“Comicus: But we Romans are rich. We’ve got a lot of gods. We’ve got a god for everything. The only thing we don’t have a god for is premature ejaculation… but I hear that’s coming quickly.” – Mel Brooks’ History of the World: Part 1
Men who suffer from premature ejaculation are often afraid of being the butt of the joke. Fear of rejection keeps many from initiating sexual contact at all, so the difficult becomes a debilitating self-fulfilling prophecy. Are you concerned about your staying power? If you are a bit of a minute-man and are worried your wife isn’t getting all the pleasure she needs, read on.
What’s Going On?
While any kind of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation could be a sign of a medical problem (thus, it is always a good idea to consult your doctor!) some men have just learned a quick ejaculatory response, likely a result of viewing sex as a simple release instead of a shared experience with your partner.
Perhaps you are just over-excited, or the infrequency of your sexplay has you getting ahead of yourself, or you are getting lost in the moment and forgetting to hold back until after you’ve reached that point of no return!
You certainly aren’t alone, so read on for more information on how to handle different types of erectile difficulties.
Who, Me? PE?
According the Urologists at the New York University School of Medicine, men are three times more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) than erectile dysfunction – at least 20 to 30 percent of all men!
There are three basic guidelines to a diagnosis of lifelong premature ejaculation:
1. Ejaculation that (nearly) always occurs within one minute or less of penetration.
2. The inability to delay orgasm during (nearly) all vaginal penetration.
3. The experience of negative personal consequences from the experience of early ejaculation.
“Normal” couples report average intercourse times of 2 to 10 minutes – remember, this does not include foreplay! If you are concerned about PE, it’s time for a visit to a doctor for a check-up. Aside from obvious physical causes, sex therapists or sexologists may be able to diagnose psychological or emotional issues cause difficulties or suggest exercises to increase stamina.
Don’t forget that the experience of PE may be scary and confusing for your wife as well. She could feel self-conscious and worried that she is doing something wrong, and will need your love and support to communicate openly and honestly with you about it.
The key to making a sexual experience last longer when penetration puts you over the edge is to spend even more time on foreplay! Turn your attention to her pleasure and make sure she cums at least once before intercourse even begins. PE will be a lot less stressful for her if you show a dedication to her orgasm.
Body mapping is very helpful for lasting longer – if exploring with your partner helps you to discover the feelings, sensations and movements that really push you right to your limit, you can discuss with your wife so she knows to avoid those until she’s ready for you to finish.
If she has turned her focus on you, keep her moving and changing her position by suggesting different configurations of hand, finger, mouth and tongue movement. Mixing it up will keep you from losing yourself in the sensation and let you hold off until she’s satisfied with the experience.
Follow the link at the end of the post for six more great tips how to hold back when you’re staring at the point of no return!
Stop and Go
The obvious advise is to keep going as long as she is feeling good! If this presents a problem and you don’t want the experience to be over before she’s had her fill of you, switch it up. No one says you can’t stop intercourse or foreplay focused on you to go back to her! If she says she’s getting close, but you’re closer, use your mouth, hands and toys to bring her over the edge. Once she’s off on the ocean of orgasm, you can get right back in where you left off and ride the wave all the way to the finish line!