What is your biggest concern when it comes to your performance in bed? If I had to guess, based on my ten years of experience in the field and talking to thousands of men, I would say your biggest fear is probably being bad in bad. Plain and simple. No one wants to just be plain bad in bed. Not being the best seems to leave some room and possibility for improvement, but being bad? Most guys worry that this means they are starting from zero – no skills at all. I’m here to assure you, even if you’re one of the guys out there that worries about this, hope is definitely not lost. How can you avoid this horrible fate? Most guys focus on what they need to do to improve their technique. That’s a great start, but there is one other thing that is just as important. You also need to focus on what NOT to do in bed. Here are my top 5 sex mistakes that you need to avoid like the plague if you want to be a great lover:
1. Don’t be a taker – One big complaint women have about men is that they’re selfish in bed. They just do what they want to do and don’t really take their partner’s pleasure into account. It may or may not surprise you to know that a lot of guys think just putting their penis inside a woman is good enough. They think because it feels great for them, it must feel great for their partner. Well, those guys are very wrong. Women need a lot more stimulation than that. Learn what she likes and do it!
2. Men don’t pay attention – This is an important thing to keep in mind, especially for you, my dear readers. Not every woman likes every sex technique. You might read about a great sex technique on my site and try it out. She might LOVE it… or she might not. Just because it works for one woman doesn’t mean it will always work for all. Pay attention to her body language and physical reactions. Is her breath getting heavier, is she flushed, is she wet? What does her facial expression look like? Despite what porn might “teach” you, a woman usually doesn’t scream and moan like a mad woman the second you touch her. She might be loud or quiet as a mouse, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoying things. You need to learn her arousal signals and tune into them completely.
3. It’s all about your penis – This is a big mistake. Guys who think their penis is the only tool they have to please a woman is going to have a very disappointed and frustrated partner. If you have learned anything from me, and I hope you have, you’ve learned to use your mouth, your hands, your breath, your movements and your mind to please her.
4. Doing the same thing every time – Routine is a killer for sexual desire. It’s a bit unfair really. Once you know your partner and exactly what you likes, you need to then start trying new things and changing up the routine so that sex doesn’t get boring! But this doesn’t mean that you have to reinvent the wheel every time you have sex. It could just be spending an extra 10 minutes on foreplay, changing the location or time of day when you usually have sex, trying a new position, or changing up the things you know she likes. You should still try completely new things, but it doesn’t have to be every time.
5. Showing a lack of confidence – If a guy who worries too much about his sexual performance then his insecurity is going to shine bright like a beacon. You don’t want that to happen. Confidence is a hard thing to have when you’re not totally sure of yourself, but there is a trick to it. FAKE IT. Not feeling confident? Fake it. Not sure if you’re the best? Tell yourself that you are. One big mistake that guys can make is not knowing the difference between being sexy and confident vs macho and clueless. Remember the tips above, be a giver, pay attention to what she likes, treat her well! But with confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean being cocky and acting like you’re god’s gift to women.
Avoid these 5 sex mistakes, my sexy readers, and you’re well on your way to being a great lover.