Female orgasms can be very elusive, especially the penetrative kind during partnered sex. We automatically assume that when a couple gets together to have sex, that a woman should just “naturally” be able to come. But, this is not the case.
Find out about this myth and many more about female orgasms below, so you are armed with real knowledge to help her achieve amazing orgasms.
- Women Should Be Able to Orgasm via Intercourse
Like I said above, assuming that women can and should be able to achieve orgasm via intercourse is a myth. In fact, only 25% of women say that they can orgasm via penetrative sex with a partner.
Why is that so? Shouldn’t the male and female genitals fit together perfectly so both partners can get off?
Unfortunately, they don’t.
This is because, a woman’s biggest erogenous zone in her genitals is her clitoris. Seventy percent of women NEED clitoral stimulation to climax. But during penetrative sex, often, her clitoris doesn’t get enough (or any) stimulation, so she can’t get aroused enough to have an orgasm.
How can we remedy this?
Lots and lots of foreplay before actually having sex, so her clitoris gets very turned on. And, continue clitoral and other types of stimulation during penetrative sex, to assure she can reach orgasm. Also, if the man has lasting power, this can help a lot, as women can take up to an hour of stimulation before they actually come.
- If a Woman Doesn’t Orgasm, Something is Wrong With Her or She is Broken
This is a very hurtful myth. It was long assumed that if a woman couldn’t come during sex that there was something wrong with her, or that her parts were somehow broken.
Again, this is not the case.
Women just need a lot more time warming up than men do, and they need certain types of stimulation (clitoral) to get off. Assuming that there is something wrong with her, some women believe they will never get off, or that they need a magic pill or some kind of medical intervention to “fix” them.
But, women don’t always get off during sex, or even during good stimulation of her clitoris. If her mind is full or worries or concerns, she won’t be able to get aroused. This can have a huge impact on her being able to achieve orgasm.
She needs to learn about her erotic body and how to stimulate herself to orgasm, be in the right mindset, get plenty of foreplay and clitoral stimulation, breathe, relax, explore, and feel safe so she can open to the pleasures of orgasm.
- Women Can’t Orgasm Without a Skillful Lover
Having a skillful lover can help a woman to achieve orgasm. But, even the most skillful Don Juan will not get her there, if she doesn’t know how to get there herself.
The ability to orgasm is the responsibility of each individual, and you can’t make her or force her to have one. She needs to surrender to pleasure and allow herself to open, to get rid of her inhibitions and to know what gives her pleasure and communicate that with her partner.
She needs to learn, explore, what takes her over the edge, and then show you how to help her get there. Only then will she be able to find the secret to her own orgasmic blueprint.
- Vibrators are a Replacement for Men
There is a myth that vibrators can replace a man in the bedroom. This is simply untrue.
Women crave intimacy, love, romance, mental stimulation, suspense and companionship. A vibrator can’t give them all that.
What a vibrator can do, however, is help them reach arousal quicker and more frequently than other types of stimulation. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t still want you.
Think of a vibrator as a tool that can help you both give her orgasmic pleasure. You can use this on her during foreplay to help her warm up, or even during penetrative sex to stimulate her clitoris. Vibrators can be used on other parts of the body too, like the nipples, and even around the penis when used as a vibrating cock ring to give you more stamina and her more stimulation.
- Missionary is the Best Position for Having Sex
Missionary position doesn’t do much to stimulate her clitoris, so it is not the best position to get her off. Not that you can’t start there. But for gosh sakes man, change it up.
The best positions for her to achieve orgasm are Doggie Style, which helps to reach her g-spot better, and Girl on Top, which can help stimulate her clitoris.
So, don’t be afraid to experiment a little with different positions during sex and see what works to get her off. You don’t have to be an acrobat or a porn star to get into an orgasmic position. You just need to be a little creative and have the courage to try new things.
Go watch my video course on “Passionate Positions” to find new ways to have sex that will really get her off.
I hope this article has helped you bust some myths about female orgasm and learn real ways to help her get there. Both partners need to have an open mind, and learn to explore, play and make sex fun.