positions, so even though forward cowgirl seems fancy, if you’ve mastered the other two techniques, you’ll find this one simple to perform.

To do forward cowgirl, Lie on your back on the bed. Have her sit astride you, facing your head, and lower herself onto you. Now that you’re in the proper position, you can mix it and find the right combination of stimulation. For example…

• She can lean back against your knees and support herself with her arms while you thrust your penis against her G-Spot and caress her clitoris.
• She can lean forward, placing her arms above your head, while she thrusts down against you. Manual stimulation won’t be as accessible, but this variation allows her to find and maintain firm, direct G-Spot pleasure.
• She can sit upright with her legs draped over your chest and shoulders. In this variation, she won’t be able to use her legs to move herself, so you’ll need to grab her hips and move your body against hers. She can use one of her free hands to enjoy clitoral stimulation.
• She can even ride sidesaddle! Once she’s in place atop you, have her move both legs to the same side of your body. Again, you’ll need to control the action and support her body, but there’s something very primal about grabbing your woman by the hips and thrusting into her from a lying-down position, especially when is an erotic position like any of the cowgirl techniques.

I strongly recommend trying forward cowgirl dozens and dozens of times, just so you can try out all the different permutations of hands touching sensitive body parts. I promise, this is a research project that you will love.

If you and your lover enjoy wild, adventurous sex, then my advanced G-Spot positions are going to blow your mind. They’re a little more physically demanding than most other G-Spo9t sex positions, but the orgasmic rewards are also greater.

The Flower Press Position

A tantric position, the flower press is sometimes referred to as “legs over shoulder.” It’s a complicated position, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll find it’s much easier than you thought. Here’s how to do the flower press position:

1. Have her lie on her back, and then enter her as you would for typical missionary sex.
2. Next she’ll raise her feet and put them over your shoulders.
3. Once her feet are in place, pull her upward and toward you until her knees are almost resting on your shoulders.
4. Bend down slightly until her buttocks are resting on the top of your thighs, supporting her body.
5. Begin thrusting as you normally would during my modified missionary G-Spot position, until you’ve aroused her G-Spot enough that it responds to your penis as it passes it. Tilt your pelvis upward so that you’re making the same scooping motion we covered in the modified rear-entry position. You’ll basically be driving the top and head of your penis directly into her G-Spot.
6. When she begins to respond, use firm, deep strokes to maintain the pressure on her G-Spot.
7. As she nears orgasm, use one hand to caress her clitoris, which should be easily accessible in this position.

The first time you try the flower press position, you may feel as if you’re trying to defy gravity. The trick is in finding the right way to support yourselves while you enjoy this position. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll find it’s easier than you imagined.

The Rotated Woman

Of all the G-Spot positions, I think the rotated woman looks the most bizarre on paper, and yet it’s also one of the most effective for experiencing powerful G-Spot orgasms. It might be a little difficult to get into position, but once you’re both in place, you’re going to love the ride. Here’s what to do:

1. Lie on your back on the bed.
2. Have her lower herself onto you as you would in the woman on top position.
3. Holding her hands, sit up with her so you are face-to-face. Spread your legs so that her bottom rests on the bed between them.
4. Put your hands behind you to support yourself as you lean back. Her arms should be behind her, also supporting herself.
5. From this position, you can thrust together, meeting in the middle.
6. As she’s nearing orgasm, change your thrusting into an upward scooping motion, so that your penis is hitting her G-Spot.

Because of the initial awkwardness of this position, it may be difficult to find enough traction to continue a smooth rhythm. Use each other’s arms and legs to help you thrust, especially when it’s time to apply that firm, constant pressure to her G-Spot.

The G-Force

If you thought the rotated woman seemed acrobatic, then you’ll understand why I’ve saved the G-Force for last. It’s quite a workout, and you’ll both need to be fairly limber to make the position work for you. If you do it right and practice enough you’ll be amazed at the strength, length, intensity and duration of her orgasm. In other words, the hard work is more than worth the result!

