“Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.” – Jimmy Dean

Getting her turned on can be a lot trickier than flicking a mental switch. My tips will help you put her in a randy mood. One of the best finales to a woman’s day is a sack session. But even if she’s craving nooky, it can be hard to transition from work more to sex mode. Men have a biological ability to zero in on a task and block out all else, whereas women often find it difficult to disengage from job responsibilities and get aroused. That’s why you may be ready for action way before she’s reached a boiling point. Try these moves (one or all!) to help her reach a sexy frame of mind by the time she gets together with you.

Step 1. Build up some x-rated anticipation. Set the stage for lust as soon as her workday ends by calling her to tell her you can’t wait to see her. This reorients her mind towards you. Plus, knowing that you’re looking forward to your evening together will amp up her excitement too.

Step 2. Just relax. A key element of turning herself on is tuning in to how her body feels. Go for a walk together and notice the way your feet touch the ground at the same time and the sensation of the wind on your skin. Help her take in every sound, sight, and scent. Or simply invite her to stretching her arms and legs when she gets home. Women build up tension during the workday that can impede arousal.

Step 3. Take a steamy shower. Stepping into a cascade of H2O has a slew of passion payoffs. The heat calms her and soothes her muscles, and feeling clean can boost her sexual confidence because she won’t worry she smells less than fresh. Showering is also a mental cue that signifies she’s washing away stress. Massage in shower gel using a loofah to stimulate her skin. And have her angle her body so the stream of water lands on her below-the-belt bits, allowing her to enjoy the erotic sensation. After toweling off, rub on a lotion scented with vanilla (which many people find sensual) or jasmine (which is thought to trigger the release of endorphins).

Step 4. Set the mood. To create a romantic ambience in your pad, dim the lights or use candles, and have her recline on a bed, couch or armchair. Her posture has probably been rigid for hours. Now it’s time to completely let go. Have her close her eyes and breathe deeply. This increases blood flow, speeding up arousal. With each inhalation, she’ll imagine sensual vibes entering her body; as she exhales, she’ll envision stress exiting.

Step 5. Savor her. Acknowledging the sparks between you has a powerful erotic impact. As soon as she walks through the door, check her out from head to toe, and then give her a lingering smooch. Kiss for at least three seconds. It’s just long enough to establish a romantic dynamic and feel very connected. Booty bonus: your saliva contains testosterone, which can transfer to her while making out and jack up her libido.

Step 6. Thrill her taste buds. Pour her some vino; it relaxes her and feels so elegant to sip from a delicate wineglass. (Heads up: more than one glass can dampen lust.) Also, sample small portions of intensely flavored foods – an exotic cheese, spicy chorizo, a piece of good quality dark chocolate – to fire up desire. Stimulating her taste buds has a domino effect that engages all her other senses. If you’re having dinner, sit side by side instead of facing each other. You’ll subconsciously become extra aware of your chemistry. That may lead to your skipping dessert in favor of heading to the real treat of the night.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Surprising libido lifter: the odor of a chemical in male sweat can amp up arousal. So give her a long hug.

“My reaction to porno films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first twenty minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.” – Erica Jong

Experts say that your seemingly harmless habit could wreak havoc on your sex life. Here, damage control. With so many countless free sites streaming smut to smartphone at 4G speed, it’s hard for a guy not to watch porn these days. But while some men are capable of using it in a non-destructive way (every once in a while or for a little inspiration during a solo session), watching too much can lead to problems in the bedroom.

As guys are exposed to virtual sex more and more, their desire for their partner may decrease. Read on to find out if porn is negatively affecting you and, if so, how to help yourself refocus on offline thrills.

1)    Too much of a new thing.

