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Reach Out and Touch Someone: Fancy Fingerwork for Multiple Orgasms

Fingering Techniques

Reach Out and Touch Someone: Fancy Fingerwork for Multiple Orgasms

Emotional release and muscular release are interdependent – one does not occur without the other.
–   Elaine MaylandFemale orgasm has always been a very mysterious experience. While there are some women who suffer their entire lives without an orgasm, more and more are talking their pleasure into their own hands like I did, and teaching their husbands how to help. While each orgasm is in a way completely unique, there are stages of pleasure that are part of the experience in a number of different configurations.

Build Me Up, Let Me Down

The natural path toward orgasm can be described in three basic stages with a few significant events. The initial inklings of lust define the first stage, called desire. The activities that bring about desire in women are incredibly diverse, but can usually be discovered by understanding what you can do to relieve stress in her life. Do the dishes, get a babysitter and a hotel room, draw a hot bubble bath, learn erotic massage – there are dozens of foreplay techniques that can help release her tight muscles and open her up to you.

After desire, a woman begins to experience arousal which is usually evident in her body. Increased heart and respiratory rate, flushed face and chest, erect nipples, warm skin and vaginal lubrication are all great signs of arousal, but don’t wait for all of them if she tells you that she’s ready for more. Use lube if necessary to take the next steps.

When orgasm occurs, watch out! The strong PC muscles take over, fluttering with great speed as the entire muscular system in the body contracts and releases, letting go of stress and pain, tension and frustration.

Come On Down!

Multiple orgasms certainly aren’t something that every couple needs to make a goal, but when a woman is able to reach her first orgasm by manual stimulation, second (and third, and fourth) orgasms during penetrative sex are much easier to achieve.

Unlike the standard terminal orgasm, it is possible to experience an orgasm, then instead of refracting and losing arousal (and possible desire), a plateau is reached. From this static position, it is much easier to return to orgasmic bliss, whether you can count her orgasms during your play, or they all bleed into one long flood of pleasure.

The Ten Commandments

While your fingers are definitely key to your success expanding your wife’s pleasure, there are ten simple rules that really define the process.

1. Stay Positive: The trick to going all the way is to really believe that you can!

2. Think Sexy: She may need a lot of foreplay to get her receptive to lengthy lovemaking and multiple orgasms, so go slow and let her desire build before skipping right to arousal.

3. Map It Out: Don’t spend all your time focusing on her genitals. Your hands are good for all sorts of touch, so work your way around her body, exploring and discovering new erogenous zones.

4. Lip Service: Your hands are great, integral in fact, but don’t forget about your mouth. With fingers penetrating and a tongue on her clit, you are well on the way to taking her to new heights of pleasure.

5. Back and Forth: Believe it or not, the best way to get her to multiple orgasms is to stop before she gets there…. just for a while. Tease her a bit, bringing her close to orgasm, then backing off for just a few seconds before going back for more.

6. On the Spot: Between her clitoris, her vaginal canal and her G-Spot, there are a few different kinds of orgasms she can experience all in one night. Why not try for them all? Be sure to hit the spot on the front wall of her vagina, just a couple inches inside, but don’t be forceful. Use a “come hither” motion and you’ll rock her world.

7. Exercise: Don’t assume that using a computer gives you the finger-strength to match her orgasmic stamina. My book discusses a number of great exercises not only for your fingers, but for her PC muscles to improve her orgasms, and we’ll talk about a few of them another day soon. Stay tuned!

8. Double Time: What’s better for a woman than having all a man’s attention focused on one of her most sensitive spots? Having him focus on two! Try reaching for her breasts while finger her, or squeezing her ass while going down. What other unique erogenous zones does she have? Hit more than one and she’ll be ready to come.

9. Three’s Company: If two’s good, three is a whole new world, whether she is stimulating her own nipples, using a vibrator, or you are just extra dexterous, fingering her vaginally and anally while licking her clit. This might be a bit overwhelming for some women, but if you wait until after she’s had her first or second orgasm, she can ride this triple stimulation out all the way to exhaustion.

10. Take it Easy: Keep the pressure off. You’ll want to put aside some time for multiple orgasms, and if she finishes with one and is done, don’t worry. There’s always next time!

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