“If you like having sex while listening to music – always choose a live album. That way you’ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.”
Too wiped to do it after a long day of doing, well, everything else? Here are seven easy ways to get in the mood.
Dress to impress… yourself
When you start your day by slipping on an outfit that makes you feel sexy, your brain realizes you’re prepping for what scientists call a “mating opportunity” and begins pumping the pleasure hormone dopamine into your bloodstream. The secret? It’s not just about attracting someone – real sexiness is the total confidence that can make you feel smarter, funnier and better in every area of your life. Strive to be a bit more like that and you’ll see that your sex life will change for the better as well.
Do your “choreplay”
That would be the dishes, the laundry… It may sound silly, but leaving household tasks undone can add to your stress load – and according to research from the University of Texas at Austin, chronic stress and anxiety can dampen your body’s arousal response by up to 30% even when you want to be turned on. If you are really stressed out and doing the dishes no longer cuts it for you, take an art class or book a last-minute weekend getaway. Why is getting out of town helping you? Because novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac. When you live in the moment, anything is possible – and that’s exciting, and sexy.
Switch on your senses
Your mouth is an easy to stimulate erogenous zone. I’d suggest gently teasing your lips with your fingers throughout the day, imagining your fingers are your partner’s lips. Also, after a hot shower, massage your body with that great smelling lotion your partner swears by. Or have her give you a relaxing neck rub. Brushing your skin with a soft brush every morning when you wake up might help as well. Natural health advocates believe that dry brushing reduces toxins and sloughs off dry skin, making you feel more refreshed and thus more ready and energized.
Take a lunchtime yoga class with your partner
In a Korean study, women who did yoga for 12 weeks reported easier arousal and better lubrication, on average, than those women who didn’t do exercise. Yoga can increase blood flow to both a woman’s and a man’s genitals, while cultivating mindfulness can help you be more in the moment during sex. Also, if you’re thinking about having sex tonight, wear a shirt to work. This way when you get back from your job and your partner is helping you unbutton it things will naturally turn into a striptease as she lingers over each button.
Find literary inspiration
Dipping into the latest bodice-ripper during a break on your commute home gets your brain and body ready for sex. For a red-hot library, log on to obooko.com, which lets you download as many free romance e-books as your um, heart desires. To amp it up, read it in your lunch hours, at the café where you eat your sandwich. Just knowing that you’re reading something risqué in public is sure to give you a teeny confidence boost. Plus, erotic novels will give you ideas. You are bound to respond to stories that fire up your imagination.
Chow down on libido boosters
Salmon, spinach and nuts all contain arginine, which increases blood flow, nutritionists say. Wine helps too: Italian researchers found that men and women who drank one to two glasses of red wine reported higher levels of sexual desire and vaginal lubrication than those who didn’t have any at all or had more than two glasses of wine or other alcoholic drinks. And nibble on chocolate for dessert: it stimulates the release of endorphins.
Get steamy in a hot shower
The heat will improve circulation and relax your muscles. It also brings blood to the skin’s surface, which will make it more receptive to touch. If you’re enjoying a hot shower together, how about not having sex right then and there and just… flirt! Honestly, when was the last time you really doted on your woman? Forever ago? Well, pretend she’s a new fling and chuckle at her jokes, suggestively touch her knees and make sexy comments. You’ll feel confident – the way you did when you first started dating.
Have a sexy week,
P.S. Get closer! Snuggling prompts the release of the love hormone oxytocin.