You’d think that seeing so many chicks over-enthusiastically giving a man oral onscreen would translate into a walking erection when you’re present with the real thing. But weirdly, experts say it doesn’t work like that. That’s because guys are turned on not only by the sex itself but also by the fact that they’re constantly seeing new people doing new stuff. When a man sees a woman naked for the first time or views a new sex act, his brain releases more of the pleasure hormone dopamine that when he’s checking out someone or something he’s seen before. Unfortunately, the more porn you watch, the more likely it is to lead to something scientists call arousal addiction – when sexual excitement is only possible if you feel you are somehow topping what you’ve been exposed to in the past. You can become so hooked on the novelty factor that it’s harder for you to get and maintain an erection when you’re looking at something familiar… like your partner, for example.

2)    A tricky topic.

If your equipment has been faltering lately and there is no other likely cause (illness or new meds, you are unusually stressed, your relationship is going through a rocky phase), porn could be the culprit. You may be suffering from arousal addiction, or an a physical level, frequent masturbation may have trained your penis to respond only to one type of manual stimulation. Guys often touch themselves using more friction and physical pressure than intercourse provides. If a man masturbates too often, normal sex can dampen his libido, make it harder for him to reach orgasm, even fail to satisfy him. Since you might not have realized that there’s a link between your eye-candy habit and your performance in the bedroom, this may come as an enlightenment. Indeed, porn may actually make you less horny. It’s really surprising how it can mess up with your mind.

3)    Revving up your reality.

Once you know about the boner-killing potential of porn, work on a solution together with your partner. Make a plan to amp up your sex lives as a duo. Cut back on the porn a bit, and in the meantime, brainstorm new moves to keep things fresh in your bedroom. Anything that surprises you visually will help – such as lingerie that looks nothing like what your partner usually wears or a sex position that gives you a completely unexpected view. Role-playing is another great way to add sexy novelty as you shake off some of the potential negative effects of porn, which could happen immediately or take as long as two weeks if you need to readapt to the friction and sensations of real sex. Getting back to a place where you are both completely stimulated and satisfied will take some work, but it will definitely be worth it.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. PornHub, the most popular adult-video site has an estimated number of 15 million monthly visitors. A bit high, don’t you think?

“Any problem, big or small, always starts with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” – Emma Thompson

You’re angry with your partner and want to reach for your mobile. Don’t! It can do greater harm than you realize. When your partner does something annoying, such as cancelling dinner plans 20 minutes before you’re supposed to meet, it’s natural you’ll want to call her out on it. So you should send her a quick text message explaining why you didn’t like that, right? Actually, no.

If your ultimate goal is to keep your relationship in a good place, you’re better off stifling that urge. Texted words come through in a vacuum. You have no idea how the other person is reacting, and before you know it that message snowballs into a text war. That means you standing still in the middle of a street/store/party sending and receiving the kind of texts that can and will be used against you in countless future, love-killing fights.

Face-off

The communication handicap that comes with texting is even bigger than you might imagine. You’re getting three times less information texting than in a face-to-face conversation. You can’t see facial expressions, hear tone of voice, or watch body language. As a result, communicating can get really messy – and mean. After all, it’s a lot easier to go below the belt when you don’t have to witness your girlfriend’s gutted response. And it’s also harder to tell if you’re about to cross that line in the first place.

When you’re in the same room, you can see her physically bracing for what you’re going to say, and that clues you in that you’re about to go too far. But you don’t have that kind of a built-in safeguard with your smartphone. And after you go there, even a well-timed “Damn you, autocorrect!” won’t make her forget.

Lost in translation

To complicate the situation, the way your brain processes text messages (when both writing and receiving them) escalates an argument exponentially. When you text, you’re activating the more logical part of your brain; when you speak, you’re using more emotional circuits. So even when you’re writing a text that’s intended to be loving or remorseful, it’s naturally going to come across a bit cold and detached when she sees it in type. On top of that, our brains are wired to read only a part of a message, not the whole thing, which causes us to jump to conclusions.

It goes back to how we learnt to read as kids. Your brain automatically groups words together so you can expect what the next word will be. So instead of carefully scanning the message, your eyes dart to a few key words, and your mind fills in the rest. And even if you do read every word, you can still interpret a text countless ways, causing a perfect storm of miscommunication.

