Connect with us

Kinky Shades of Play for Beginners

Foreplay

Kinky Shades of Play for Beginners

With the new popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey, women are starting to embrace their “kinky” side. So, guys, you better get on board the kinky train because your lady is going to want to try out some of the new sexy kinky stuff she is learning about.

What is Kinky?

Every society develops morality norms, rules and standards for behavior, including sexual behavior. What may be “acceptable” or normal, or popular sexual behavior now, may have been very taboo not so long ago. For instance, sodomy (anal sex) was still against the law in the some states until 2003. Nowadays, anal sex, along with many other types of taboo or kinky play are becoming more mainstream and accepted as just different flavors of sex that some adventurous couples want to try. In other words, human sexual behavior is a cultural construct, influenced by what a particular society deems acceptable.

Are You Adventurous?

As long as you are practicing “safe sex” and everyone playing is consenting adults, there is no reason not to add a bit of sexual adventure into your love life. I like to think of “kinky” sex as a more playful type of sexual expression that allows us to unleash our inner fantasies in a safe way.

From rough sex, to blindfolding, to playful spanking, KINK or BDSM is more mainstream than ever.

Fantasy

When we were children we knew instinctively how to play and act out games and fantasies. But, as adults, we have lost that ability to play, learn, explore and try new things.

Kink offers us ways to bring back that sense of wonder, exploration and fun we once had, but in a new, very adult way.

In one of my recent articles, I wrote about the top female fantasies that many women have. These include scenarios of sexual dominance and submission, and the surrender of control. Many men have similar fantasies as well, which can complement their partner’s fantasy.

When practiced safety, sanely and between consensual adults, these acts are considered by most to be just another form of sexual expression.

Types of Kink

Kinky play includes many types of erotic activities which fall under the umbrella of BDSM which refers to bondage and discipline, sadomasochism, and dominance and submission. While some of these terms may sound a bit scary, they are only names for various types of kinky play. Within KINK, there are many activities that couples can explore together such as role-playing, bondage, spanking, discipline or punishment, dominance and submission, power exchange, as well as the full spectrum of mainstream sexual interactions.

Role-playing

Role-playing is like playing dress up and then taking on a certain role that you play out during a sexual “scene” or erotic play. Usually, the characters will complement each other, but be unequal in power: one who is dominant and the other submissive. The dominant is usually the giver, while the submissive is the receiver, but the roles can also be interchangeable.

You have likely heard of or fantasized about different types of these scenarios such as Master/slave girl, Teacher/schoolgirl, Doctor/nurse or patient, Pirate/captive, Boss/secretary and so on. These are just a few of the most popular types of role play available, but let your imagination be your guide!

Dominance and Submission

In Dominance and submission, one person plays a dominant role, while the other person takes a submissive role like those listed above. You don’t have to “play” a role in order to be either dominant or submissive in the bedroom. You can just be you, being more dominant than maybe you usually are, while your lover becomes more submissive.

Of course, this is something you would both discuss together and agree upon.

First, you would discuss your fantasies or what types of dominance and submissiveness you want to try. Decide on specific activities you’d like to try and also express each other’s limits as to what is off boundaries. In BDSM culture, those playing together usually rely on a “safe word” as well, such as RED, which lets everyone know that play needs to stop. This is a safety measure in case something becomes too intense or no longer feels safe, which can happen when you are exploring new things and pushing your usual boundaries.

Dominance during sex play could be holding someone down during sex. It could be giving someone orders, or talking dirty to them or calling them dirty names. It could involve tying someone up and doing bondage, or erotic spanking. It could involve types of extreme sensations like pain and pleasure mixed together for an erotic experience. Hair pulling, spanking, and types of sensation play could all be a part of the body’s sensory experience.

Bondage

Bondage is being held down or tied up during sex or erotic play. Bondage refers to “restraining for pleasure”. The pleasure could be in the visual appeal in how someone looks when bound, which can be erotic to the giver, or physically pleasurable to the one receiving or being bound.

Ways to use bondage include tying with rope, using hand cuffs, bondage tape, blindfolds, or mouth gags, and even a sex swing can become a bondage device.

Some people find being bound very erotic, while others hate it or are claustrophobic. So, be careful when playing with bondage and always make sure you have a quick way to unleash your victim, like safety scissors if you are using rope. Also, make sure to learn how to perform bondage correctly, and learn all the do’s and don’ts.

Sensation Play

Sensation play is a way of touching your partner in a sensual way to bring about various sensations on the body. It can consist of using a feather, silk, or fur on their skin while they are blindfolded, or ice and hot wax. Other toys like pinwheels can be used to give a prickly sharp type of sensation. Read my article on Sensation Play here.

Spanking

Erotic spanking has long been a part of many couple’s fantasies. It entails a Dominant who takes the submissive over their knee (or restricts them in other ways like bondage) and spanks their bottom. The point is not to give pain for the most part—although pain once eroticised can become very pleasurable—but to give another type of sensation and pleasure.

Spanking can also be about humiliation, or being treated as a naughty girl, or one deserving punishment. In that aspect, it can be more of a mind game and is about the act of submitting, rather than wanting to feel pain. A submissive is someone who likes to submit, and be dominated. While a masochist is someone who likes the feeling of pain and eroticises it into pleasure. These are two separate types of people, although some people enjoy both, so be sure you know why someone wants to be spanked, or dominated first.

So, there are just a few Kinky Shades of Play for Beginners. Stayed tuned to GabrielleMoore.com for more information on kinky play (coming soon) and other types of sexual adventures for couples!

Play safe and stay sexy!

Continue Reading
You may also like...
2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. MUDASIR

    March 24, 2016 at 10:25 am

    This seems complicated to partners who prefer to always be the submissive. Most of females -I guess-, do not enjoy being dominant,except for a short time during the “Play”.

  2. Bishop chris

    April 29, 2016 at 7:11 am

    your articles are very fantastic and it also educate the couples including the youth on how to keep their love alive.Tanks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Foreplay

Categories

Popular

Top Sex Tips

oral sex

Oral Sex - Cunnilingus

5 common oral sex problems and how to fix them

By May 11, 2017

Oral Sex - Cunnilingus

The Alpha Lover’s guide to out-of-this-world oral

By February 24, 2017

Oral Sex - Cunnilingus

Women Confess: Women Get Real About Oral Sex

By August 28, 2016

Oral Sex - Cunnilingus

Oral Sex: The Power of Your Tongue

By August 1, 2016

Oral Sex - Cunnilingus

12 Tips to Make Oral Amazing

By May 31, 2016
To Top