Are you the guy who loves to use sex toys with your partner in bed? Or, are you the guy who would really like to try sex toys with your sweetie but not sure how to go about it or bring up the subject? Do you know what to do with a sex toy when you have one? Or are you a sex toy geek? Where ever you are on this spectrum, one thing is certain: Sex toys, when used correctly really feel amazing!

Sex toys can do wonders to enhance a stagnant sex life.  Sex toys can take an already rockin’ sex life to the next level of pleasure and provide stimulation not possible by human touch alone. Whether you are bored with the same routine and want to shake things up or just adventurous and want to try it all, sex toys are an amazing way to add pleasure and excitement to your sexual repertoire!

Talking to Her About Using Sex Toys

Men often ask how they bring up the subject of sex toys with their girlfriends or wives. Just like any part of sex, it all starts with good communication. How you say something about changing things in the bedroom is as important as when you say it.  First, be sure to say something in a way that does not degrade or diminish the current sex like you have with her. Focus on the positive of what you do like. For example, “Honey, you make me feel so sexy and I love our time in bed together and I have been thinking about something I could do for you to give you more pleasure. What do you think about trying a sex toy?”  That is SO much better than, “I am bored stiff with our sex life and need something to change immediately or sex with you will be more trouble than it is worth.”

Be sure to pick the right time to address the topic too. After you make love and are basking in the afterglow might be a good time to hold her in your arms and tell her how wonderful the sex was and lovingly ask her if there is anything you can do to give her more pleasure. Then suggest a sex toy.  Whatever you do, don’t ask her when she is busy with work or the kids or distracted. You want her full attention.

Picking a Sex Toy

Choosing the right sex toy for you can be a challenge but it can also be a fun experience to see what is out there. It is something you can do alone to surprise your woman with your choices or you can shop as a couple. You can visit a sex toy store together which can be a hot experience in itself or you can shop the internet. There is even a home shopping channel just for sex toys.

The first thing you want to consider is your goal. Obviously the main goal is to increase sexual pleasure but how you do that offers many options. Do you want to stimulate the clitoris? The G-Spot? Do you want something that can be used on both of you or just her? Do you want to get a little kinky? There is no end to the possibilities. Once you identify your goal, then choosing the sex toy to meet it is easy.

I’ve Bought it. Now What do I do With It?

This is where is can be really hot. Knowing what to do with your purchase is very sexy. One example is if you buy the Hitachi Magic Wand, also known as the Cadillac of vibrators, Try sitting up against the headboard and having her lie back against your chest. Put the bulb of the wand on her clitoris and turn it on low. Lightly rub the vibrator all over her clitoris and gradually increase pressure. Then turn it up to high speed and do the same. Once she has reached a high level of arousal, take the bulb of the vibrator and press it hard on her clitoris and hold it there.

Another thing you can do with the Hitachi Magic Wand is to use any of the several attachments available. Try the curved G-Spot attachment. Insert the attachment into her vagina and turn it on then press the handle of the wand down which makes the end with the attachment go up. The curved tip hits the G-Spot and will make her have an intense orgasm.

Clean up Your Mess

It is very important to clean your sex toys properly. They should be washed in hot water with antibacterial soap and a little bleach. Allow them to air dry and store them out of the sun. They need to be washed after every use and before sharing them during sex. A helpful trick is to put a condom on toys that are inserted such as dildos and some vibrators. This helps keep them clean but they must still be washed after use.

We’ve talked quite a bit about the sex toys you can make at home, your basic beginner toys for getting started with different types of aided sex. But have you ever found yourself wondering what the future of sex toys holds?

Luxury

Toys that go above and beyond aren’t completely new, but the vast variety of luxury toys currently on the market speaks to the growing trend of treating sex toys like jewelery. If you’re going to spend your hard-earned cash on a new toy for your chest, make it the best!

There are dozens of different luxury toys on the market in different shapes, sizes and materials. Diamond studded? You got it! Gold plated? Why not! Pearl anal beads? Stirling silver spankers? Crystal canes? Horse mane tails? If you can dream it up, somebody else probably already has… so what’s your luxury?

