“The world is little, people are little, human life is little. There is only one big thing — desire.”
? Willa Cather
I just finished chatting with a girlfriend of mine who was complaining about her her lack of sexual desire in her relationship. She has been with the same guy for the last 15 years. She is still in love with him and she’s still attracted to him, but she just doesn’t feel like having sex. Not just with him, but with anyone. Her husband, on the other hand? He still wants to have sex on a regular basis and it’s been a problem in their relationship for a long time. She’s come to a point where she just doesn’t know what to do about it anymore.
Does this sound familiar? Believe me, it’s something I hear about all the time. I hate to make generalizations when it comes to the genders, but here I go. Men tend to want sex a lot more than their women partners, especially in long term relationships. Desire might fade a bit for both people, but men still want sex on a regular basis whereas some women could go forever without it. One of the questions I hear a lot from our readers is how they can reignite their lover’s interest in their sexual relationship. Having the best sexual techniques is super important. You want to be able to really WOW her when you have her in the bedroom, but if you can’t even get to that point we need to start by working on desire.
One thing that surprises a lot of people is that there are various lifestyle changes that have a huge effect on sexual desire. They don’t realize that how they treat their bodies has a direct effect on sexual functioning and desire. So here are my favorite 6 ways to turbocharge her sexual desire (and your own!) in a completely natural way.
1. Exercise – Exercise is a great way to increase a person’s sexual drive and their enjoyment of sex. Of course you can’t suggest that your partner should start hitting the gym, she’s sure to take that the wrong way and assume you want her to lose weight! So you’re going to have to be creative about ways that you can exercise together. Exercise will benefit you by improving your sexual performance and enjoyment as well. Try suggesting going for hikes, bike rides, and brisk walks in the evening to settle your meal. Not only are these nice activities that can increase the non sexual intimacy in your relationship (which for women is important for sexual desire), but exercise also makes the body release endorphins which are believed to increase other hormones in the body and lead to an increased sexual drive. Working out will also get more blood flowing throughout your bodies, including to the genitals, increasing pleasure.
2. Get Sweaty – While we’re on the topic of exercise, the next time you get hot and sweaty working out, skip the shower and go give your lady and nice big hug. There is a compound found in male sweat that can greatly increase a woman’s sexual desire. And go easy on the cologne, she should be able to take in your natural, sexy scent.
3. Eat Oysters – Oysters have always been linked to sexuality. You’ve probably wondered if a food could really change a person’s desire level. What you eat plays a big role in desire. In general a healthy, balanced diet will naturally increase a person’s sex drive, but there are also specific foods that have been linked to increasing desire. You have probably heard of aphrodisiacs. While there isn’t one single food that she will eat and immediately become a sex starved maniac, there are foods that give the libido a boost. Oysters, in particular, have various elements that make them a big time aphrodisiac. First, they contain dopamine, a hormone that makes you feel really good. They also contain zinc, which is shown to increase testosterone, a key hormone for both men and women’s sexual arousal. They are even said to contain very rare amino acids that increase testosterone and the female sex hormone progesterone.
4. Help Her Relax – Studies have shown that steam can naturally increase a woman’s libido, so the next time you’re in the mood for some loving, draw her a hot, steamy bath first. The steam will take its effect, but your partner will also be emotionally moved by your thoughtful gesture. Her mental state plays a big role in her desire and enjoyment of sex, so helping her to relax will certainly help to set the mood.
5. Hot and Spicy – Make another romantic gesture and cook her a hot and spicy meal. Hot chiles, spicy curries, and cumin are said to naturally increase arousal by increasing blood flow throughout the body and to the genitals. And as an added bonus, she’ll love that you cooked for her.
Boosting your partner’s sex drive can happen in many different ways. You can’t just rely on one way or another. Being thoughtful and affectionate can bring you closer to your spouse and increase your intimacy on an emotional level, which will in turn make things more interesting in your physical relationship.
Hot and spicy kisses,