“Sex is perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings?” – Sue Johanson
Have you wondered what it is that makes sex feel so amazing with one woman, while with another (however much in love you might be) it’s just a bit, well, meh? Nothing can give you greater sexual confidence than knowing that when your body comes together with hers it creates sexual fireworks. But why is it better with some women than others? Why do some couples almost explode with ecstasy when they make love?
A study recently published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that most women do find it easier to orgasm if their partner’s penis is on the large side. But it’s not as simple as that because, just as the male anatomy comes in all shapes and sizes, so does the female anatomy. Bigger is not always best- it’s all about how your bodies fit together. Good sex can even keep a couple in a relationship. I’ve met women who have stuck with men who aren’t right for them much longer than they should have, because the sex was so hot.
Sizing up
Penis size, shape and width varies as wildly as breast size. The average member (when erect) is 14cm in length and about 12cm in girth, with most men falling within 5cm either side. Less than 7.5cm is considered a ‘micro-penis’ while anything more than 16.5cm is large. Penis enlargement surgery is on the increase – but while The Journal of Sexual Medicine study did find that women orgasm vaginally more easily with a larger member, it doesn’t tell the complete story.
What constituted a large penis is subjective. Some men have slight bends or a bulbous tip, and these things can make him feel bigger or smaller – depending on the position – than someone who is technically the same size. The same goes when it comes to girth: a small, thick penis can feel bigger than a long, thin one. A University of Ulster study concluded that the women involved were more orgasmic because a larger penis will stimulate the entire length of the vagina and cervix. But fingers and an optimum sex position can do the same. With a little trial and error it’s quite possible to enjoy all the sensations of mind-blowing sex – and without any discomfort – whatever your size.
It’s what’s inside that counts
I’ve pointed out that, like men, all women are different down below – but essentially we work the same way. Most vaginas are 7.5-10cm in length and 2.5cm in width when not aroused. When aroused, the top part of a woman’s vagina tents or opens and the cervix and uterus lift, making it about 12.5-15cm long. Some women are slightly longer, wider, or have less muscle tone than others.
Women often worry men will think they’re not tight enough during sex, but experts say this is a common misconception. The chances of a woman being too big for sex are slim. The same goes for being too small: we’re pretty classic. When the vagina is filled – with a tampon, finger or penis – it will expand to fit the size, and mold itself around the width of the object.
The warm-up
As every good chef knows, the success of the main course depends on a lot of careful preparation. A woman can get her body ready to have the best response to your penis. There’s no fail-safe guide, but a little experimentation should help discover what works for both of you.
- Prime her G-spot. Despite what producers of porn will have you believe, an overly large penis is actually more likely to leave a woman gasping with pain than pleasure. The key word here is foreplay (as with all penis sizes) – in particular, stimulation of the G-spot. A study by New Jersey’s Rutgers University found that a woman’s pain threshold increases by 47 percent if her G-spot is stimulated. This rises to 107 percent if she has a G-spot orgasm. The G-spot is on the front wall of the vagina, a few inches up. It feels rough – a bit like a walnut – and swells during arousal to the size of a 10-cent piece. Insert two fingers about 4cm into her vagina, resting your other hand on the front of her pubic area. If you press her stomach, just below her belly button, this will push her G-spot down to reach your fingers. As you do this, grind your palm into her clitoris.
- Prepare for entry. A penis that’s long and thin tends to be more flexible, so it’s the perfect size and shape to tickle a woman’s anterior formix erogenous zone (AFE) – a bundle of nerve endings about 5cm higher than the G-spot. Touching this spot will make her ready for sex in as little as 10 seconds, as it sends sexual arousal signals direct to the brain. No matter what size you are, you will need to go long to prepare this sweet spot, as it’s quite high up in her vaginal canal. Bend her legs up towards her body and insert your index finger into her vagina. If you move your fingers about 5cm past the G-spot, you’ll find a spongy area. You’ll know if you’ve found the right spot because she’ll get instantly wetter.
Have a sweet week,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. If you pack a wide load, you’ll need to ease your entry since a wide penis stretches the vaginal opening and puts pressure on the perineum. Try some lube! For more tips of the trade on how to arouse a dormant libido and enjoy passionate sex again, click this link.
