When you think of doggy style, you probably think of your partner kneeling on all fours while you grab her hips and enter her from behind … but this isn’t the only option. This position is easy to modify, which is good news for those of you for whom it doesn’t work perfectly every time. Ahead, six common doggy-style struggles and what to do about them.
The penetration feels too deep for your partner. Doggy style often allows for deeper penetration than other positions, one of the reasons so many dudes love it (to say nothing of the view). Deep penetration can be painful, though, especially if your partner is not fully turned on: Not only does she get wet during arousal, her vagina also expands and elongates so don’t skimp on foreplay before doggy-style sex. Aim for a 20-minute warm-up, and don’t forget the lube. If your partner is still feeling some sort of pain, take shallower thrusts or experiment with having your partner move side to side, up and down, back and forth, or in circles while you stay motionless. Bringing her knees closer together will bring her butt cheeks closer together too, forming more of a cushion between her vagina and the penis. She can also arch her back more deeply so the penis is redirected to the sensitive front wall of her vagina.
Your partner is uncomfortable without belly support. Some women report that they don’t like their bellies hanging unsupported during doggy style. If your partner is one of them, use any old pillows she can lie across during rear-entry sex (and so much more), or have her lie over the edge of a bed, table, chair, or couch.
Her vagina isn’t lining up with the penis. While a height difference outside of the bedroom ain’t no thing, during doggy style, you want your parts to align with your partner’s. A doggy-style strap can help tilt her pelvis to a more convenient angle, either by raising it higher than it would otherwise be or angling it upward. You can also try having your partner kneel on the bed while you stand on the floor next to it, or have her lie stomach-down on the edge of the bed with her knees on the floor while you kneel behind her. Another technique to try: Have your partner lie down on her belly and enter her, then slowly raise yourselves up gradually. This may take some practice and possibly a collapse or two, but it’s a good way to find your doggy-style sweet spots.
Doggy style feels impersonal. While I think that much of the allure of doggy style lies in how primal it seems, maybe your partner’s beef with it is that it doesn’t feel sensual enough. But there’s no rule that doggy style has to be fast, hard, or rough. If she likes it that way, forego the dirty talk in favor of affectionate words and skip the ass-slapping and hair-pulling to stroke her breasts, back, hair, butt, thighs, neck, and clit. Slow the pace, and voilà, you’ve done it: You’ve made doggy style romantic. Eye contact still isn’t part of the equation (unless you’re doing it in front of a mirror, which I highly recommend), but the trust implied when you aren’t looking into someone’s eyes during sex can be hot in its own right.
Your partner is not getting enough stimulation. Doggy style can be light on the clitoral stimulation, so it’s up to your and your partner’s fingers, plus any toys you want to introduce, to take care of that gap. You can use a longer, curved vibrator to reach her clit and shouldn’t neglect other erogenous zones, such as the underside of her butt, the back of her neck, and her anus. In fact, anal play can be the key to mind-blowing doggy-style sex, whether that means your finger is inside or around her anus or you’re rocking a butt plug or dildo in there. For sensory overload of the very best kind, try doggy style sex with a butt plug inside and fingers or a vibrator on your partner’s clitoris.
P.S. For more hot information on naughty sex positions, check out my program on the matter – Passionate Positions.