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Outside the Box: 5 Ways to Get Out of Your Sexual Comfort Zone

“Why did God create men? Because vibrators can’t mow the lawn.” -Madonna

It’s true that many men feel threatened by sex toys, as if they could be replaced, but trust me that this isn’t what your wife wants! Sure, if she has a sex two or a few, she probably enjoys using them on their own… but think of how much better it could feel with you in control of the toy?

What other kind of ‘kinky’ or creative things are you aching to try? There are dozens of ways to step outside your comfort zone and try something new and exciting, but we can start with these five basic categories and expand our repertoire from there! Breaking away from your routine is going to take some confidence, but isn’t it worth it to try some of the sexual fantasies you’ve been dreaming about?


Sex toys can be intimidating, so don’t get ahead of yourself. Nowadays, just about every town as an adult store. If you are lucky, there will be a “women-friendly” alternative shop in your area – these tend to be the most comfortable for newbies. Show-owners will be more knowledgeable and have a wider selection of body safe premium quality toys, with discreet and even classy packaging.

By far the most common toy used by both men and women is the vibrator, which comes in any variety of shapes, sizes and speeds with any number of other interesting features. One of the standard favorites is the ‘personal massager’ type, which can double function as a tool for relaxing sore, tired muscles in the shoulders, back, legs and other erogenous zones as well!

Don’t forget about all the other things available to enhance sex play – cock rings, bondage gear, lubricants, furniture and games to get things going. Head on over to your local friendly sex shop and ask for a tour of the toy section!


Did you know that, second to the palms of your hands and the other erogenous zones, the soles of the feet have more nerve endings by surface area than any other body part? 36,000 or so, in fact. People tend to be grossed out by feet, but if we are all clean (as we should be, right?) before getting down and dirty, what’s a little toe-action going to hurt?

A foot massage not only relaxes the muscles in the legs, back and shoulders but stimulates the erogenous zones and makes for great foreplay! The feet are unique in this capacity to effect the entire body, so ignoring them completely is a shameful waste. If you’re paranoid about germs, take a bath together and scrub them clean yourself!


All of us have fantasies and desires that may not seem to make sense in the light of the day-to-day. These feelings can be confusing and sometimes even scary, but through the magic of roleplay we can say and do things that are a little bit (or way) outside our comfort zone from the safety and anonymity of another identity.

If you speak another language, or are keen to learn, this is a great way to get into another frame of mind! Costumes, props and story lines can also help, but your play could also be wordless. Your desires and those of your partner will depend on your personalities, so communication here is very important. Sex, especially the experimental kind, can bring up deep emotional reactions and heal past personal or relationship wounds, so be prepared to give support as well.


The best picks for food play are things that are fresh and in season. Processed foods containing any kind of starch or sugar can be risky and cause an imbalance in the body if inserted anywhere but the mouth, so save the desserts for feeding each other! Fresh fruits and Popsicles are great for this, and work very nicely for some tasty nipple play as well. Eating sushi from the body of a naked woman is a classic image, and an aphrodisiac if you include some oysters in the mix. In the winter time, warm edible oils like coconut make for a delectable massage and oral enjoyment.

Location, Location, Location

When was the last time you had sex somewhere other than your own bed? Mix it up a little! The backseat of the car, the bathroom at a dance club, the walk in closet at a house party or even your kitchen counter at home all make a great place to start feeling young again. Recapture the spontaneity of your youth and jump at the next opportunity for a quickie.

If sex is a bit boring and your foreplay needs some warming up, you have two options – you can keep to the same monotonous moves or you can use your courage and creativity to try something new and exciting! Which will you choose?

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