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The secret to tantric sex

Your sexuality is not only a vehicle to explore more love: it is also a vehicle for you to find a spiritual path”- Diane Riley

The tantric philosophy involves balancing the male and female energies to create harmony, and aims for spiritual unity of body, mind and spirit. I especially like this philosophy because it celebrates sexuality in a deep spiritual context.

In itself, the word tantra means “to expand, to be free, to be liberated”. This transgressed into sexuality by demanding it to be lived in its fullness, with joy and without guilt or frustrations. Tantric philosophy says that you should never repress your sexual desires, whatever form they might take, but you should accept it and enjoy it.

If you go into your lovemaking session with this mind-set it can create a whole new experience for you and broaden the spectrum of the ways you make love. Here’s what exactly you should be doing in order to achieve a deeper level of emotional connection.

First stop. Preparations.

Metaphorically speaking, tantra is a slowly burning desire. In order for this to happen, first you must create the appropriate setting. No, you don’t have to turn your bedroom into a shrine, but a minimum redecorating is in need. Turn off your phones, the TV, take the cat out. De-clutter, get rid of magazines, files, books, all that is distracting.

Create a calming atmosphere, where you shouldn’t feel pressured, hurried or reminded of your daily responsibilities. Make sure the bedroom is well heated- you are going to spend quite some time naked- the doors are locked, and the light dimmed. Better yet, spread candles on the window pane, tables and drawers and burn incense sticks. The flavors that are libido stimulating are those of musk, santal wood, and jasmine. When you’ll both enter this temple of love, you’ll be ready to start the most mind-blowing love and sex experience.

Second stop. Tantric massage.

After this, I usually advise couple to give each other a tantric massage. This is perfect if you’re looking to wake up your sensuality, exacerbate your senses and eroticize your sexual life. The self-abandon that this massage entails opens the doors to overwhelming pleasure. Its truly erotic character ensures a subtle exchange of ecstasy between both partners.

a)      The protocol: Tantric massage is practiced in the nude. To better enhance the senses, the use of a hot body oil is recommended. Contrary to other massage techniques, this one doesn’t have fixed norms. Sensual, enticing and energizing, tantric massage consists of large movements of connection between all body parts. Soft pressure, kneading, rubbing, skimming, stroking, apply these so gently and lightly that it becomes impossible to mentally perceive them. Your hands should glide on the entire body of your partner, from head to toe. The idea is to induce a sort of trembling vibration to the body, one that will rend thinking at anything else difficult. The sexual region should not be excluded either: your hands should touch her genitalia regularly and lightly, but without masturbation. During the entire process of massaging, breathing is essential: deep, diaphragm related, it aims to relax the one receiving the massage, to de-block her emotions so that she can accede to the beneficial sensations of touching.

b)     The benefits: Particularly sensual, this type of massage has as objective reaching full body consciousness, outside of mental restrains, far from daily life automatic gestures and behaviors. By being physically present in the act of making love, you can build a true erotic moment between the two of you, without any parasitical thoughts or frustrations. In the tantric tradition, these movements arouse sexual inspiration in the case of women, and forceful vitality, in the case of men. If you need to make your relationship more erotic, tantric massage is the first step to getting there, to allowing your sexual energy flow from one to the other.

Third stop. Climb a superior erotic peak.

Right about now, you’re full of anticipated passion. It’s time for what I can <the mantra of highs and lows>. You climb, you come down, you tease, you relax, you burn, you chill, and so on until you feel your body ready to explode. You build excitation until very close of the no-turning-back-point, than you calm things down. That’s how you learn how to master the art of reaching inevitable euphoria and being able to delay it.

The best thing about this kind of sexual intercourse is that it lasts longer and the orgasm is more explosive. Actually, you get to have two orgasms- the genital one, and a tantric orgasm.

The tantric orgasm is non-ejaculatory and non-genital and occurs only after a half-hour or so of union. The relationship between this and other types of orgasm is best described by Howard John Zitko, an American spiritual philosopher and author of “New Age Tantra Yoga”.

Zitko believes a conventional genital orgasm results from contact and friction alone, whereas a tantric orgasm is a whole-body contraction occurring as the lovers temporarily inhabit a higher level of consciousness, when the sexual act has moved from a voluntary to an involuntary state.

This total body orgasm arises because the accumulated, highly amplified sexual energy radiates beyond the genitals, filling the whole body and triggering a “cosmic pulsation orgasm”. Sounds awesome, right?

Have a spectacularly sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Also, try some yoga exercises for more openness towards this type of sexual encounter. They will put your body in the mood!

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