I know so many couples who don’t bother with digital sex—no, I don’t mean dirty movies, but bringing her to a climax with your hands. I think that when we graduate to “fancy” sex, the idea of finger play no longer seems as exciting.
That myth couldn’t be more false! Even the most experienced partners can find erotic satisfaction in letting their fingers do the walking, especially when those fingers are walking on her most sensitive area, the G-Spot. Here’s how to do it.
- Don’t head directly for her vagina. Instead, spend time kissing and caressing her face, neck, breasts and belly. Arouse her different erogenous zones. Bring her to a heightened state of sexuality before you even begin with manual stimulation.
- Once she’s hot to trot, so to speak, lay her back on the bed, and make sure she’s comfortable. Adjust the pillows to support her hips and neck so you can make sure that she’s totally relaxed and ready to abandon herself to pleasure.
- Sit next to her on the bed near her hips, facing her side. This position will place you at the perfect angle for reaching her G-Spot.
- Start by gently touching the area around her vulva, including her belly, hips, thighs and the sensitive area just above her pubic hairline. When starts to squirm and sigh, you know she’s ready for more.
- Using the techniques I outline below, “New Ways to Titillate Her Clit,” begin to stimulate her clitoris. Use a few different ideas, and mix them up a little. After a few minutes, she should be fully aroused and very wet. Now she’s ready for G-Spot stimulation.
- Keeping one hand free to caress her clitoris, use the other hand to stimulate her G-Spot. First slip one finger inside her and find her G-Spot. If it’s engorged and sensitive, insert a second finger and apply gentle pressure. If not, spend a little more time on foreplay.
- Watch her face and body as you touch her. Ask her to give you feedback on the pressure you’re applying to her G-Spot, and adjust your touch accordingly.
- When you’ve found the perfect amount of intensity, work on your rhythm. Try to coordinate the motions of both hands, so that your clitoral manipulations match the pace of your manual G-Spot stimulation.
- As she nears the crisis point, continue to press upward into her G-Spot, and stimulate her clitoris with your other hand. She may prefer a consistent finger technique at this point, something without variation. Many women report that they have stronger, better orgasms if their lovers stick with the same stroke when she’s nearing the height of pleasure.
To add a hotter dimension to your finger play, get involved in the action. As you touch her, she can touch you—or you can touch yourself!
New Ways to Titillate Her Clit
When your partner masturbates with her fingers, she probably knows exactly what she needs to get off. She might even do the same moves every time because they work so well for her.
When you’re the one doing the finger-play, however, you won’t be able to replicate her exact movements—unless you’re lucky and maybe a little psychic! You’ll need to find a few new movements unique to the way you are pleasing her with your fingers.
Consider these new techniques for clitoral play:
- The Roll: Place your thumb and forefinger on either side of her clitoris and roll it very gently and slowly. As she begins to respond, you can roll more quickly and intensely.
- The Reversing Circle: The most common way to caress her clit is by tracing circles on it with a finger or two. In my move, you’ll incorporate the element of surprise. As you’re circling, change directions back and forth. Don’t use a particular rhythm; be unpredictable.
- Tracing: Some women don’t like too much direct pressure on their clits. If your lover is like this, use one finger to trace the perimeter of her clitoris. Vary the pressure and intensity according to her body’s response.
- The ABCs: One of my favorite tricks is to trace the alphabet on my clitoris. This technique will feel incredible because the stimulation will vary so much. Trace the letters of the alphabet forward and backward—write whole words, if you’d like (how about “I love you”?).
- Tapping: This technique is just what it sounds like: You’ll tap her clitoris with a finger. I don’t mean you should bang out a drumbeat on it—be gentle! Start with light slow taps, increasing the intensity and speed of your movements as she begins to respond.
Now that you know five new ways to touch her clitoris, mix them up a little the next time you make love. Try starting with tapping, and then move onto the roll, tracing and the ABCs. Finish up with the reversing circle, matching your moves to the rhythm of her body.