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The one thing missing from your bedside table

“The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.” – Alfred Kinsey

They are chic, sleek and used by nearly half the population and can totally help you and your partner spice up your sex life. I’m talking about vibrators, and if your only related experience involved a threatening penis-shaped slab of plastic, you’re missing out. Not only are the most recent vibes to hit the market way more aesthetically pleasing, but they were created by designers to make contact with your partner’s body (and yours!) in the most nerve-tingling ways.

Erotic… and elegant

What sparked the change? It started back with Sex and the City. Seeing a character like Charlotte get acquainted with a vibrator helped break stigma on sex toys. The trouble was, there wasn’t a large selection of sophisticated products available at the time. Enter designers who realized that they could apply their eye for luxe design to the untapped sex-toy market. In 2002, a few years after Charlotte got her buzz on, Ethan Imboden, an industrial designer, began fielding client requests for custom-designed vibrators. Women wanted sex toys that looked sexy, not scary. This realization caused him to start up Jimmy Jane, an upscale vibrator company based in San Francisco.

Imboden and other designers – including Suki Dunham or OhMiBod and Nomi Tang, creator of vibrators like Better Than Chocolate – began doing research with sex experts for insight into the ideal vibrator. They quickly discovered that penetration isn’t necessarily the most effective pathway to pleasure. Many women tell me the best sensations from their vibrators come when they’re being used by their partners around the clitoris and vulva. These revelations led to a new generation of toys that hit all of a woman’s hot spots and are worthy of displaying on your bedside table. For example, the Jimmy-Jane 2 vibrator looks like a postmodern sculpture of a rabbit – with each ear designed to stimulate either side of her clitoris.

Welcome to orgasm central

Even if she’s one of those lucky chicks who can climax quickly, you owe it to her to help her experience a vibrator-induced orgasm. That’s because there are actually nerve endings surrounding the clitoris that respond best to the speed and strength of vibrations, so she will be experiencing pleasure she wouldn’t feel through sex or manual masturbation.

And if reaching an O can be elusive, spending time experimenting with a vibe can give you insight into where she needs to be touched to trigger the big release. Once you’re ID-ed those precise areas, it makes it that much easier for you to follow lead. Not peaking due to a mental block? Using a vibe in front of you is a great way for her to let go like never before. A lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm in front of their partner, because they’re either self-conscious or overwhelmed by so many sensations. Focusing on her own needs can sometimes be just what she needs to lose her inhibitions. Try it out by asking her to give you a sexy show, which will double as a hot-for-teacher tutorial. Watch then take the lead to demonstrate what you gleaned from viewing her technique.

Toys for two

While vibes can help women get through a dry spell or over the, ahem, hump of performance anxiety, they can be just as essential in a long term relationship. A study has found that almost 40 percent of women have used a vibrator with a partner, during either foreplay or intercourse. Some tricks to try: Alternate oral sex with vibrator strokes to her labia, or hold it in the palm of your hands as you stroke her down there with your fingers. Or consider a couple vibe, like the innovative We-Vibe, which she uses while you’re inside her. One end of the toy touched her clitoris, and the other buzzes against her G-spot. Adding this toy to your sexual arsenal guarantees plenty of hot hookups. Which is much more than I can say for sexting.

Have a hot week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you end up inviting your vibrator into the action, make sure it receives the role of a supporting player, not the main course.

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Take a look at what is being said about this article.
  1. stuart

    we have been using messagers/vibrators for a long time.on my clit at first for years. one day while my husband was fingering me I pushed it against his fingers and I felt it his fingers vibrate inside of me. I had him hold his fingers on my g spot and I started flooding my juices, I was squirming all over till I was in a different demensin, I was having my first g orgasm. Since we have bought many different kinds. I always thought of having two guys at once but would never realy do it. A long thin one with his penis at the same time gave me the introduction. now theres times, not often where I have one along with a penis in my pussy, one in my butt,clip on on my nipples and one my my lips. when I cum he has a hard time staying in side, I cant help it Im jirating all over the place. as I cum from one,soon Im cuming from my g, then back to my clit.weve counted 6 in a row and 3 where they were both a the same time. Ive hyperventalated and passed out several times, but its so intense and such a complet calm after that nothing compares. Its too much to do often, but at less once a month. Feel free to contact both of us any time. We try every thing you write about.

  2. Vernon Brown

    We have electric shaver which has a viberator hookup which fasten on when you take the blades off and also we have a dong viberator which takes c batteries and we use both of them on each other I enjoy making my wife come abunch before intercoarse, I use my fingers on her body touching her every where and I use my mouth and tonge andkiss and lick on her whole body but do the but then the pussy last

  3. Keith

    Hi how the heck can I persuade my wife to try cunnilingus? we are both nearl 70, ad she seems to think its dirty,
    Having a job to get her to let go, she thinks I’m perverted
    Any advice appreciated

  4. edward

    so helpful; mind if there are more kinds of vibe to stimulate her? which is better, a big, round-headed vibe or the sleek one. thanks!

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