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Phone sex the right way

Sex Tips for Couples

Phone sex the right way

Phone sex the right way

You’re all revved up and ready to have phone sex with your partner, and then the phone rings and all you can think of saying is, “I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes, and I wanna move from the bed, down to the, down to the to the floor.” Phone conversations are hard, particularly when you’re supposed to sound sexy.

It’s completely normal to get tongue-tied during phone sex, and you don’t have to face-palm yourself if you feel this way. We are conditioned from an early age to experience pleasure quickly and silently, due to most of us growing up in households where masturbation required stealth and speed. Identifying and articulating our sexual needs is a learned skill, and one that takes practice.

And having a list of phrases to say before you start isn’t dumb, it’s brilliant. One of the ways phone sex is easier than in-person dirty talk is that it gives you the flexibility to have a cheat sheet in front of you in case you get stuck. You can think of it as a Mad Libs exercise, but for sex. Phone sex is an exercise in improv, self awareness, and communication. It can definitely feel awkward until you start to get the hang of it.

So, the next time you don’t know what to say, try one of these tantalizing, roll-off-the-tongue phrases.

Moan

If you lose your train of thought, the best thing to do is talk about how hot your partner is making you feel, and then just let moaning fill the space. The easiest solution is to act like you’re thoroughly enjoying yourself while you catch your thoughts.

“What are you wearing?”

One common way to initiate phone sex is to just ask the person on the other line what they’re wearing, because it’s a simple but easily recognizable sign of sexual interest. Initiating phone sex doesn’t have to be super witty; you just need something that gets the point across.

“Tell me what you want to do to me”

The good thing about phone sex is that you always have a partner to help you along if you get lost. But, instead of just saying, “Okay, your turn,” ask them to describe what they would want to do to you. It buys you a few seconds before you have to say something again, and will likely inspire your next topic.

“When I imagine myself inside of you I want to come”

If you’re at a loss for words, simply name a body part, an action, and how it makes you feel. If that’s too complicated, you can swap different parts or reactions in the phrase, “Feeling your _____ all over me makes me want to _____”.

“As soon as I walk into your room I feel your hands pull down my pants”

Role play doesn’t have to involve some crazy fantastical plot line, and you can totally explore things as yourself. Phrase scenarios in present-tense so it feels like it’s actually happening in real time.

“I feel my skin burning. My dick is hard. I feel heat radiating from it. My body is craving your touch.”

If you do lose your train of thought, audibly take a deep breath or two. While you’re taking those two deep breaths, check in with your body and narrate something that’s happening.

“I feel you breathing faster as the pleasure is building”

Although much of phone sex involves noises, you should try to describe all of your senses — including sounds — in great detail. Explain the sensations you’re feeling, and your partner might be able to “feel” them, too.

“I run my hands over my abs, down my belly, and slip my right hand into my underwear”

Talking about how you’re masturbating is the easiest starting point for phone sex. And if you’re at a loss for words, you could always just say nothing and let your partner listen to the natural sounds of you masturbating.

“I can see your muscles shake as I tease your button, which is begging to be fingered

Take your time, because the longer you have on the phone with your partner, the better phone sex will be. Teasing your partner by telling them that you’re “hovering” above or around their genitals will enhance the mental stimulation even further, and make them even more turned on.

“I’m going to bring you to the edge of orgasm until you’re so overcome with need that you beg me to let you come”

If there’s a kinky sex act that you’re dying to try, but are too nervous, phone sex is the perfect time to play out those fantasies. You can bring power play into edging, for example, and bring someone to the brink of an orgasm, then slow down or stop. You might also ask your partner to ask you for “permission” before they’re “allowed” to orgasm.

Hot kisses,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. For more information about sex games to try with your lover tonight, check out my program on the matter, Magical Date Mystery.

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