Guys love to finish first, except in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, studies have found that the average intercourse (no foreplay) session lasted 7.3 minutes. If you’re hitting that average, why should it last longer? Because it’s fun, duh.
But on a more serious note, learning to hold off ejaculation can help alleviate insecurity about coming too fast or not satisfying a partner. A woman needs about 20 minutes of sexual play to orgasm, so if you climax in two, what’s a girl left to do?
Even if you do know how to make yourself last longer, it may actually be sabotaging your performance in the sack. All men have their own extending technique, from thinking about football or baseball or counting backwards in their heads. However, these distraction techniques can end up making you worse in bed because you aren’t paying attention to your partner’s pleasure.
So it’s time to throw out any of those bizarre “extending techniques” and opt for one of these sensible options for longer, more fulfilling sex for both you and your partner. Here’s to no more football fantasies during sex!
The first cut is the deepest, and the first erection is the most sensitive. If you jump straight into sex with that initial ‘Let’s go!’ feeling, the anticipation of an orgasm will push you to climax quickly. The best way to fix this is to masturbate before a romp in the sack. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be right before the deed! Ejaculating an hour or two beforehand makes it harder for you to come as quickly the second time. You can build up arousal again with slow and intimate foreplay with your partner, so your excitement is initially satisfied and you can better pace yourself and sync up with your partner’s rhythm.
Slow things down
Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time. Slowing down the sexual pace leads to a more intimate experience for both partners. It’s more sensual because you’re caressing and exploring the rest of her body. Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body. The sensuality and connection sparked by slowing things down will help a woman enjoy the sexual experience more, so this tip will actually rile your partner up as it helps you maintain control.
Squeeze your base
This age-old trick comes straight from famous sex researchers Masters and Johnson, a team who pioneered the study into human sexuality. Just before you are about to ejaculate, your partner can place the tripod shape formed by the thumb, index and middle fingers around the tip of your penis or around the base and squeeze. Thanks to modern sex toy inventions, a penis ring can also work! With these tools, you will orgasm, but will not be able to ejaculate. This trick is akin to bending a hose in half to stop the flow of water, though cracking your penis in half isn’t the best idea here. A firm grip will do!
Explore the edging technique
I often encourage women to use the edging technique for a more intense, full-bodied orgasm or a blended climax. Still, the same technique can help you extend your sexual performance time. When you are close to orgasm, stop and wait a minute or two to allow your breathing to return to normal and much of the sensations to fade. (You can always manually or orally please your partner so you aren’t awkwardly waiting around.) Then, pick back up slowly to extend your time of fun together. Everyone has an “ejaculatory inevitability” or point at which orgasm will happen, so this technique trains the body to delay that cliffhanger from falling off the edge too early.
Bring in reinforcements
Not only does a condom work to prevent pregnancy and STIs, it provides a barrier that slightly reduces the penis’ sensation during sex. If you’re using a popular brand like Durex or Trojan, swap it out for a thicker condom to serve as a desensitizer for the act. But whatever you do, don’t double-bag. You can also consider using a ‘delay spray’, which only requires a few quick sprays before hopping in bed. This endurance enhancer is like Novocaine for your penis, so it decreases the sensitivity that leads to quick climax.
P.S. For more information on how to extend your lovemaking, check out my program on the matter – Last Longer Tonight.