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Have drunk sex sober

Female Orgasm

Have drunk sex sober

“Later I would come to believe that erotic ties were all a spell, a temporary psychosis, even a kind of violence, or at least they coexisted with these states.” – Lorrie Moore

A few drinks can make a Marnie in the street a Jessa in the bed. But sober sex, if done right, can feel tequila-crazy too (that’s a promise or next round is on me). After a glass of Prosecco, two glasses of wine, and a vodka soda (standard date-night drinking order), who hasn’t said something they would never say? Even shy girls go all “Smack my bottom and tell me I’m a bad girl!” – while assuming a very complicated, very unflattering position in bed. (No? Just me?) A little liquid courage goes a long way in terms of loosening inhibitions and giving women the body confidence of Kate Upton. A recent survey of 2,835 women from across Europe by international online dating service C-Date found that 50 per cent prefer to have sex while tipsy. Sex under the influence is often a little crazier, a little dirtier than what you get on your average Thursday evening. But the downside to a boozy romp is that it’s harder to orgasm. Alcohol slows a woman’s blood flow. That prevents blood from reaching the nerve endings in her clitoris – which has to happen in order for an orgasm to occur.

Not to mention, it’s all fun and games until you both wake up the next morning unable to remember your wild hookup. Or worse, you do remember and realize with horror that last night’s romp was sloppy rather that fun. So the question is, can you have the fun of drunk sex without actually drinking any alcohol? Yes, you can still get a little freaky, have a happy ending, and not want to crawl into a hole the next morning. Try these tips, and bottoms up (literally… depending on how you both feel about that, of course).

1)    Tease it out. Flirty banter over beers and a game of Big Buck Hunter, hips grazing as you push your way up to the bar, those hungry eyes… drunk sex is marked by a heated buildup that culminates in ripping each other’s clothes off, banging against furniture, and tripping your way to the bed. Cultivate that feeling of anticipation by planting a sexy seed. Whether it’s a look you give her in the pharmacy of a quick make-out in the hallway, do something that serves as the appetizer to a really wild (faux) waste-y sex.

2)    Create a (blurry) vision. When you picture a bar (a nice one, not your local watering hole), you probably see good-looking people rubbing elbows in an intimate, dimly lit space. That sets the mood for things to come… Bring that sexy, hazy feeling into your own bedroom with a red light bulb. As one reviewer on Amazon.com said, “Not much of a light source, but sets the tone in a dark room where you are enjoying anything that’s cool to do in a dark room.” That’s the kind of review that will make you click Add to Cart without thinking twice.

3)    Relocate. The novelty of getting it on in an out-of-the-ordinary space mimics the rush of alcohol-assisted sex. “I used to prefer drunk sex to sober sex, but since I’ve made the effort to have more sober sex, my partner and I have been trying it in the craziest places – like on top of a picnic table by the lake”, says Alex. “We replaced the adrenaline factor of getting drunk with the risk factor of getting caught.” If you’re a play-it-safe king of guy, do it in a different room of the house, in the shower, on the floor, or against the wall. Or try a hotel room – you’ll reap the novelty benefits without having to explain yourselves to an officer of the law while half-naked.

4)    Drown out awkward body noises. When you’re all liquored up, it’s easy to not give a damn. To channel that carefree attitude, create an environment where the sex sounds are not skanky. Music is a key part of that. Silence can be a scary thing, you hear the bed creaking or focus on the weird sex sounds your bodies are making. Drown that out with a playlist that makes you both want to move in a seductive way.

5)    Unleash the badass within. The whole point of drinking before sex is to help you let go of your inhibitions, so do something that signals to her and to your own brain that things could get a little out of hand. A few moves that work like tequila shots: a well-timed expletive (“that feels so good”, right as you enter her), your fingers on her arched back, or grabbing a tuft of her hair while you kiss her. Drunk sex is like really good cardio – you’re rolling around, flushed, sweaty, and out of breath. So initiate position changes to up the physicality. She may be surprised, but it will make her want to up the ante too. That’s how you get to unrestrained, unselfconscious sex – the kind that makes you see stars… without the rude hangover.

Have a sweet week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. It also helps to break out your night moves. There’s something about the middle of the night that feels illicit, so next time you wake up at 2 a.m. to pee, don’t go back to sleep – go to town on her instead.

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