Get to the make-up sext

So how do you keep things from getting out of hand? Go ahead and send your partner a text when you’re miffed, but make sure it says only this: “Hey, when can I see you?” Don’t hint at what’s making you angry – doing so will only start the snowball rolling. This way, you’re just letting her know that you want to connect in person.

If you’ve already exchanged a few hatred lines, delete the conversation. Otherwise, it’s too tempting to eyeball the texts again and again in the future, or dredge them up as ‘evidence’ when you’re talking things through (which will only fan the flame). Deleting the convo from your phone won’t completely delete it from your memory, but it will make it easier to move on.

Have a beautiful week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. You’ve been hate-texting so much you suddenly realize you’ve just leveled up on Angry Birds? Put the phone down now!

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K. Rowling

It’s the threesome no one wants: woman, man and therapist. But what really goes on behind closed doors? If you watch enough romantic comedies, you would be led to believe that couples therapy is basically all about a non-judgmental shrink, a nondescript couch and a whole lot of as yet unarticulated feelings flying around. Instead of relying on the Hollywood version of these proceedings, I asked a real-life pair to share exactly what goes on when the venting starts and whether it’s worth undergoing couples therapy when your relationship collides with a major speed bump.

The Couple: Steve and Paula have been together for 10 years. When their fighting intensified, they did an eight-week therapy program.

What Paula says…

“I definitely felt like our relationship needed help, so I was keen to start going to counseling. I wanted the chance to have conversations with Steve that we didn’t get the time for or we didn’t know how to have without someone mediating. I’d done some counseling on my own in the past, so I had some idea about what to expect, but I think Steve was pretty wary about the whole thing.

I was most worried about bringing up stuff I’d never talked about before and things that might upset Steve. I was also nervous about him being open to the process because there isn’t much point doing this unless you’re both into it.

The first couple of sessions were quite intense. Steve found them really challenging, but after that we eventually got comfortable talking about things. I found it useful that every session had a particular purpose. We weren’t just talking aimlessly about nothing. We’d have homework to do after each session, the results of which would be discussed at the next one. Steve got really into that. I think he liked having something practical to do, whereas I found it quite difficult because I would much rather sit around and talk about our issues. But I always looked forward to the sessions and actually quite enjoyed them while we were there.

I’m not sure how long our relationship could have kept going on the way it was: it certainly wasn’t in a healthy place. But now we are much better at talking about how we feel. We still argue, but we now know how to sort those arguments out. I’m grateful that we went to therapy. I think it’s better to try it before things get so bad that they become irreparable.”

What Steve says…

“I wasn’t planning on going to couples therapy, so it definitely took me a while to warm to the idea when Paula initially suggested it. I don’t find it easy talking about my emotions and opening up about things. Looking back, this was a good reason to go to therapy in the first place, but I was nervous and skeptical about the whole thing. I was worried they would say, ‘You two are completely incompatible. You shouldn’t be together and that’s our conclusion.’ John, our therapist, was quite honest about that; he admitted that the outcome may be that we shouldn’t be together, which was obviously tough to hear.

The first few sessions were difficult for me because I was asked to discuss our issues. Discovering what had been upsetting Paula for quite some time wasn’t particularly nice. There were moments when I wanted to interrupt and defend myself, but John monitored and limited that behavior.

One of our key issues was that we would fight all the time. John gave us tools, tips and techniques to try to limit that. We had to learn how to have a conversation in a more structured way rather than just screaming at each other. After a few weeks, this new way of speaking to one another became our normal way of communicating. Although couples counseling obviously focuses on the relationship, I feel like I benefitted greatly from it personally. I’m a much happier, more positive person now and Paula and I still practice some techniques we learnt in therapy. We are in a much better place.”

What the psychologist says…

“Couples should seek counseling when they realize that they are unable to change their long-standing problems on their own. They need to both be motivated to work on issues and be willing to learn to do things differently. There are a range of techniques that couples learn in therapy that deal with communication, supportiveness, intimacy and goal-setting. A psychologist helps a couple focus on solutions moving forward rather than dwelling on the past. The key question couples should think about is, ‘How do you want to do it differently from now on?’. Some couples will break up. However, if it’s not too late and couples are open to change, therapy can result in individuals breaking destructive patters and learning new skills that improve their overall levels of relationship satisfaction.”

