“Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. ‘Yes’ is the answer.”
When we were younger, we believed some very foolish things about sex and our bodies. Remember the one about going blind if you masturbate? How about the belief that men with big noses also have big penises? Or my favorite, that women can get pregnant from kissing!
As adults, we know these myths aren’t true, but what you may not realize is that many of the ideas you might have about the female orgasm are also myths. When men come to me for advice about how to bring their female partners to climax, I’m always amazed at how much they need to unlearn. Let’s get started!
Myth #1 – Size matters
If you think your penis size has something to do with your partner’s ability to have an orgasm, think again! A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average length of an erect penis is 6.16 inches long and 4.84 inches wide. If you’re smaller than that, there’s no need for concern…only the first two inches of a woman’s vagina are sensitive to stimulation, so as long as you’re three inches long, your penis is plenty big enough. As the saying goes, it’s not the size of the tool, but the skill of the craftsman.
Myth #2 – A woman doesn’t enjoy sex unless she has an orgasm
Although the female orgasm is incredibly pleasurable, sex is, too. Think about how it feels when you stroke your penis. Feels good, doesn’t it? Likewise, a woman’s body responds to caressing, especially on her erogenous zones. Even if she doesn’t climax, your wife or girlfriend will enjoy the physical sensation of sex as long as you make sure to involve not only her body, but also her mind.
Myth #3 – There’s nothing wrong with faking orgasms
Wrong! If your wife or girlfriend consistently fakes orgasms, it means she’s lying to you on a regular basis. Whether the problem stems from psychological stressors, physical inhibitions or a lack of trust, faking orgasms indicates there’s a problem in your relationship. Talk to her about how important it is to you that she enjoys sex as much as you do and encourage her to help you find out what brings her to climax.
Myth #4 – Some women just can’t have orgasms
Statistics show that a small percentage of women have never had an orgasm, but there is absolutely no scientific evidence that proves that women are physically unable to have an orgasm. If your partner is having problems, she may have an emotional or physical block that prevents her from relaxing during sex.
Myth #5 – Women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse
We have Freud to thank for this bold-faced lie. He taught that women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. Then again, he also thought all women wanted a penis. Silly man! A woman’s sexual nerve endings are most concentrated in her clitoris, so naturally it can be easier—and often even more enjoyable—for her to have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
Myth #6 – Men just care about their own pleasure, not their partner’s
I certainly hope you don’t think this myth is true! Unfortunately, many women believe this misconception, which in turn prevents them from enjoying sex to its fullest. Make sure your partner understands that her pleasure is just as important as yours—if not more so!
Myth #7 – Most couples have great sex most of the time
If you’ve been dating a few months, you might be having incredible sex whenever you’re alone. But if you’ve been in a relationship for 20 years, you’re probably not spending ten hours a week making sweet love. In fact, it’s more likely that you and your partner enjoy brief sexual encounters only a few times a month. Relax. You’re normal!
Myth #8 – Sex is the most important thing in a relationship
Based on a variety of surveys and studies on relationships, approximately 20% of men believe that mind-blowing sex is “crucial,” whereas the other 80% look at it as “the icing on the cake” of a healthy relationship. Although sex is certainly important for building and sustaining a healthy, long-term relationship, both partners’ mental, emotional and spiritual needs form the foundation of lasting love. People thrive when their brains are stimulated, when they enjoy love relationships with others and when feel connected at a higher level. Sex is just gravy.
Now that you know about these common sexual myths, it’s time to do something about it. Talk to your partner and make sure she doesn’t believe in any of these misconceptions, either. Then get ready for some great sex!