There is a lot of bad information out there on how to last longer. It’s particularly bad because some of the advice you find on the Internet could actually make a guy come a lot faster, instead of last longer. It’s definitely a hot topic, which is why there is so much information out there, but like any hot topic, you have to be careful about what advice you follow. I’m glad you’re here. You know that with my 10+ years of experience writing about sexuality and helping couples that I would never give you bad advice.
So, today I would like to tell you about 10 simple and easy ways you can last longer. Some of these might go against other advice you’ve heard. If that’s the case, ignore that old advice, it might be hindering your ability to last longer.
Before having sex…
1. It’s all in your head – Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, a lot of what goes into lasting longer is completely in your head and within your power to control it. If you think negatively and worry about cumming too quickly, then you will probably make that a reality. However, if you can force yourself to think positively and tell yourself that you will last longer, you actually WILL last longer. Combat negative thoughts by replacing them with a positive one. Even if you don’t believe it yet, the mind is a powerful things. So, replace “I know I’m going to cum in 30 seconds and ruin another good night,” with “I’m going to last longer and we’re going to really enjoy being sexual together.”
2. Relax – Just like above, it’s important that you’re relaxed in both body and mind. Consider doing some meditation or yoga to help you relax. Ideally you would do this every day to make you more relaxed in general, but you can also do it 3-5 times a week or at the very least before a day when you know you’ll be intimate with your partner.
3. Masturbate – Now this is one of those tips that you may have heard mixed things about. Yes, it is good to masturbate, but you need to do it in the right way. Use masturbation as a training for lasting longer. Practice your relaxation techniques and try to make it last as long as you can.
4. Use a condom – Even if you’re with a regular partner who you trust enough not to use protection, a condom can help to dull the sensations of sex slightly. This can help you especially as you’re learning how to control your orgasm more.
5. Don’t use substances – This is another tip that you have probably heard mixed things about. DO NOT use alcohol or drugs to try to dull the sensations of sex. This doesn’t work in the long term, even if it seems to work once or twice. Using alcohol, drugs and cigarettes in general can actually make you cum faster and even cause other sexual problems like erectile dysfunction. Reduce or eliminate your use to really start to last longer.
6. Practice deep, slow breathing – This is a great thing to begin to practice in your yoga and/or mediation that you need to use during sex as well. Fast, short breathing can actually make you cum faster, so pay attention to how your breathing and slow it down. Take slow, deep breathes and it will also help you to relax.
7. Spend a good, long amount of time on foreplay – This will not only get her much more aroused and turned on for sex, but research also shows that couples that have more foreplay, have longer sex sessions in general.
8. Don’t think of horrible things – Some men have received the advice to think about something horrific (like murder or something really disgusting) to try to turn themselves off and decrease sensitivity. This is actually a terrible idea because you are creating negative associations with sex and this could lead to other kinds of sexual dysfunction.
9. Change positions – When you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, try pulling out and changing position. Take this short moment to breath deeply and calm down. However, remember not to change positions 10 times in 2 minutes or else your partner won’t be able to enjoy herself.
10. Continue thinking positive – Even if you can’t last as long as you would like at first, remember that it’s a process that will get better slowly over time. You won’t go from cumming in 1 minute to lasting 20 minutes. But you might last 1.5 or 2 minutes, then 5, and so on. Think positive during sex even if you think you might cum before you’d like to. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are.