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Let Her Fingers Do The Talking

Fingering Techniques

Let Her Fingers Do The Talking

The best person to give any man advice about how to finger a woman… is the woman he wants to please! Most women are experts at using their own hands to bring themselves pleasure, and if they aren’t, they certainly should be! Sex toys are wonderful, but they can’t replace the touch of skin on skin. If you really want to learn how to touch your lover’s lady parts, you need to pay attention to how she does it.

She’s Shy

Even if your wife enjoys masturbation regularly, that doesn’t mean she will automatically feel comfortable doing it in front of you. Try to make her comfortable in whatever way she needs – keep the lights off or low at first, lie beside her in bed while she masturbates under the covers so she isn’t overly exposed. Even if you can’t see or hear anything at first, just being in the room is a step in the right direction to getting her more comfortable. One step at a time. Proceed as slowly as she needs you to and don’t get pushy. This needs to feel safe and supportive if you really want to learn.

Awkward

She may or may not be the shy type… but even if she is ready and raring to go without any need for encouragement, if you’re exhibiting outward signs of awkwardness, things could go downhill fast. Try not to make a big deal out of it. If it is important to you that you learn how to touch her in just the right way, she will find it hard to argue against those reasons for getting so up close and personal! Ask her to start a regular masturbation practice that allows you to sneak a peak, get closer and closer, find out what exactly makes her tick. If you both keep in mind that this is for her pleasure, you can’t go wrong. Just remember that – don’t get so carried away enjoying the view that you forget the purpose.

Women often use the most effective methods they know of to reach orgasm quickly. You may not want to use the exact same techniques as she does, in the exact same order, but it is a safe bet that she knows the techniques it takes to bring her over the edge, if you don’t. Watch her carefully, closely. Once she’s comfortable with your presence and into your participation, you can start to speak up. Tell her how hot she looks! Ask her questions about how certain movements make her feel, about her reasons for changing pressure or direction. Keep a close eye.

The Learning Curve

If she isn’t as knowledgeable about her own pleasure centers as she may like, there is even more reason to begin a regular practice. Give her the space to explore her own body and tell you what it needs. She can find her own particularly sensitive spots easier than you, without any doubt. Give her the chance to do it!

After you have taken some time watching and learning, you will need to practice if you want to get it just right. Place with some back and forth, trying to mimic her movements for a few seconds after she shows you something that she likes. Let her hands show you the way, then see if you can make her feel as good as she can do herself.

An Understatement

Notice that most women don’t penetrate when they masturbate? This should tell you just how important the clitoris is to female pleasure, and how unimportant penetration might be. Of course, just because a woman can orgasm easily from manual clitoral stimulation doesn’t mean she doesn’t want intercourse when she’s with you! As you well know, masturbation and sex are very different processes. Learning to gain pleasure from one requires practice with the other – and it goes both ways!

Encouraging your lover to masturbate regularly is a boon. Not only does she have the opportunity to increase her own orgasmic potential and learn more about her body (while teaching you!) but it also gives you a chance to masturbate more often as well. Just as her touch can teach you, the way you touch yourself when you masturbate can be a great lesson for your lover in how you like to be touched. Don’t ignore the valuable lessons that mutual masturbation can provide!

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. Graham Watson

    June 7, 2012 at 8:43 am

    I found this information very useful. I like to give a sensuous massage as part of foreplay and then gradually get down to fingering. It had never occured to me to encourage my better half to masterbate in front of me. Great idea. Thanks.

  2. me

    June 7, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Gabrielle, my wife tells me she has never mastubated. What advice do you have ?

  3. Penny Riche

    June 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    Thanks Gabrielle, Your information is great. I enjoy it and learn soo much from you. Penny

  4. need encouragement

    June 8, 2012 at 12:41 am

    Gabrielle, (much like a previous post) my wife says she never masturbates. Is that true? I thought that was a part of human nature.

    She lets me do it to her, but i’d love to watch her do it.

  5. Brad

    June 8, 2012 at 3:12 am

    I’ve spent time in certain parts of Asia where young women are often adamant that they don’t masturbate. The act is regarded as something almost to be ashamed of. As a guy, i find this hard to believe, but i suppose it is possible. Your thoughts?

  6. Dom Francisco

    June 8, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    Thank you for your website. My wife will allow penetration (particularly, doggie style) but totally objects to any clitoral touching what so ever. I would love to pleasure her with fingering techniques but she will not allow it. She says that clitoral fingering is for teenagers, therefore it is taboo for me in any way. I’d love to give her powerful “G-Spot” and Squirting pleasures as well as sensual oral but she won’t allow it. What shall I do?

  7. Dr. K.K. Bonia

    January 19, 2013 at 9:59 am

    In conjugal life, best love and sex play/game have greatest positive role in every society to make the couple, society and home(manahement)to achieve a successful life there by a good society with best human civilization.More to write…..
    Yours with thanks
    Dr. K.K. Bonia, Professor

  8. Al

    August 4, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    U might like.

  9. Al

    August 4, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Find it interesting.

  10. shaktari

    July 8, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    i have never been able to masturbate with my hand – literally, ten years of trying and i can barely even get turned on with my fingers. if i dont use a vibe i just dont finish. so i have been trying to get more comfortable using a toy in front of my husband, but i definitely feel a lot of performance anxiety because i can’t get anywhere using my hands and so i feel like bit of a failure.

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