Of course, every couple is different and what works for some, may very well not work for everybody. But whatever gives you the chance to open up to your problems in a neutral and constructive environment is bound to help, so don’t brush therapy off if you feel like your relationship is going to a rough patch.

Have a quietly happy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist, find a close friend who can work as a mediator between the two of you.

“Once the buttons are undone, you know how it will all end. It’s all in the game, there are no miracles.” – Gao Xingjian

There’s only one thing that can soup up your sex life: it’s either a) a pleasure-seeking centaur woman named Xena-the-sex-addict, who roams the land eating oysters for breakfast, or b) you. If you said “a”, congratulations, you’re the one lucky guy in a million. But if you said “b”, you’re correct! You have to rig up those bedroom fireworks by yourself. Well, almost by yourself. Because I’m here to lend a helping hand as well – and like a sex-connaiseur superhero who travels the globe in online form, it’s my job to save the say. Or night.

Sex is most fulfilling when you have an open dialogue with your partner – but I know actually starting that conversation  is easier said than… said. So, to give you a superior leg over, here are four questions to ask your lover. Clear your schedule, is question time in the bedroom!

1)    What’s on your rider? Britney Spears has Doritos and chicken wings on hers, but you get one too. What’s on your sexual rider? Condoms, lube, exclusivity, handcuffs? Discuss who’s bringing what to the table. Everyone’s definition of a committed relationship and birth control differs, so make sure you’re on the same page to avoid being left high, dry and disappointed.

2)    What boils your potatoes? It’s amazing how hard it is for people to be honest about their fantasies. But brainstorming them with your partner is better than just springing one on her in the bedroom. Be open to her thoughts, too. Discuss what you’re game for, or any baby steps you might require. Remember, though, boundaries aren’t just for fences – only do what you’re both down with.

3)    Who’s behind you? Most people’s sexual past reads like a Dickens novel: skeletons, ghosts, mysteries! You don’t have to know where, when and who with, but it’s wise to share the basic details of your history. Remember that when you have sex with someone, you are also having sex with everyone they’ve had sex with – like a giant orgy. If you’re not comfortable enough with her to have a chinwag about STIs, you shouldn’t put your hot dog in her microwave unless it’s under hooded protection.

4)    How’s your schedule? It’s not unromantic to pencil her in – it’s ingenious. Would you ever go on holiday without planning ahead? Even fun times need a blueprint. That way, you’ll know what’s looming. Think of it like claiming a tax refund – have the fun is imagining how you’ll spend it.

Now that you have an arsenal of stimulating questions, go forth and use them wisely. Because it’s your sex life; if the fireworks are fizzling, the onus is on you to turn that sucker around. And may the honest chitchat and mind-blowing pyrotechnics be with you! Virtual superhero, over and out.

Have a hot week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Don’t be the only one asking all the questions. Encourage your partner to follow your lead by ensuring her you’ll be just as supportive and understanding of her needs as she is of yours.

“Humans are the only animals who can have sex over the phone” – David Letterman

It will check your Facebook and book you a holiday. Now your mobile can give you an orgasm and a better sex life, too. Your smartphone is 2012’s answer to the Rabbit, and it’s about to revolutionize how you have sex. From apps that show you what to do with your partner when you are both naked, to online sex shops, this is the future of your love life.

Your phone as a… Sex Coach

You’ve got your woman, now what? How about free app Adult Truth or Dare, which asks questions such as, “What girl here would you most like to cover in honey and lick from head to toe?” and dares like, “Lose three items of clothing (shoes and socks don’t count).”

It’s great to play with your partner, all psychologists agree on this. It teases out stories you’ve never heard before, and builds sexual suspense. And since you can also add your own questions and dares, you can sneakily personalize it to get whatever else you want, for example a massage or the blowjob of your life.

