“You can motivate by fear. And you can motivate by reward. But both of these methods are only temporary. The only lasting thing is self-motivation”- Homer Rice
It’s not news that guys can go from hello to “Oh!” in minutes, while women take way longer to get aroused and become properly prepared (physically and emotionally) to come. It’s also old news that this thing can turn itself into a serious matter of frustration for a man who is worried about the way he performs between the sheets.
But coming at the same time, or at least after the woman comes is totally possible. There are only two things you should take into consideration: the right moments when to speed her up and slow yourself down. Follow my advice and everyone will have a happy ending.
1. While kissing
a) Speed her up. Because her neck is both nerve-packed and often ignored, few things can turn up the heat for a woman like the feel of a guy’s lips there. Pull her hair aside while kissing and nibble her ear a little bit. You can also amp up the titillation by taking turns to kiss her in different body parts. This trick will kick her out of her comfort zone and get her ready to some serious action. When you implement the no-hands rule, the kisses become even more intense than the usual, which will only work to your advantage. This way you can experiment with more creative ways of bringing her to the boil. A few examples: rub your lips against her nipples, sweep them along her belly button, and even gently brush your unshaved face against her cheeks, for more intensified arousal. Another favorite of mine is what I like to call “the tongue twister”: drag her tongue into your mouth slowly, and then suck gently on the tip. This playful twist on a typical kiss will send currents of electricity between her legs. Most women like a medium amount of pressure when they kiss, and this sucking motions is exactly that- not feather-light, but not hard either. Plus, it will make her fantasize about where else you might use your mouth on her.
b) Slow yourself down. Avoid tonsil hockey in favor of lips-only smooches and delicate, teasing tongue flicks. Research suggests that swapping spit can ratchet up your arousal because a woman’s saliva contains hormones that set you off.
2. During foreplay
a) Speed her up. To ensure she’ll climax before or at the same time you do, start stimulating her clitoris as soon as possible. Put a few favorite drops of your favorite lube (lubricants are proven to help women get aroused more easily) on your fingers, and take them between her legs. Experts report that circular stimulation, starting slow and building up the speed, is most effective.
b) Slow yourself down. When handling your manhood, she should maintain a soft touch, and keep her strokes closer to the base, where you are less sensitive. Also, convince her to vary her moves: you’ll love the shifting sensations so much that you won’t notice you’re skipping the steady friction that makes you orgasm.
3. During oral sex
a) Speed her up. Insert your pointer and middle fingers into her vagina with your palm facing the ceiling, and then rest your chin in the palm of your hand. In this position, you can move your fingers in a come-hither motion to massage the front wall of her vagina (G-spot territory!) while teasing her clitoris with your tongue.
b) Slow yourself down. To light your fuse without triggering an unexpected explosion, your partner should only kiss and lick your penis, but don’t suck (otherwise, it feels too similar to being inside her). Showing your testicles a little love will also give you mega pleasure without pushing your go button.
4. During intercourse
a) Speed her up. Girl-on-top grants her total control of the speed, angle, and depth, so it’s best for speeding up her orgasm. Instead of moving her hips up and down- which will bring you closer to the brink-, she should slide them back and forth so that her clitoris is rubbing against your abdomen. Don’t be shy about getting involved and pushing up hard or increasing the speed. She’ll love the intensity.
b) Slow yourself down. Long thrusts are the male orgasm’s best friends, so keep them to a minimum. If you want to try missionary, have her wrap her legs around your waist so you can’t pull out very far, or have her grab your butt with both hands and pull you in close for the same effect.
5. Right before you orgasm
a) Speed her up. Focus on one trigger move that you know for sure it will make her go crazy: a red-hot, super-explicit, kinkylicious thing you call up when she’s on the brink of orgasm but needs an extra push. It can be a kiss in a place that you know it turns her on like crazy, or a combination of customized pushes that makes her come in a matter of seconds.
b) Slow yourself down. If you sense you’re getting close (your body is tensing up, you’re breathing harder, and your thrusting is more rhythmic), and she hasn’t yet come, switch positions or stop altogether, and kiss for a moment. You’re really close? Have her quickly reach down and create a ring around the base of your penis with her forefinger and thumb, squeezing firmly. This can act as an emergency break, buying you more time to have her get to the edge.
Have a sensual week,
P.S. Instead of the predictable back and forth movements, “stir” your penis inside your partner; these circular motions feel softer and more sensual and as your penis rotates inside her, you’ll be able to stimulate every inch of her vagina.