– PlatoThere is nothing more worrisome in a marriage than the realization after the new-relationship-energy begins to fade that you and your partner do not share the the same libido love style. If you are relying too heavily on plain vanilla intercourse in your sex life, it’s hard to keep up with someone who might have a more active libido than yours, and difficult to take your time if you sometimes feel like you have to fight for the chance to get busy in bed.Taking the time to get to know these ten types profiled by Dr. Sandra Pertot in her book, “When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match” will set you on the road to recovery from a misaligned motives and untimely urges. Which one are you? How about your wife?
The Entitled Egotist
This lover has convinced themselves of some serious sexual skills, when they are in reality quite lacking. Feeling as if they are entitled to do whatever they need to enjoy an orgasm, their partner is likely to feel left out, especially any shy types who don’t have the heart to ask for what they really want. If you are this kind of lover, you should have your wife use her hands, to show you what she really wants when you touch her.
The Absorbed Addict
The addictive lover doesn’t just love sex, they need it on a daily basis. If regular sex is lacking in their lives, other areas tend to suffer, and intimacy is no exception. If an absorbed partner isn’t getting what they want, they are much less likely to hesitate before cheating, rationalizing that having this need fulfilled elsewhere will make them a better partner. Use your hands to keep up to this firecracker, who is going to need your fancy fingering on a very busy schedule.
The Scared-and-Stressed
Sex isn’t always an enjoyable event, especially for anyone who grew up in an extremely sex-negative environment, or who has experienced trauma in a sexual event. Characterized not only with a low libido, but with a very high level of fear and stress associated with any kind of sexual contact, this lover needs you to go slow and uncover the secret sore spots that need healing. Learning to accept their own body and pleasure through masturbation is the first step.
The Demure Disinterested
This libido is really defined by a lack of libido and has many different causes and outcomes. Foremost, sex is not going to be a big motivator, but intimate touch can definitely still be enjoyed. Don’t assume that a lover disinterested in the standard idea of sex will also pass up your hands-on advances.
The Distracted Detached
It isn’t as if the distracted lover doesn’t enjoy sex, but if it’s isn’t the first thing on the to-do list, of will fall by the wayside or get stashed on the back burner…. maybe even until it burns and sets of the smoke alarm. Setting a schedule to enjoy some time together is a great way to remind yourself or your partner that sex is on the agenda, and ensuring that distractions have been shut off or put away will help keep the focus on what matters.
The Chronic Compulsive
Sometimes a person finds themselves filling a specific sexual need with fetish and fantasy, like BDSM and pornography. There is certainly nothing wrong with a little experimentation, but chronic compulsive lovers learn to only orgasm through specific, ritualized sex acts without being able to truly feel the freedom that pleasureable sex allows. Exploring the wide range of touch sensation can help bring this partner back from the brink of addiction.
The Distraught Dependent
Sex can be one of the best stress relievers, and the dependent libido knows this, relying almost solely on sexual release to relax. If sex isn’t regular, this libido type is likely to get frustrated easily, which can lead to a cycle of fighting and make-up sex, so use your fingers wisely to massage and manipulate your lover to orgasm when they need to loosen up.
The Resigned Reactive
A reactive libido relies entirely on the instigation of a partner, so be prepared to let your magic hands do the talking and turn her on. A reactive partner will take some time to get going, so use your fingers wisely so you can reserve your energy until she’s had the chance to heat up.
The Seductive Sensual
This exotic creature can be described as passionate, emotional and expressive, especially in the realm of sexuality which is the true expression of love. Sensual surprises are the best way to tease and tantalize, so if your wife falls into this category, use your handy helpers to massage her, feed her, bathe her, caress her, even spank her lightly!
The Eager Erotic
Intense and demanding describes the erotic lover perfectly, always seeking adventure. Any kind of sex is acceptable when it comes right down to it, but definitely not enough. A partner can’t rest until they agree to try something new and different to alleviate the boredom of ho-hum sex. Fingers are so versatile, you can learn a new move every week and with practice, expand your repertoire so she never knows what’s coming.
Hot kisses,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. Your woman will crave fingering if you do it well – especially since not a lot of men have this skill. If you want to learn more, I recommend you check out my program on the matter – Flirting Fingers.