But why stop here? No matter how good you think you are in bed, you can always get better. The free Android apps that contain sex tips for couples can teach you a thing or two or, better yet, you can use your phone to log onto gabriellemoore.com to fill in the blanks, sex wise, and find out tricks on what to do or say to always keep your partner satisfied, including reminders of what she needs in bed, like ego boosting compliments.

 Your phone as an… Erotic Read

Women take 20 minutes longer than men to get aroused, you know that. Moreover, the female mind gets more fired up reading a story and having to work to visualize the scene, than by passively watching porn. So get a head start by reading together a racy book before you hook up. Literotica.com has thousands of free erotic stories. Pick whatever tickles your fancy, from first-time flings to sci-fi sex. At cliterati.co.uk real people post their own fantasies- you can even have a go at writing a few yourselves. Start stoking her fire by sending her a message with a story you think she might like so you’re perfectly in sync by the time you both get home. Her libido is like a muscle that grows bigger when you flex it – so the more she thinks about sex, the more she’ll want it.

Your phone as a… Libido Stroker

While you’re teasing yourselves with a few sexy scenarios, get even more excited by starting a saucy photo shoot (don’t do anything dodgy with the photos though, otherwise she will never agree to do it again). Up the tension by taking photos of your partner at various stages of a striptease, she’ll feel sexier and more desired seeing you get constantly harder and wilder at the view of her gorgeous body. On a side note, I cannot stress more the importance of… viewer discretion. When you take naked pictures of either your partner or yourself with your phone, store the images in a password protected “secret” folder. Also, think carefully about who you send them too. Once they’re released into cyberspace, they become the property of the recipients to do with them as they please. And if you’re someone who continuously misplaces his phone, step away now!

Your phone as a… Pocket Kamasutra

Sex Positions #2 is a free Android app on Google Play that suggests 140 sex positions for daring couples – and it’s accessible online. For iPhone users, try Art of Sex, which not only features sex positions but also a game of dice – so you can leave it up to fate to decide how your night plays out.

Have a spectacular week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Some might go as far as considering using the “vibrating” powers of the phone as well. My recommendation: don’t go there. For that kind of below the belt job, use a real vibrator. It’s cleaner and… more effective.

You may have noticed that Tantric sex is getting a lot of attention these days. It seems everywhere you look there is a book or television show about it. Yet, despite its popularity many people do not know what Tantric sex is or understand all that is encompasses.

Tantric Sex is not Like Regular Sex

Tantric sex is different than most other types of sex because it is focused on more than just orgasm or pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of pleasure to go around when practicing Tantric sex and people who practice it report having the most intense orgasms of their lives. However, Tantric sex is more of a philosophy and way of life that takes you on a path of enlightenment and on this path of enlightenment people can experience a new level of sexual pleasure.

What is This Enlightenment and Energy?

The practice of Tantric sex is believed to be over 5,000 years old. It comes from Eastern philosophy and is a spiritual practice that people apply to all areas of their lives. The purpose of the spiritual practice of Tantric sex is to achieve enlightenment and in Tantra the highest point of enlightenment comes from a sexual union. The peak of spiritual awareness comes from sex and orgasm. The male energy is called Shiva and the female energy Shakti and sex is a merging of these two energies.

Guys, if you are thinking about trying Tantric sex to take your lovemaking to a new level then here are a few tips to get you started:

A Happy Space is a Sexy Space

Tantric sex starts with establishing a sacred space for your lovemaking. You do not have to spend a lot of money redecorating. It is what is in you and your partner’s mind, sight, hearing, touch and smell. Use all your senses. Try a taking a bath together with lavender. Lavender relaxes the body and mind. Light some scented candles and put some really nice sheets on your bed. You want to create a calm and romantic environment. Clear away all the clutter in the room and find some slow music that will help you both relax.

You also want to create a private environment without interruption or distraction. Shut off your landline, cell phones and televisions. It is impossible to concentrate on each other with all that technology beeping and ringing all the time. Your sacred space is just that, sacred.

