“Sex is like pizza – when it’s good, it’s good and when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”
When your sex life is great, you feel on top of the world, but when it’s not, it can be extremely hard to deal with. Especially when every now and then, often with no warning, you can find yourself just not really all that up for it. Before you think you’re the only one, studien found that people aged 16-44 are having sex only 4-5 times a month. Yikes. Don’t think it’s just us girls either, 62% of men turn down sex more frequently than their female partner. It looks like we’re all in this together!
Having a low sex drive can be upsetting for you and your partner, who might be wondering if you just don’t fancy them anymore. But losing your libido is totally natural, especially if you’re stressed out from modern life and technology. The thing to remember is that doesn’t have to be permanent, so there’s no need to panic.
So what causes a low sex drive, and what can we do to get us back in the mood for some loving? Any of the following can affect your desire for some bedroom action: kids and the challenges of being a parent, self-esteem, your body image, the quality of your relationship, too little sleep, your general state of mind, the effects of which vary from person to person.
But there are other, more specific factors that can also alter your sex drive: alcohol, recreational drugs, medication and medical issues like diabetes and obesity. Phew! It’s a miracle that you’re ever in the mood for sex!
How to boost your sex drive
While there are medicines out there that can help, they don’t always work that well and often have side effects. Sexual arousal is a complex combination of physical, emotional and environmental factors, that’s why I recommend trying a natural approach to boosting your libido. Things like losing weight, relaxing, trying out new experiences (not necessarily sexual ones) to boost your excitement and therefore raise dopamine levels, essential oils which can change your physical and emotional state as well as the pheromone levels in your partner, can all boost your sex drive.
Focus on your mind
Most of the time you can control your thoughts and feelings, with the help of a little focus and concentration. Realise how lucky you are to be in a steady, secure relationship. The more you believe it, the more your partner will see it. Remember that your partner is with you, she wouldn’t be wanting sex with you if she wasn’t attracted to you. And stop worrying about those lumps and bumps too. Trust me, no woman is looking at those.
Relaxing with a warm bath or a massage can really help you to de-stress and get you into the mood. Another neat trick is to just go with the flow, even if you aren’t really in the mood. Have you ever noticed how you might not really feel like having sex with your partner, but if they initiate it, you might notice that once you get going your sex drive shoots right up?
Have a sexy week,
P.S. You might also want to try tantric sex, which is where you and your partner spend longer reaching orgasm, keeping yourself on tipping point until you, hopefully, achieve one of the best orgasms you can have.