Here’s how to conquer the G-Force:

1. Have her lie on her back and pull her knees up to her chest, holding her ankles.
2. Kneel in front of her and take her ankles, allowing her to support herself with her arms while you set her into place.
3. Slowly penetrate her until you are all the way inside her.
4. Still holding her feet, keeping your penis inside her, move closer to her, raising her body, until her back is at a 45-degree angle to the bed and her thighs are parallel to it. If this is hard to visualize, study the diagram and it will all start to make sense.
5. Once she is in the G-Force position, you can begin to thrust in and out. In this position, your penis will come into direct contact with her G-Spot.
6. As you’re thrusting, continue to hold her ankles, using your grip to move her body along with your rhythm. Thrust gently or ram hard—both kinds of thrusting feel incredible.
7. In this position, you will both be able to stimulate her clitoris. If you elect to do it, you can also apply stronger G-Spot pressure.

We really enjoy this position because it is the single-most effective one for G-Spot orgasms. My husband holds me in place while I use a G-Spot vibrator that also gives me clitoral pleasure. I have to say, the orgasms are incredible. Although we’re not always physically up to having sex in the G-Force position, when we do, we have a night of mind-blowing, unforgettable sex.

More than any other G-Spot position, the G-Force will require time, communication and practice to master. Be patient with each other as you experiment, and don’t forget to make sure you’re both physically comfortable during this pleasurable workout. Once you experience your first G-Force orgasm, you’ll understand what all the fuss was about!

The trick to mastering these positions is intimacy. All three keep you body-to-body during lovemaking, allowing your hands to explore one another while you pleasure one another. If you follow my directions carefully—and with a little practice—you and your lady climb to new heights.

Spoons

Spooning is incredibly intimate. You’ll maintain full body contact in a position that allows you access to her vagina, clitoris and G-Spot.

1. Lie on the bed in the cuddling position, like two spoons in a drawer, curling your body around hers from behind.
2. Enter her slowly from behind.
3. Have her raise her upper leg slightly and rest it on your upper leg.
4. Holding her hips and keeping your own hips firmly in place, make a compact upward-scooping motion with your pelvis. A circling motion will also feel wonderful.
5. As you thrust into her, she is free to touch her body, caressing her breasts, skin and clitoris.

You have two options for clitoral stimulation: either of you can do it. You’ll both be in the perfect position to touch her clitoris. Hey, why don’t both of you do it together?

The Sitting Spoon

The sitting spoon uses the exact same technique as regular spooning, but in a vertical position.

1. Get onto the bed together and rest on your knees behind her.
2. Pull her onto you until she is deeply impaled on your penis and your bodies are in full contact, exactly as they were in the spooning position, but sitting.
3. Pull her against you as you grind into her and have her push back against you.
4. As you push into her, thrust upward, making full contact with her G-Spot. Depending on how she likes it, give her short or deep, fast or long strokes. Just make sure you keep that pressure firm!

Encourage her to touch her clitoris as you thrust into her, or let her hang on while you stimulate it for her. Don’t forget to touch her breasts and hips, which can also help you drive into her in exactly the right spots.

The Scissors

Scissoring is when your legs and bodies come together like two pairs of scissors, joined at the hinge.

1. Have her lie on her back on the bed.
2. Approach her sideways, with one leg and hip on the bed, and place your other leg over her thigh so that her leg is sandwiched between your legs.
3. Have her place her other leg over your hip, so that your leg is sandwiched between hers.
4. Once you’ve moved your bodies into the correct position, insert your penis into her vagina.
5. Keeping your penis firmly within her, rotate your body until your head is closer to her feet.
6. From this position, begin thrusting into her. It might be difficult to support yourselves, so try to use a wall or bedpost to control your motions.
7. As you near climax, grab each other’s hips to give yourselves better traction.

Once you develop a rhythm, add manual stimulation to the mix. You’ll be in the perfect position to stimulate her clitoris—try pressing down on her vulva so that her clitoris is engaged as you thrust into her G-Spot. She is also in a terrific position to touch herself, including her G-Spot.

Keep Your Lovemaking Firm & Focused

As you and your lover play with these new positions, remember the rule for successful G-Spot play: firm, consistent pressure. Although you’ll be thrusting into her for most of your lovemaking session, try to keep the pressure on her G-Spot firm. If you aren’t able to hit the spot the whole time, focus on doing so as she nears orgasm.