It’s All About the Breathing

One of the most important aspects of Tantric sex is the breathing. Remember you are trying to merge your energy and become one. Becoming aware of your breathing is crucial in Tantra. You want harmony so you can be in sync with your partner. Sometimes it takes relearning how to breathe. Take deep breaths and cleanse your body. Have you ever watched a baby breathe? They don’t hold their breath and it is completely involuntary. It is only as we grow and learn behaviors that our breathing changes and we learn to hold our breath in. To practice Tantric sex this has to be unlearned.

One easy thing you can do to work on your breathing with your partner is to try to yab-yom position. Have her straddle your lap so you are facing each other. While she inhales, you exhale and vice versa. As she exhales, take in her breath through your whole body and as you exhale try to give your energy with your breath to her. Strive for a natural rhythm.

Look Her In The Eye

Another fundamental skill you must master to start practicing Tantric sex is eye contact. When was the last time you kept your eyes open during sex? Couples usually close their eyes during lovemaking thinking it helps them connect but actually it helps them disconnect. It can be difficult to do at first so start with loving glances and increase the time you spend making eye contact.

Next time you are touching your partner’s genitals, instead of closing your eyes or looking at her genitals, look into her eyes. Next time you are touching her anywhere, look into her eyes. Look into her eyes and touch her. It may be uncomfortable for her to keep her eyes open at first too but give her loving encouragement. The more you can keep eye contact the deeper you will connect. It may not be something you can conceptualize right now, but when it happens you will feel it, and that deeper connection is the start of Tantric sex and greater sexual pleasure.

Stay tuned for more tips to help you on your journey to sexual enlightenment.

“Blake said that the body was the soul’s prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the “windows of the soul”. When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experience.”- Jim Morrison

You can count your senses on one hand, but there are limitless ways to use them to turn up the bedroom heat. You rely on your senses to help you savor a delicious meal, sniff out a fabulous new fragrance, and feel the quality of a cashmere sweater. But you probably didn’t know you can use these perceptions to enhance your pleasure. Fact is, the more senses you engage, the more amazing sex becomes.

Unfortunately, most of us tale the senses for granted because we use them all day in nonsexual situations. Well, that ends here. I’ve mapped out ways to reap the carnal rewards of sight, smell, touch, taste and sound. Bust them out during foreplay, the main event and beyond for thrilling new tantric sensations.

1. Sight.

The human brain only needs three seconds to process images- so arousal can spark in the blink of an eye. Guys rely on visual clues more than women do because your other senses aren’t as nuanced as ours. You’re also left-brain oriented, so you’re more stimulated by shapes. Make the most of your partner’s immediate sense with these eye-popping tricks:

• Before you do something to her (sucking her finger, stroking her scalp), do it to yourself. Not only are you priming yourself for pleasure, you’re creating anticipation for her.

• Focus intently on her body and down-there area. Then look up and give her a knowing smile. This broadcasts that you’re fully absorbed with her body- and feeds her ego, making her de-stress about the imperfections or irregularities of her body.

• No matter the position, lock eyes with her. If you’re entering her from behind, have her turn to meet your gaze mid-thrust and sweeten the visual pot. It sends the message that you’re really into her and keeps your arousal high because your partner is mirroring her desire back at you.

2. Smell.

Smell mainlines into the area of the brain that controls memories. That’s why we can recall smells with 65 percent accuracy after a year, while visual recall of photos sinks to 50 percent after three months. Keep this sense up to snuff by treating each other to new scents in unexpected places.

• Pick a scent that relates to a hot memory- light a pine candle in honor of that romantic night you spent together in the woods or a tropical jasmine scent to evoke that steamy vacation in the tropics. Speaking of candles, be sure to invest in quality wicks. Bonus tip: soy-based candles release a purer aroma than those made from wax.

• Wear the same scent each time you have sex with your partner for the next 30 days and have her do the same. By month’s end, you’ll both associate these perfumes with passion.

• According to a study from the University of Pennsylvania, we’re able to smell better the more we sniff. Alternate your breathing by taking short inhalations of the smells around you- the deliciousness of her skin, the fine scent of her hair- followed by long, slow ones. This makes the scent linger longer in your mind.

