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Pegging: What is it? And would you go there?

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Pegging: What is it? And would you go there?

“My apartment is my stage, and my bedroom is my stage – they’re just not stages you’re allowed to see.” – Lady Gaga

Sure, you love those awesome massages she gives you, and you’re putty in her hands when she makes you your favorite mean. But what if I told the real way to your heart was through your, er, butt? Turns out, some experts are touting pegging as the new frontier of sexual experimentation – and the kinkiest way to improve your relationship. Yes, pegging can do what no number or boys’ nights and blowjobs can: make you into a happier, more sensitive partner.

Switching up

So what’s pegging, you ask? Let’s shine a spotlight on the sex act you probably wouldn’t ask your mum for advice: your partner using a dildo to penetrate your anus. Regardless of gender, the butt is packed with sensitive nerves. For you guys have prostate – or the male G-spot – and stimulating that can seriously rock your world.

It feels totally different to vaginal intercourse, just as G-spot sensations feel different from clitoral sensations. Orgasms involving prostate play are describes as bigger, more full-bodied. It’s a totally different experience. In other words, it’s going to feel great for you. But what does your partner get out of this? Well, this is where it gets really interesting. It’s a commonly noted side-benefit that men who have tried penetration as the receiver often become better lovers. Once they explore what it’s like to receive penetration, they often have a much better understanding of how you can be really turned on and excited, and still need to go slowly. They say it’s like learning how to give a great massage by feeling what it’s like to have one yourself. A lot of men and their partners say the result is guys more attuned to their partner’s arousal, desire and readiness.

Smash the taboos

No amount of pegging is going to turn you from a douchebag into Boyfriend of the Year, but I believe it can shift your perspective for the better. Many heterosexual men who try it discover that ideas about how men are supposed to act or enjoy sex are getting in their way. In other words, straight guys might find they don’t have to be the dominator to enjoy sex – and enjoying anal sex from the other, ahem, end doesn’t magically turn them gay. The pleasure of prostate massage and pegging can be a powerful motivator to help them redefine what it means to be a man. That can help them let go of macho ideals that often get in the way of happy relationships. If you can get to a place where you feel secure in your masculinity and don’t feel like you need to shun activities for fear of appearing feminine or gay, that opens up new possibilities.

Eric tried it and lived to tell the tale. “It was weird, scary and incredible”, he reveals. “I’ve never had such a massive and firm erection… And being able to walk around and know most couples hadn’t done it made us feel like sexual mavericks, which was invigorating.” Lila gave pegging a go when her boyfriend wanted to try anal sex. “I figured if I was going to have something up there, he should feel what it was like too,” she says. “He freaked out, but when we tried it with a strap-on he enjoyed it, and I felt really powerful. But I think we’ll just stick to fingers from now on – I found it really hard!”

Many couples found pegging increased their intimacy. Any time you discover new pleasures to experience with a partner, it can increase connection. Whether it’s a dildo or dance classes, try something different.

Have a fun week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Use lots of lube and take it slowly, just like you would do if you were doing anal with her.

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