What does a G-Spot orgasm feel like? It really differs from woman to woman. Vaginal sex feels good because of the sense of fullness, and clitoral orgasms feel good because of the numerous sensitive nerve endings in the clitoris. G-Spot orgasms increase the intensity of both experiences.

When you combine all three forms of stimulation—vaginal, clitoral and G-Spot—the orgasm she experiences can be intense, forceful and long. She can even experience a couple of fringe benefits: multiple orgasms and female ejaculation!

Multiple Orgasms

No one knows why some women have multiple orgasms at the drop of a hat and others never have them at all. Unlike other kinds of female sexual response, there’s no physiological correlation between specific organs—the G-Spot, the clitoris, the Skene’s gland—and her ability to come multiple times.

Think of it this way: Why are some people ticklish and others aren’t? It’s just the way it is. But even when you aren’t ticklish, doesn’t it feel nice to have someone stroke your inner arm? Does it matter if you don’t collapse into a fit of giggles?

If you can go into your sexual encounter with the same mindset about multiple orgasms—that they aren’t essential, but a nice topping on a delicious cake—you’ll both enjoy the experience, no matter what the result.

If you’d like to help her try to have a multiple orgasm, all you need are patience, good timing and the ability to read her body language. As she comes the first time, keep applying the same stimulation, whatever it might have been: clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration or G-Spot play—or all three! Ease back a little, as she’ll be hyper-sensitive after an orgasm, but otherwise continue giving her pleasure after she crests the first time.

Some women will be too sensitive to continue. If this is the case, stop immediately. But if she indicates it’s okay to keep touching her, continue to apply strong G-Spot pressure and clitoral stimulation. She may just ride another wave or two.

Liquid G-Spot Orgasm

If you’ve been lucky enough to have sex with a woman who ejaculates, you know what an amazing experience it can be for her. At the moment of orgasm, she explodes, ejaculating fluid just as a man would during his own orgasm. Because female ejaculation is so rare, there’s something very special about experiencing this act of ultimate release.

The statistics surrounding female ejaculation are much more heartening than those about the G-Spot. In the 1990’s, researchers distributed an anonymous questionnaire to 2,350 professional women in the United States and Canada. Of the 55% of women who responded, 40% reported having a liquid orgasm; 82% of women who reported they experienced G-Spot sensitivity also said they ejaculated during orgasm.^[i]

G-Spot play is the perfect way to coax her body into ejaculating. There’s no special additional technique with respect to G-Spot sex for making her ejaculate; applying the manual, oral and sexual techniques in this book will cause her to ejaculate if the anatomy of her body allows her to.

As you apply pressure to the G-Spot, it engages the nerve endings in the Skene’s gland, through the narrowest part of the urethra and into the back and upper part of the clitoral muscle. When combined with stimulation to her labia, vulva and vagina, G-Spot pressure can cause waves of pleasure, orgasm and ejaculation.

If she ejaculates, don’t tease her or show her you might feel a little grossed-out about her ejaculation. It’s a very rare, special feature that many women simply don’t have. Enjoy it for what it is: the physical result of an amazing, earth-shattering, mind-bending orgasm.

If she doesn’t ejaculate, don’t blame yourself or her. Sometimes it’s just not meant to be. But does it really matter? You’re going to have so much fun trying my techniques that if she doesn’t experience ejaculation, your lovemaking experience will still be erotic, passionate and extremely satisfying.

If you and your lover aren’t having a lot of luck incorporating G-Spot play into your lovemaking, it could be that you’re using the wrong position.

Even though the missionary position is the worst position for G-Spot stimulation, it also happens to be America’s favorite way to make love. In fact, according to the Kinsey’s studies on sexuality, as many as 70% of U.S. men reported using just this sex position, to the exclusion of all others.

If that story sounds familiar, it’s time to try something new. In this article, I’ll teach you how to make even basic sexual positions perfect for G-Spot sex.

