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What sex therapists wish you knew

Female Ejaculation

What sex therapists wish you knew

“I need more sex, ok? Before I die, I want to taste everyone in the world.” – Angelina Jolie

Despite the ladies from mega ‘90s girl bad Salt-N-Pepa encouraging us to talk about sex all those years ago, it seems most of us still stress about what happens in the bedroom. So I rounded up the biggest erotic questions still left unanswered in most guy’s agendas and tackled them. No secrets after reading this piece.

  1. “My girlfriend watches a lot of porn – is that normal for women?

There are many reasons why a woman might watch porn – she finds it arousing, she’s curious, she uses it to get off or just because she can. Who said women aren’t allowed to watch porn? You need to determine if the amount of porn she’s watching has a negative impact on your relationship and if she’s using it as a replacement for having sex with you. If not, don’t stress; she can watch all the porn she wants, as long as it’s you she’s coming home to. If you think she has an addiction, you need to go about it carefully. Make sure you don’t accuse or scold and be very cautious about using the word ‘addiction’ as this is a sensitive topic. You need to help her see it’s a problem before you try and solve it or seek professional help.

  1. “How much sex are other couples having?”

People’s sex lives ebb and flow around life circumstances like work, children or illness. The amount of sex that a couple has drops off after the ‘honeymoon period’ (anywhere from six months to two years). A recent study revealed that couples in long-term relationships were having sex about five times a month, and it’s a pretty scary number if you ask me. But don’t worry about other, worry only about what’s happening in your love life.

  1. “How can I ask for what I really want?”

The best time to tell your partner how you prefer to be pleasured is when it’s happening. Say, ‘I love the way you do that, especially when you go slower/faster”, or whatever it is that you prefer. We all feel vulnerable about our sexual performance, so always frame things positively. Ask your partner to touch your genitals and tell her that feels good as she’s exploring you. Most women want to find out what works for you, and they appreciate knowing what they’re doing right and how to do it better.

  1. “Is it okay to masturbate if I’m in a relationship?”

We all have varying sexual requirements. One partner may want sex every day and the other person may want it once or twice a week, so it makes sense for the first partner to self-pleasure. It’s also healthy to masturbate to get to know your own body and what stimulates it, and to understand how to respond to your own pleasuring. That way, when you’re with your partner, you can guide them to hit spots that they may not otherwise think to do.

  1. “Should we get a vibrator?”

Men and women shouldn’t be embarrassed to bring sex toys into the bedroom for both solo play and sex with a partner. Look for toys from reputable companies that are body-safe and made from 100 per cent silicone, 100 per cent elastomer or food-grade vinyl. A great option for couples is the We-Vibe 3, the most popular couple’s vibrator, which is worn while making love to provide intense pleasure for both you and her. The only downside of frequent vibrator use is that because your orgasms come so quickly, you may lose patience with your partner. Mix up your masturbation routine to teach your body new tricks.

Have a hot week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. When it comes to women, they’re mostly worried about low libido and not being able to orgasm during sex. Help her by putting her pleasure first.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Doug

    February 28, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Good questions and excellent answers. Thanks GM.

  2. Patrick

    February 28, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    I really enjoy al the suggestions you write about in terms of improving one’s sexual desires and pleasures. The techniques are very critical, a, many of us do not understand or know and often get frustrated.
    I have tried and did most everything you have said and taught in your videos and emails, but, I must say one thing I have not been successful at is giving her a squirting orgasm. Can you help me in doing so.

  3. Patrick

    February 28, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    What is it that I am not doing right to give her a squirting orgasm.
    It isgetting very frustrating. Can you tell me what is the missing piece to this puzzle ?

  4. Paul M.

    February 28, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    I have been married to my incredible wife for 18 years. We enjoy porn together and it is awesome. We both are able to let our minds wander together and fantasize while we are loving each other. We love to watch 3some & group scenes that involve a lot of women with women. It is completely arousing and satisfying for both of us. It also prolongs the sexual encounters we have for hours each time!! We completely understand each others sexuality and frequently talk about our fantasies and watch the porn that enables us to view it while enjoying each other.we incorporate the use of different toys to enhance our pleasure.It turns both of us on and we completely enjoy it!!

