Welcome, sexy lovers to my latest article, where I will give you 5 sexy ways to help your woman come.
- You Can’t MAKE Her Come
Orgasms are like emotions. Just like you can’t expect someone else to make you happy, you can’t expect another person to give you an orgasm. This is especially true for women. You can’t MAKE her come, if she is not ready, willing and open to receiving pleasure and knows how to get there in the first place.
In other words, she needs to take responsibility for her own orgasm.
After all, men are not born with a woman’s genital anatomy, so how are you supposed to be an expert at this? And, despite what some people may think, we are not born knowing how to have sex and give pleasure, naturally. This is something we must learn.
Not only that, but every woman is different, and her erotic blueprint will vary depending on what she likes, what turns her on, the way her erotic body/mind is wired, her experiences and self-pleasure knowledge. So, what may work on one woman to help her reach orgasm, may be a total turn off to the next.
So, women need to own their sexual pleasure, learn to orgasm first via solo sex in order to find out what turns her on. Then she can communicate that knowledge to you.
Having said that, there are ways you can help facilitate her orgasms and pleasure by giving her a safe place to explore her sexuality and pleasure so she can open and completely surrender to you. This is a place where she trusts you totally, and knows that her vulnerability and boundaries will be protected. That means she doesn’t have to fear that if she opens up that she will be hurt, judged, or shamed, and she can totally trust you so she can unleash her feminine radiance.
Communication is the way we learn how to pleasure our partners. We need to find out first what we like, what rocks our boat, and then communicate that to our lovers.
You can encourage this by again making her feel safe, that you won’t judge her or make her feel ashamed of her sexual desires. Watch her body language during sex and encourage her to open up, to moan, to writhe, to tell you, yes, Yes, YES!, what you are doing is taking her over the edge. Ask her, do you like it when I touch you here? Do you like it harder, softer, faster, deeper, slower, more sensual…?
After sex, take the time to talk about the experience. Ask her what she enjoyed most or what pushed her over the edge, and what she didn’t like as well.
You can even ask her to masturbate in front of you, if she is game, to show you how she pleasures herself and achieves orgasm. This can be valuable knowledge that you can use later.
Remember, having sex together takes two, so sex is team work and honest, open and non-judgemental communication is a big part of that process.
- Take Your Time and Explore
Women often take a much longer time to get aroused and reach orgasm. With practice, knowledge and the right tools, some women can orgasm within a minute or two of arousal, but for most women arousal takes longer, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour.
So, take it slow and give her time to unwind from the day, to get rid of any stress in her body and get out of her head, so she can immerse herself in the sensations of her body.
Begin by creating a sensual environment to have sex in. Piles of dirty clothes or other distractions can take her out of her body and into her head, where she will have a hard time achieving orgasm.
Warm her up with a hot bath, sensual massage, slow dancing, or an activity she enjoys that helps her relax and become more sensual. Use lots and of lots of foreplay to get her fully aroused before you even start to have sex.
Women have just as much erectile tissue in her clitoris as a man does in his penis, but it is internal, so takes much longer to get aroused, for the blood to pump into her genitals and the tissue to become engorged, sensitive and aroused.
A woman is like a kettle of water, slow to boil, but stays hot for hours, whereas a man is like a match, quick to ignite, but soon fizzles out.
In many cases, sex between male and female lover lasts 2 to 7 minutes. So, is it any wonder that she doesn’t get off?
Men can also learn ways to prolong arousal, stay harder longer as well as semen retention techniques that allow you to last as long as you want, and to also experience multiple, as well as stronger orgasms.
- Erogenous Zones
If you don’t know it already, her clitoris is her biggest erogenous zone (except from her brain, of course). That is because the clitoris actually goes deep inside her genitals, under the skin, where it wraps around her urethra tube, forms her G-spot, surrounds her vagina and lies beneath the flesh of her vulva. So, all that area is a part of the internal clitoris and makes up the various erogenous zones within the female genitals.
So, when we talk about the G-spot, or the A-spot, or the U-spot, these are all extensions of the inner clitoris in some way.
The external clitoris, the little nub or head that sticks out beneath the clitoral hood is the most sensitive part of the clitoris. Often, this part needs lots of stimulation to get her to orgasm.
As a matter of fact, you have probably heard that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to climax, and only about 25% of women can achieve orgasm via penetrative sex. So, if a woman can’t orgasm via penetrative sex, it is not her fault, she is not broken, this is completely natural and they way her body works. Society, media and porn perpetuates the myth that women always orgasm during sex, or there is something wrong with them.
My point? Get to know her body, explore her erogenous zones and don’t forget her clitoris, especially during intercourse. Learning how to navigate her erogenous zones with help you help her achieve orgasm.
If you want to learn more about her secret erogenous zones, go check on my video course “Her Secret Hotspots”.
- Relax, Breathe and Focus on Sensation
One of the number one reasons women cannot reach orgasm is that she can’t get out of her head.
She may be worried about work, be stressed out, thinking about chores (yes, this happens!), or about not performing well in the bedroom, how she tastes, looks or smells, and whole bunch of other things. These can all interfere with her connecting to her body, and allowing herself to FEEL sensual, sexual, and open to sensations and pleasure.
The way to help her get out of her head and into her body, is first to relax which we talked about in “Take Your Time and Explore”.
Another way to learn to relax, is to practice deep breathing techniques. Just slowing down the breath and focusing on it can help her get more in tune with her body.
Once she becomes more relaxed and out of her head, she can start to focus on the sensations in her body: cold, warmth, touch, pleasure… the feeling of her breasts becoming full and her nipples becoming erect, her hips pumping, her clitoris and vulva becoming engorged… her breathing becoming more rapid and her skin becoming flushed, pleasure building in her genitals and moving that energy up her body… These are all ways she can focus on what she is feeling, so that she can build the erotic energy in her body to achieve orgasm.
Orgasms can start out feeling very subtle, especially vaginal orgasms, so she needs time to nourish the sensations her body is feeling and to allow them to expand into orgasm.
So, lovers, there are my 5 secrets to make her come. Remember, women need many things all working together to help her get over the edge and into orgasm.
Now, take what you have learned home, and into the bedroom, where you can practice with her and both become more orgasmic.