3. Touch.

Studies show that massages, either erotic, or quasi non-sexual, reduce stress and transmits feel-good vibes all over your body, creating a stronger sense of closeness and emotional connection.

• Have her straddle you during sex. With legs interlocked and arms embraced, you’ll cover more tactile territory.

• To sharpen your tactile abilities, try closing your eyes and writing with your non-dominant hand or feeling the nubby texture of an orange. Take your newfound abilities to bed and treat her to a long session of “finger-mapping”.

• The more subtle a touch, the better, studies show. So caress her body over her clothes. The feel of your fingers and palm together with the softness of the fabrics will create extra arousal for your partner.

4. Taste.

The human tongue has 10,000 taste buds, and stimulating those bumps sends signals to the brain’s pleasure center. Taste and sex go hand in hand, since they activate the part of the nervous system that controls relaxation.

• Keep your taste buds alert by experimenting with new flavors. There are amazing exotic fruits that many people have never tried- star fruit, persimmon, pomegranates. Not only are they fleshier and more evocative of sex, but they’ll stain your lips an alluring reddish hue.

• Nibble on each other’s lips and ears. Note the differences between body parts: how the inside of the arm is salty and the small of the back is sweeter.

• Research out of the University of Wisconsin found that taste buds alone do not determine what something tastes like; expectation plays a big role. So imagine that you’re sucking on your favorite ice-cream during oral sex and she’ll taste even more delicious.

5. Sound.

With aural sex, less is more. Our brains like to analyze sounds, which can be distracting in bed.

• Women are turned on by hearing their name. Say her name during sex, varying the pitch, tone and volume.

• Whisper in her left ear. A study from Sam Houston State University found that women are able to recall more than 70 percent of emotional words like “kiss” and “passion” with their left ear, compared to 58 percent with the right. Why? The left ear is controlled by the emotional part of the brain.

• Play music with a steady bass line, which echoes heartbeats and can be highly arousing. Pick songs that you both love, so you won’t be distracted, and keep the volume set at its “sweet spot”: not too loud or soft.

Have a sensual week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Intense, soulful sex requires prime concentration. Clue in to the sound of each other’s heartbeats and sighs.

While tantra is a kind of yoga in and of itself, your daily tantric practices can benefit immensely from implementing other forms of yoga as well. In my humble opinion, the best daily yoga practices are the Salutations. The Salute to the Sun (or the Sun Salutation) is performed in the morning, preferably at dawn. It focuses on movements that bend and stretch you vertically, arching and flexing the spine forward and backward. The Salute to the Moon is done in the evening before bed, or during a brief midnight waking time to help relieve the tension. It bends you from side you side and stretches your lateral edges.

There are many different variations of each which can be practiced with different levels of complexity with a simple set of moves or a more lengthy version (or two, or three) as well as mantras and meditations which can accompany each move. The way you choose to practice the Salutations will depend entirely on your goals and desire for the practice. Do you want yoga to improve your flexibility? Your stamina? Your concentration? Your singing voice? Your health and your mood?

As a tool for focusing and channeling energy, yoga can be incredibly powerful. Think about what you would like to learn by tuning in to the solar energies of the day and the lunar energies of the night.

The Sun

The sun, the ruler of the day, is often (but not always) associated with masculine energy in our ancient mythos. You feel the energy of the sun in your aptly named solar plexus. It is the energy of your will, your path in life, the road you walk. Starting your day with Sun Salutations can help you cement daily practice as an integral part of your life. Use this time in the morning to make a plan together for the day and decide on division of labor, chores, meals but also some sexy time together!

The Moon

The mistress of the night is typically associated with womanhood and femininity, based on her month-long cycle which matches that of a woman’s menstruation. The moon is associated with intuition, mystery, darkness, revelation and illumination. While the changes of the sun are seasonal and based on cycles which are noticed best over the long-term observations of the length of the days, the cycles of the moon can be seen changing every day as it waxes and wanes, goes dark and reappears again. The forces of the moon are thus more changeable. While our will and our goals are often long-term, the mysteries of life can appear – and disappear – quite suddenly.

