Don’t get me wrong – fingering is a great way of intensifying her pleasure and even give her a powerful orgasm without penetration. Nonetheless, most women don’t enjoy fingering and a few of my friends even hate it.
“What’s the deal with fingering? I don’t get it. I’ve never met a man who could make me feel other than uncomfortable while doing it. My current boyfriend is really rough and moves so fast that I can’t even tell what’s going on down there. Sometimes I have to stop him because it becomes painful and it ruins our night together. I don’t know, I think fingering is overrated”, says Alissa, 34.
When done wrong, fingering can be the most annoying thing a woman can experience – it actually resembles a visit to the gynecologist (not pleasant!) more than sexy play. So encourage your woman to give you honest feedback on this, because if she doesn’t actually like it, you have to improve your skills ASAP, before it ruins your sexual connection.
Here are the most common reasons why your fingering technique might be wrong and also a few essential suggestions on how to give her orgasmic sensations!
1. You’re too rough
As my friend says, the most common mistake men make is being too rough. Remember that going faster doesn’t necessarily equal more pleasure. The secret is always some kind of balance between the right rhythm and the right amount of pressure. The skin surrounding the vagina and the vagina itself is really sensitive, especially during sex, so the wrong strokes will put her off in no time.
Pro tip: Start with just one finger and move your way up to two fingers as she’s getting more turned on. Move slowly while kissing her lips, making it more of a sensual experience, without the pressure of climaxing. Pay attention to her moans and body language and start to go faster and faster as she gets wetter.
2. You don’t consider lube
Not all women are naturally wet enough for fingering action, no matter how turned on they are. And if she’s not very wet, she’ll feel more pain than pleasure. If your thing is to get right at it without any warning or lube, you have zero chances of giving her an orgasm and every chance to annoy her.
Pro tip: Saliva isn’t always the best lube in the world because it can be quite acidic and besides the effect doesn’t last long. Always have some coconut oil on hand or even a water-based lubricant. Put in on your fingers before going inside of her – I promise her sensations will amplify instantly!
3. You only move up and down
You know how when she’s on top of you she tends to move more in circular motions than up and down like you tend to do? That’s because this type of pleasure really stimulates the nerve endings in the vagina’s wall, making her feel pleasure more intensely than you can imagine. The up and down movement also works when you penetrate her with your penis, which can reach the walls better, but not the same can be said about fingering. Maybe the movement of your fingers just doesn’t do it for her.
Pro tip: Draw an imaginary circle with your fingers inside of her vagina, making sure to reach her vagina walls properly. Experiment with more types of movements and see what she likes more.
4. You forget the clitoris
What’s fingering without stimulating the clitoris? Just like actual sex, fingering feels better when the clitoral area is involved because it helps her reach orgasm faster. Plus, it’s so easy to involve this area during finger play that it would truly be a shame not to spoil your partner.
Pro tip: Use your thumb to apply pressure on the clitoris while you penetrate her with your index and middle finger. If you want to make it next level, use your mouth at the same time. Lick and kiss her clitoris until she can’t take it anymore.
Hot kisses,
Gabrielle Moore
P.S. Your woman will crave fingering if you do it well – especially since not a lot of men have this skill. If you want to learn more, I recommend you check out my program on the matter – Flirting Fingers.