Modified Missionary

As I’ve mentioned already, regular missionary sex doesn’t work very well for G-Spot sex. It feels great, but when you’re in this position, it’s difficult to line up your anatomy so she’ll feel G-Spot pleasure. The secrets for making missionary work for G-Spot stimulation are pillows and positioning. Here’s what to do…

1. Have her lie on the bed as she would for regular missionary sex.
2. Place one or more pillows—or a sex cushion, if you have one—under her bottom, which will tilt her pelvis upward.
3. Lie on top of her and enter her as you would with the unmodified missionary position.
4. As you thrust, stimulate her clitoris with one hand.
5. When you sense she’s close to having an orgasm, change your thrust. Enter her about halfway, position your penis so that it’s hitting her G-Spot, and then use short, shallow, upward-scooping hip motions until you both climax.

Rear Entry Techniques

Although rear-entry sex is great for G-Spot sex, my modifications make it even better. Follow these tips for erotic rear entry lovemaking:

1. Have her kneel on all fours, spreading her knees slightly and tilting her pelvis back and up. It’s important for her to keep her back flat and her pelvis tilted up; she can’t rest her face on a pillow if you want this technique to work.
2. Enter her from behind, as you would with typical rear-entry sex, penetrating her as deeply as is comfortable for her.
3. Holding her hips and keeping your own hips firmly in place, make a compact upward-scooping motion with your pelvis. Do not pull out more than an inch or two.
4. Continue making these stroking motions until she lets you know her G-Spot is responding.
5. Apply more pressure with your thrusts, concentrating your focus on pressing the top of your penis against her G-Spot. Moving your hips and penis in small, tight circles is a great way to keep the pressure firm.
6. As you’re penetrating her with your penis, reach one hand around her and touch her clitoris until she has an orgasm.

She’s in Control
Woman on top is the best position for her to guide her own pleasure. This position gives her the control, and allows you a chance to rest (a little). Here’s what to do:

1. Get comfortable on your back. You can remain lying down or lean back against pillows or a sex cushion, whichever is most comfortable for you.
2. Have her straddle you, easing onto your erect penis, until it’s exactly where she needs it to be.
3. Next she should grind her pubic bone into yours, lining up her clitoris and G-Spot so that both sensitive areas are smashed between both your pelvic bones.
4. Although she can use whatever strokes, she prefers, I like grinding in small circles, gripping my husband’s penis with the walls of my vagina.
5. As she’s pleasuring herself with your penis, use your free hands to caress her body, including her breasts and clitoris.

It’s Okay to Throw Away the Rule Book

Good sex is dependent on a mutual connection, deep communication and extended foreplay. The actual sexual position doesn’t matter that much, as long as it works. Although I’d like you follow my advice as best you can, especially the first few times, feel free to add your own modifications.

You’ll be close to the action, so you’ll be able to observe how your touch affects her and modify your actions until you find the perfect combination. Make sure you’re physically comfortable because you’re going to be down there a long time—and loving every second of it. Here’s what to do…

1. Gently spread her labia and kiss her clitoris. Begin to tongue it a little, getting the area moist and slippery. Gently nibble her if she likes it.
2. As you focus on her clitoris, use different strokes to stimulate her. Small, tight circles feel wonderful, as do brief lapping motions. Try the finger techniques I described in the sidebar; many work well for oral stimulation as well.
3. Not many women like a sloppy, mushy clitoral kiss, so try to keep your tongue firm as you lick her. Vary the pressure and intensity according her body language, or ask her to let you know when she needs more or less.
4. Use your tongue on other areas of her vagina, like her inner and outer labia. Nuzzle, nibble and tongue her there. You might even start penetrating her with your tongue. A brief break from clitoral stimulation can arouse her even more—she’ll be dying for you to get back to it.
5. Begin licking her clitoris again, and insert a finger into her vagina. Stroke in and out a few times, and then add a second finger. Touch her G-Spot. If it’s engorged and sensitive, she’s ready for you to incorporate G-Spot play. If not, continue with your oral foreplay.
6. As you continue to lick her clitoris, curve your two fingers upward and apply pressure to her G-Spot. Match the intensity of your tongue licks with the pressure you’re applying to her G-Spot.
7. When you can tell she’s getting close to coming, try a technique that drives me wild. Rapidly and firmly lick her clitoris as you press into her G-Spot, pressing with the same rhythm as your tongue. Continue this move until she explodes.

