“Happiness isn’t about the destination, but the journey.”
Did you know that women don’t think of foreplay as something you do before sex? For most women, foreplay is sex! If you rush through foreplay, you’re cutting out most of the fun for her, so take your time. Don’t think of foreplay as a chore, but as a sexual tour full of pleasurable surprises.
The Primary Rule of Foreplay
Foreplay is all about creating and building arousal, so when you’re trying to arouse your partner, keep in mind the main rule of foreplay: No genital contact! This rule might seem strange, but it makes sense when you think about it. If you “go for the gold” too fast, your partner won’t have enough time to become fully excited, and her body and mind won’t be ready for penetration. Instead of engaging in oral or hand play, try a few of these teasing moves.
As I’ve said, a woman’s brain is her most sensitive sexual organ. Before you even touch her, stimulate her mind by telling her how sexy she is and how much you love her. Knowing how special you think she is will excite her more than anything you do with your hands or body.
Talk Dirty to Her
After you’ve sweetened her up, get a little dirty. Unless she likes it, don’t use profanity or obscene language. Instead, tell her what you want to do to her or how excited you feel just looking at her. These kinds of comments will get her thinking about how good she’s going to feel when you make love to her.
Gently Touch Her
By “gently,” I mean just that. Foreplay is not the time for aggressive moves! Play with her hair or nibble her ear. Run your fingers over her arms and shoulders. Use your hands to let her know how arousing she is.
Kissing is vastly underrated, especially with couples who have been together a long time. But there’s no better way to communicate your desire and fuel hers by kissing her neck and lips. Start softly, and as things heat up, kiss her more deeply.
Give Her a Bath
One of my favorite sensations is having a man shampoo my hair and sensually wash my body. If your bathtub isn’t roomy enough for two, run a hot shower and step in with her. After you lather her up and rinse her off, she will probably do the same for you, ensuring you’re both squeaky clean before getting dirty all over again.
Women carry a lot of stress in their necks, backs and shoulders, which can make it difficult for them to relax during sex. Give her a gentle, thorough back rub, kneading out the knots in her upper body. If she’s amenable, use scented oil and continue massaging the rest of her body: her legs, arms, belly and buttocks. Leave her breasts and vagina alone for now—that part comes later!
Explore Her Erogenous Zones
Every woman’s body is a different map to pleasure. Although some erogenous zones are common to all women—breasts, neck and inner thighs—your partner may have a few other spots that need tantalizing. Explore her body with light, gentle caresses, paying careful attention to her response. If you happen on an area that makes her toes curl, you’ve struck gold!
Tease Her with Partial Penetration
When she’s breathing hard, flushed with desire and physically responding to your caresses, tease her by slipping the first inch or two of your penis in and out of her vagina and tickling her clitoris with the head of your penis. If she asks you what you’re waiting for, simply reply, “I’m waiting until you want to feel me inside you.”
Every woman is different, but a few moves are guaranteed to please almost every lady. As you engage her in foreplay, the most important thing to do is pay attention. If you notice something isn’t working, stop what you’re doing, and try something else. Seeming too persistent or giving her unwanted attention is the fastest way to kill the mood.
Once she’s become fully aroused, only then are you allowed to touch her genitals. Engage in manual play, oral sex or full penetration. Even if she doesn’t reach orgasm, she’ll have a wonderful time—and so will you!