“I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a hot-gushing, butt-cramping, gut hosing orgasm” – Chuck Palahniuk
They did it with smoothies, they’ve done it with soup… now they’re doing it with orgasms. It’s time I give you the lowdown on this new type of orgasm.
If the thought of putting your genitals anywhere near a blender is making you do involuntary Kegels, I don’t blame you. But don’t worry – you’ll be pleased to hear there’s no machinery involved.
The blended orgasm gets its name from combining a C-spot and a G-spot into one giant Holy Grail of a climax. Now I’m sure this isn’t an entirely new discovery – there were no doubt Elizabethan-age women getting their kicks thusly – but by giving it a name, writing articles about it, and generally getting the word out there, more of us can hopefully get on the blended bandwagon.
Statistically speaking, a woman will probably have already experienced a clitoral (C-spot) orgasm, and hopefully many women also know the awesome power of a G-spot orgasm, not to mention how different they are. So, with that in mind, let’s skip ahead and discover how you can combine the two so that your partner gets what she deserves in the sack.
Before you go demanding one from your unsuspecting partner, have her try it out herself at first. It’s like cooking a new recipe – you’d taste the sauce before slathering it on the steak, right? She’ll need two hands… or a hand and a vibrator… or, if she’s very dexterous, she might be using one hand while texting with the other.
Here’s what she has to do: she should get cozy and stimulate her clitoris however she sees fit. Then, right before she hits XXX-town, she should move her administrations to her G-spot. She’s not sure where it is? There’s no other way to put this: she has to insert a finger and feel around. It should be on the front wall of her vagina and feel rough, like the roof of her mouth. She’ll know when she hits it – mostly because it’s amazing, but also because it might make her want to pee (this will pass). When she’s almost there, she should let her other hand (or vibrator) walk back to her clitoris. Boom – double or nothing?
Once she’s mastered the Lone Star (it might take practice), it’s time you get your hands dirty as well. Start off by propping her up with a pillow so her hips are elevated (very, very important). Then, after a little foreplay, you may enter. This works best if she has her lower legs hanging off the end of the bed with you standing over her. You should hit the spot instantly, but if not, she should tilt her pelvis higher to meet you. When things are cooking, stop. And then start up with the clitoris attention – alternate both fingers and penis moves until she’s a piece of gum ready to burst, then rock them in tandem for the big finale.
By now, you’re all, “Oh yeah, blended… We do that all the time. Yawn.” Which means it’s time to make like Curtis Stone and add a little extra spice. There are ways to bring the blend to almost any position you choose. What’s that? You like doggie-style? While she’s on all fours, she’s in Mother Nature’s version of the pillow tilt – everything’s already lined up for you erection to hit her G-spot, and you can reach round and stimulate her clitoris, too.
If she’s more of a woman-on-top type, try reversing it and have her straddle you backwards (this is to get the right angle going on). While riding you, she could also caress her own clitoris. Fear not, you’ll reap rewards, too. Because the blended orgasm means lighting a fire under two distinctly different areas of her anatomy, the extra effort slows the whole thing down and helps you last longer. Not to mention that feeling and watching her having the climax of her life will send you bonkers.
Have a sensual week,
P.S. Gosh, we learnt a lot in this story! Does anyone else need a nap?