Before you begin with G-Spot play, spend time giving her purely oral pleasure. Don’t rush it—take your time. You may even want to bring her to the edge, and then stop, a tantalizing move that gives her an explosive orgasm when you finally allow her to have one.

Are You Orally Ambidextrous?

A G-Spot vibrator or dildo can add an erotic variation to oral G-Spot sex. Since you’ll need a fair amount of expertise in oral G-Spot play before you can do two things at once, I recommend that you master oral play before you charge thing up with toys.

When you are ready, use a sex toy specifically designed to hit her spot. G-Spot vibrators and dildos have a curved tip you can use to apply that firm, constant pressure she needs — plus, it incorporates vibrating waves of pleasure.

If she finds that vibes add too much stimulation — some women are very sensitive — then you might try a G-Spot dildo. The design is similar to a G-Spot vibe, but without the vibrations. Apply the curved tip to her G-Spot as you lick her clit, and she’ll soon be writhing with pleasure.

Although my techniques usually work for most women, your lover’s needs and preferences might vary. She might take only a few minutes to get off, or she might need as much as an hour before she can come. Some strokes may make her giddy, while others leave her cold. She might prefer light play or a deep, intense experience.

The point I’m making is that even if you follow my advice to the very word, your lady might need something different when you give her cunnilingus. Experiment with different techniques until you find something that gives her a rollicking orgasm.

Most men I’ve spoken with about cunnilingus feel the same way as my husband. Although they don’t receive any direct sexual gratification, they find a great deal of pleasure giving oral sex to their wives and girlfriends.

Preparing for Oral G-Spot Play

Many women feel uncomfortable receiving cunnilingus because they think they don’t smell or taste good. Even if you love the way she smells and tastes, she might have a difficult time believing you. During the experience, she might be so busy worrying about her body that she’ll be unable to focus on your oral play.

If your lover feels this way, assure her that you love everything about her body, especially the way she smells and tastes. Take some time to make sure you’ve done everything you can to make her feel beautiful and special. Here are some ideas.

• Before you get started, take a shower together. Wash each other’s bodies until she feels squeaky clean.
• Create a seductive environment, including clean sheets, music, fresh flowers and candles. She’ll experience more pleasure if her body and mind are relaxed and stimulated.
• Make sure you’re both comfortable. My husband and I have found that the most comfortable position for us is with me lying back on the bed with my knees over the edge and him kneeling on a pillow between my thighs.
• Compliment her. Tell her how gorgeous she is and how much you love the way she tastes and smells. You really can’t do this enough!

When she’s ready for you to begin, don’t go for the gold. Go slow, and warm her up with my techniques for oral foreplay. Even if she has no inhibitions about cunnilingus, a slow approach will rev up her senses so high that when you do begin to pleasure her orally, she’ll be begging for it.

My Techniques for Oral Foreplay

One of the reasons my cunnilingus techniques work so well is that I advise my readers to spend a lot of time physically preparing her body. Don’t dive right in. Instead, use your hands and mouth to stimulate her erogenous zones before you begin your oral play. Here’s what to do:

1. Start by kissing her and softly running your hands over her body. If she seems tense, suggest a massage. Otherwise, continue to touch her lightly, watching her body for signs of arousal.
2. As she begins to feel aroused, spend a little time visiting her erogenous zones with your fingers, lips and tongue. Take your time, and mix it up.
3. When you can see she’s hot and bothered, gently spread her legs, and get into position between her thighs. Gently blow on her inner thighs. This move should drive her wild!
4. Next, stroke her inner thighs with the tips of your fingers. Kiss her lightly all the way up her inner thighs, beginning at her knees and working your way up. Keep your kiss light, like your touch.
5. When you reach her vulva, nuzzle it a little, breathing lightly on it and touching it a little with your tongue.

By now, she should be flushed, panting, writing and moaning. In other words, she’s primed for oral sex.

Oral sex and G-Spot play are an amazing combination! As you pleasure her orally, your hands will be free to explore other parts of her body, including her G-Spot. While you’re so focused on her vaginal pleasure, you’ll be in the best position to observe her body language and give her exactly what she’s asking for.