  5. Eric Grosch

    December 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    I am unaware of the way a so-called “squirting orgam” works. A man has a squirting orgasm because he has a prostate that contracts and shoots seminal fluid through the urethra, upon orgasm. The woman has no prostate and no seminal fluid. The only fluid that is likely to come from anywhere near her perineum is urine from her bladder, through her urethra, the opening of which is forward of her vulva. Please explain the squirting orgasm anatomically.

  6. Corey

    March 14, 2016 at 11:16 am

    Recently began researching squirting after seeing some fucking machine video and it seemed as though the sqirters were having more intense orgasms plus my partners pussy is always tasty so I aimed to give her one of these sqirtgasms, your site is the third lot of instruction and the have all been very similar in detail and method,we comunicate fairly well and although she had watch vids and new that I was trying as much for her as for me,sex got better but no sqirtgasms until last night not really trying however after some good oral and a real good pumping and knowing she had just had viginal orgasm I decided to pull out and employ the magic fingers and wow not only did she sqirtgasm but admitted that it was probably her most intense orgasm and that it was like two in one,she loved it I loved it and cannot wait to push it a little further for her multi squirtgasmic pleasure!she also said she kept feeling of orgasm for a good five or more minutes persistence and no pressure just emersion in whole session and one another’s enjoyment seemed to be the key,thanks for the tips and hope my message can be useful,Cheers quality fucking and mind blowing sensations body over!
    M

  7. Hot lips

    July 24, 2016 at 12:27 am

    How do I ask my boyfriend to help me have a squirtgasm? I love making him cum with massage oral and sex. He has not performed oral sex for me, seems he doesn’t like it. Any advice? I have a hard body and wear sexy lingerie and I initiate sex, I don’t know what i’m missing

  8. Vinnie K

    October 18, 2016 at 3:10 am

    The term “ejaculate” is not biologically accurate. Female ejaculate, is thin, not creamy, slippery, sweet, can even “trickle”, and comes from the Skene gland… At this moment, Google or locate where female Skene glands are. They should be anatomically to sides of urethra. Tiny, tiny, tiny holes.
    Any “ejaculate” secreted by a female via any method of attaining orgasm comes from there.

    20 years of biological samples of women squirters show Skene gland secretion becomes mixed (traces only) due to close proximity to urethra, if any at all.

    Peeing before sex is helpful but during sex, kidney function increases as does kidney and bladder retention when women (and men) lie down.

    At the end of the day, the aim of this particular G spot massage via applying stimulating pressure, throbbing, violent rubbing whatever, is definitely another way to achieve ejaculate from Skene gland, but but, but, combines the effect of squirting via FORCED confusion, tiring, fatigue to release the PC muscle (that which control urine flow) whilst the combined “bearing down” during orgasm is to achieve squirting urine, not ejaculate.

    For any women who have not yet experienced childbirth, women giving birth and bearing down involves pushing, urination and even feces. After childbirth however,women often feel euphoria which could be attributed to Skene gland release, containing happy endorphins Oxytocin (love hormone) and Serotonin (happy hormone) some of the same hormones as male ejaculate does.

    My experience with squirting began in 1976 via penetration. My lovers phalls was long and curved towards his body. Ergo,every stroke hit every button. Also note, areas front and back of the cervix are also orgasmic. Combining intense stimulation should produce release of ejaculate (properly,from Skene gland). The squirting of urine is part of letting yourself go physically. Let’s stop pretending we have magical unicorn equipment and ejaculate from the urethra. It sells. Sex is a big industry and men and women seem to be happy to pay for the biggest orgasm a woman can have. Forcibly making her pee. It used to be called Golden Showers (BDSM). The myth of squirting ejaculate sounds much better.

    I personally, don’t have any issue accepting facts. It has no bearing on whether the experience is enjoyable.

    There are sex toys women can use whilst masterbating to bring oneself to squirt.
    A “yonI egg” worn about three weeks trains the pelvic floor muscle. Knowing and feeling exactly where it is enables you to practice letting go on command — so as to urinate during orgasm. That’s the tough part. But violent massage towards helps the process along, for sure.
    Best wishes for a happy sex life!

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