Let’s be honest. You might LOVE sex but there might be days when you’re just not in the mood. The general assumption is that men always want sex and are always up for it, any time, any day, just say the word. But that’s actually not the case for a lot of guys. There are days when you are tired or just don’t feel like it. And we all know that women also struggle to get in the mood sometimes. So, what can you do to get yourself in the mood and help your partner get in the mood? Luckily they are a lot of things one can do! Here are my favorite 7 things to help get you and your partner in the mood if you’re in a rut:
1. Get your relationship in a good place – No one wants to have sex when you’re really not getting along. Take time to listen to your partner, take an interest in her life and make sure that you’re both feeling connected and close to each other. This will habour intimate and close feelings, which will lead to more intimacy and sex!
2. Do other things in bed – I’m not talking about reading a book or playing games on your phone, but start thinking outside of the box when it comes to sex. You don’t need to have vaginal intercourse every time you have sex. If one person is tired and not in the mood and the other person wants to have sex, it might be a good opportunity for one person to give and the other to receive. A quick handjob can be really fun and feel great if your partner is not in the mood for sex. Or you could give her oral or finger her if you’re not in the mood. It’s a good way to connect without having to have sex. Apart from that, remember that orgasm doesn’t always have to be a part of it either. Sometimes you can just cuddle, give each other a massage, hold hands, make out or a number of other activities. Studies have shown that couples who engage in that kind of activity are happier in their relationships.
3. Use a little help – There is nothing wrong with using a little pornography now and then to get the sparks flying. Women might even enjoy reading romance novels, which can be very sexual, to give their desire a boost. Porn or romance novels can put the idea in your head and provide you with an exciting fantasy to get the ball rolling.
4. Location is everything – Desire starts to wain in a relationship because it becomes familiar and regular. In some ways that familiarity can be really comforting, but it also can kill a person’s libido after enough time together. One way to change things up without changing your partner up is by changing where you have sex. You’d be shocked at how much simply changing where you do can really turn you on.
5. Try new things – On that same note, trying new things in the bedroom is another way to change things up and break out of the regular sex routine. Change up foreplay, talk dirty, play out a fantasy, role play, try a new position, or introduce food into your sex life. There are a lot of ways to change things up.
6. Break a sweat together – Couples who are in great physical shape are more likely to have great sex because they’re taking good care of their bodies, but there is also an added benefit. Some of the chemicals in your body that are released during exercise are the same ones released during sex, so you are unconsciously making an association with your partner and those chemicals. Getting sweaty with her in one place will make you want to do it in another.
7. Have more sex – It might sound funny, but the more you have sex, the more you’re going to want to have sex. You may have heard of the phrase, “use it or lose it.” Well, it actually does apply to your desire level, especially for women. If you go a long time without sex, you might actually find that you care less about having sex. But if you have sex regularly it’s a good reminder for why it’s so great for you and your relationship. Sometimes men and women have sex and desire isn’t actually the first thing they feel. They might do it because they want to feel closer to their partner, but they don’t feel desire at first. The desire comes later once they are actually already being intimate.