Gratitude

One of the greatest opportunities you will be given during daily practice is to practice deep gratitude. What is it in your life that makes you feel truly grateful? Spend some time dwelling on this as you stretch your body in the morning when you first wake, and in the evening when you wake from your slumber long enough to enjoy your lover. Deep gratitude should be shared, so give to your lover all your love and grace, so you can be grateful together.

Salutations

Take your pick of sequences from the dozens of lessons available online. There are many videos free to watch or download, along with articles and further descriptions on the chakra associations, mantras, meditations and movements that can accompany the basic prayers to the sun and the moon.

What do you ask of the sun? Seek strength, stamina, drive and determination. Pray for guidance on the road of life and smooth passage during the day’s light. Ask that your seeds may be sown, sprout, grow strong and reap delicious fruits!

What do you ask of the moon? Go in search of mystery and devotion, love and emotion. Pray for connection to the divine and answers from the ancestors. Ask that you may be connected to nature, that your dreams bring you insight into the mysteries beyond the known universe and let it inspire your love life! Don’t go back to sleep without bringing your lover a little bit of mystery.

Tantra was once widely accepted as a science among healers and religious leaders in ancient times. The meaning of the word is complex and layered, having to do with “the science of cosmic principles” and often likened to the thread which is the weft in the weaving of life, the way to understanding and enlightenment.

Enlightenment sounds like a fancy word for “too much time on your hands” to those of us who work all day and struggle just to connect with each other on any meaningful level… but the power of enlightening experiences is that they teach us something new, allow us to see something that was once in the dark, walk a new path, embark on a new journey, and see new doors opening to us.

Anytime that you begin to feel horny, restless, jittery, on edge, or frustrated about your sex life… you have a choice to make:

• you can have sex
• you can be created
• you can do both!

Which do you choose?

Often, we decide that what we want is just the sex, but when it isn’t readily forthcoming and we aren’t sure how to engage our partner, we end up expending our energy being angry, fighting, getting frustrated, masturbating, working out, or engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Did you realize that simply by choosing one of the other two options, you can exponentially increase your chances of bringing on the Big O at the end of it all?

Whatever it is you choose to do with your creative energy, there is bound to be some way to make it sensual, to link it into your relationship and improve your intimacy!

Science

Think about what “traditionally” constitutes science, according to modern academics – chemistry, biology, physics. All three are deeply embedded in your day-to-day life! Chemistry can teach you about aphrodisia and the hormonal dance of foreplay. Biology takes you deeper into the body’s reproductive systems, the processes of sexual desire, and the ways you can tweak your lifestyle for great sex! The physics of sex puts you in the right position, and gives you the thrust and the leverage you need.

Craft

Can’t think of any kinky crafts? Oh the things you could do! Aside from the obvious – making your own sex toys, erotic accessories, massage oil, scented candles, delicious dinners and desserts – craft can be anything that you can put some elbow grease, blood and sweat into that pumps up your metabolism, your testosterone, and maybe even gets you and your lover closer together.

If your wife has a to-do list for you as long as your arm, think of these things as craft! Not only will fixing the toilet and cleaning of the gutters get your blood pumping, but you can bet it’ll get her going as well! Plumbing, carpentry, even being great at getting a few odd jobs done around the house can make you feel like a master craftsman!

Art

Maybe you already think of yourself as an artist (aren’t you lucky!) but if you are like most of the rest of us, you usually leave art for museum walls. Ah but art can be so much more! Art is inspired and inspiring, it speaks some truth about your life and shares it with another. The kind of art that’s good for your sex life is about sharing something erotic with your lover! What kind of art forms inspire you?

If your standard paints, pens, pencils, pastels or other mediums don’t spark your interest, try writing your lover a romantic poem or playing with some sexy body paints. Get creative and go for it! Use that creative force to make something beautiful and then go and make some love!