Orgasm Confusion is Nothing New
Women having orgasms is not a new phenomenon. Unfortunately neither is women faking orgasms. Both have more than likely been around since the caveman days. Who knows if our Neanderthal brothers were as confused about female orgasm as modern day man, but one thing is for certain, for many men, female orgasm remains a mystery.
For you men, the process of arousal and orgasm is pretty basic. Arousal leads to erection. Erection, when you are lucky leads to stimulation and stimulation leads to ejaculation and orgasm. Then you fall asleep with a smile on your face right?
Women are a little more complicated which seems to sometimes freak you guys out. Women need different kinds of stimulation for different kinds of orgasm and sometimes we can keep having orgasms one right after the other. It can be like a roller coaster or a dead end depending on many factors.
For those of you who are looking for some 411 on female orgasm here are four interesting facts and tips that may help you better understand them and help keep your woman coming back for more:
Variety is the Spice of Life
The more variety in your sex life, the greater the chance she will have an orgasm. Women tend to have more frequent orgasms from different types of stimulation. Try oral sex before intercourse or better yet, try a vibrator. Also consider the psychological factor in having new sexual adventures. It can help break a couple out of the same old dull routine and that in itself can be very exciting. Think about having sex outside the bedroom. Try the shower or the kitchen table. Do the unexpected. What are you waiting for? Mix things up!
Where is Her Clitoris?
Hot off the research presses is the finding that women who have clitorises lower on their vulvas have an easier time climaxing from intercourse. This is because the friction of the penis in the vagina has an easier time rubbing against a clitoris that is closer. Women who have a clitoris up higher need more direct clitoral stimulation Makes perfect sense right? Since we all know women’s vulvas are as diverse as the stars in the sky, take a good look down there and see how far her clitoris is from her vagina. Obviously she will be able to tell you if she can feel the clitoral stimulation during intercourse but knowledge is power so don’t hesitate to educate yourself on your partner’s parts. It will help you determine if she needs some finger or sex toy action during intercourse or if you want to follow the always popular “Ladies First” rule about orgasm.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
As I said before, men are different when it comes to arousal and orgasm. Perhaps it is a big part of our evolution to help men be able to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Regardless, for women you must remember it is a marathon not a sprint. It can take women longer to become aroused, to be physical and mentally ready for penetration and to orgasm. Those are just the facts. A good lover’s job is to take those facts and apply them to their everyday sex life. Instead of rubbing her clitoris like you are trying to erase words on a piece of paper, try starting by touching her slow in gentle circles and then up and down. Slowly work down to her vagina and insert your finger and go after her G-Spot. Then go back up to the clitoris and pick up the pace and intensity. During oral sex do the same with your tongue, slow circles and then faster and more intense.
Expectations can lead to Disappointment
One of the most important things to remember about women and orgasm is that the more mental pressure you put on her to have one the less likely she is to have one. Guys, take it from me, there is nothing remotely sexy about a man asking you every 30 seconds, “Did you come? Did you come? Did you come?” Fact is, it is annoying and it makes women get so worried about whether or not they are going to have an orgasm they can’t focus on the moment and are afraid they will disappoint their partner. Then they fake it. Then the next time they have sex they are so worried they won’t orgasm after their partner thinks they did last time they fake it again. Thus begins an endless cycle. Try simply enjoying the moment and focus on giving her the best experience you can. Relax and the orgasms will come.