Hello Lover. Welcome back to my latest article about female orgasms. The “female orgasm” is one of my favorite topics, because at one time, orgasms were elusive to me. But, once I found out how to achieve orgasm I made it my mission to teach men, women and couples all over the world how to do it as well.
• Anorgasmia is an inability to reach orgasm and occurs in about 10% of women.
• 70% of women can only reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation and cannot reach orgasm via intercourse unless they have extra stimulation.
• Some women have orgasms, but they are less powerful than the mind-blowing ones we read about, so they are not even aware they have them.
The female sexual anatomy is very different from a man’s. It is hidden away under the labia, and the clitoris (what you can see of it) is very small. This means that many women don’t intuitively know how to pleasure themselves, or learn how to masturbate at a young age like men do. So, their own lack of knowledge about their own body may stop them from learning what type of stimulation they need to reach orgasm.
Women need to learn to masturbate and explore their sexual pleasure more. This is how she learns what type of stimulation gives her pleasure and leads her to orgasm, and, in turn, can guide her partner so he too learns what turns her on. In the past, many women were ashamed to masturbate and were told it was dirty. This terrible lie has stopped women from enjoying sex and sexual pleasure for centuries. Well, it’s time to put an end to that!
Sex, pleasure and orgasms are natural and healthy. Women need to reclaim their right to enjoy sexual pleasure and give themselves permission to become orgasmic.
It is not up to you to give her an orgasm. We are all responsible for our orgasms and sexual pleasure.
Things you can do to help include encouraging her to explore her own body and pleasure both solo and with you. Couples can learn a lot by practicing mutual masturbation together and its fun! Also, communicating about any sexual issues, guilt, as well as what turns us on is essential to a great sexual relationship. Ask her to tell you what feels good or what doesn’t during sex, and learn to become her expert lover as you explore together.
The brain is the most significant sexual organ and is responsible for desire. There may be many obstacles that prevent her from feeling desire. This includes her self-confidence and how she feels about her body image. When a woman feels sexy, she can get turned on much more easily. Also, many women think too much during sex and stay in their heads, rather than focusing on the sensations of arousal and being present in her body. And, finally, she may be stressed out, worried, fatigued or have negative emotions about your relationship. All these things can interfere with a woman’s level of arousal and her ability to let go during sex and enjoy pleasure.
Compliment her about her physical appearance and encourage her to “be” sexy. Buy her some sexy lingerie (or shop for it together!). Treat her to a spa experience or a make-over. Tell her how sexy she is and how much she turns you on, be authentic about it, and over time she will become more sexually self-confident, be able to appreciate her body better and feel more sexually empowered.
Help her to relax. Give her a bath, a sensual massage, pamper her and get her to relax. Plan a date night together so she doesn’t have anything else to think or worry about. During foreplay and sex, encourage her to focus on the sensations in her body. Again, tell her how sexy she is and how she is turning you on, how much seeing and feeling her orgasm really gets you off. The more relaxed and safe she feels, the easier it will be for her to get out of her mind and surrender to ecstasy.
Often, we don’t feel desire to have sex unless we have been aroused physically first. So, once the body becomes aroused, desire will follow.
It usually takes women much longer to become physically aroused. We saw many reasons for that above. Often, sex for couples, ends with the man ejaculating. But, the woman may be just beginning to feel strong arousal at that point.
Take your time to arousal her with lots of foreplay. Arouse her body and her mind. Make foreplay an important part of the sexual process, and not just a warm up. Explore all her erogenous zones starting at her head, face and neck with whisper strokes of your fingers, soft kisses and nibbles, and passionate kisses. Then work your way down her body until she is writhing with desire and orgasm is her only relief.
Try different types of arousal and sex and don’t stick to a regular routine. Spice up your sex life by talking about your sexy bucket list (sexual things you’d like to try together) and then start experimenting.
Start foreplay 24 hours ahead of the event. If you know you have a date night planned, start saying sexy things to her during the day and night beforehand. Leave her sexy notes. Compliment her on how sexy she looks. Give her quick passionate embraces and kisses. Smack her butt playfully, be intimate with her whenever you get the chance. All of this will get her turned on in her mind, so by the time date night comes, she is already half the way there. In fact, practice sensual foreplay whenever you can, and she will be much more willing to have sex with you any time and not just for date nights. Wink! Wink!
I believe every woman has the potential to become orgasmic and to enjoy sexual pleasure. So, nurture her and encourage her to open up that bud of desire and watch her flower into the beautiful blossom of sexual radiance that is possible for her.
With love and pleasure!