The current leader in luxury toy sales is by far the Lelo company, with a variety of toys for men, women and couples. The next biggest expense in the toy market is by far the infamous “fucking machine” which comes in so many variations it would be impossible to cover them all here! In fact, you can even build one of your own! Who said luxury had to come at a high price?

Innovation

Sex toys for the new age are popping up all over the place! The Mojowijo is a pair of teledildonics devices which allow you to share your sex toy experience with someone else using the internet – in a different room or a different country. Mojowijo comes in both a “male” and “female” attachment for use by just about anyone.

The RealTouch company is pioneering the realm of teledildonics, having already launched the “for men” device designed to respond to signals from adult videos. Now they are releasing their latest device, a “for women” sensory dildo device which can transmit motion and pressure from vaginal penetration to the pocket pussy style device on the other end of the internet connection. Even better, they have just announced that the platform is now open source, creating an incredible opportunity for developers to come up with as many third party apps as they can think up!

My favorite new sex tech device by far is the Little Rooster, an adorable, sensual alarm clock designed to wake your wife up in the morning with a delightful buzz between her legs instead of that incessant beeping! It is the perfect gift for the woman who has everything and a great way to encourage some sexy, sensual time together first thing in the morning.

The Future

So what does the future of sex toys have in store for us? The possibilities are endless! Have you ever wanted to see what sex looks like from your partner’s perspective? Try out an autoerotic tele-presence device to turn things around. Want to keep in touch with your lover long distance? Hugging shirts or pillows will keep you close. Soon you may be able to use haptics devices to feel what it would be like to have sex with an extra pair of hands (and I don’t mean a threesome!) or in any kind of different body. How would you tweak your appearance if you could be anyone for your next sexual encounter?

The future of sex toys is all in the collaboration, the ability to integrate our sexual tech into our bodies and make them extensions of ourselves, the way we are slowly beginning to do with our cell phones and computers. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your toy could learn the specific combination of movements and vibrational frequencies that your lover responds to best, and replay them at just the right moment to bring her over the edge? What if you could have your own, in-house, virtual sex coach who could give you all of this amazing advice hands-on, as if they were right there beside you at each moment? The future is X-Rated!

What Now?

If you are really interested in the future of sex toys, start out by figuring out what’s on the market right now. There are several DIY devices that combine sex and tech quite elegantly and can be manipulated and improved upon through open source developing. If there is one thing girls love, it’s geeky guys! Get your geek on and start making the next big thing in teledildonics technology to share with your lover. If nothing else, it will give you something interesting to play with at the end of your next date. Try something new!

The Who, Why, Where, and When of Toy Shopping

Who buys sex toys? Just about everyone, from all demographics! Obviously a disposable income is an important part of sex toys, but I’ve known many couples in my experience who make sex toys part of their monthly or quarterly budget! There is nothing wrong, dirty, or shameful about sex toys. They are fun! Who says kids are the only ones who get to have toys to play with, right? Enjoy yourself while you still can, and get a few toys to help you along.

What sex toy should you buy? There is no perfect choice that everyone will love, so shop around, read reviews online, take a look at some toys in person if you can, and don’t give up on an entire “type” of toy if one doesn’t work for you.

Why buy sex toys? Why not?!? Some women find that they variability in stimulation that sex toys provide can greatly improve her frequency and/or quality of orgasmic experiences. This isn’t true of all women, of course, and doesn’t mean you will need to use sex toys every time you have sex, but they can be a great tool for mixing things up and enjoy a great variety of sex with your lover.

Where should you buy sex toys? This decision will greatly effect your experience. If you are lucky to live in a large enough area, it is likely that “feminist” or “luxury” sex toy stores exist in your areas. While the merchandise tends to be higher priced, it also tends toward higher quality and longer lasting materials. The staff is more likely to be knowledgeable and the environment comfortable. If you or your lover are wary about visiting the pornography/sex toy store common in some cities and small towns, the internet will save you! Unless it is illegal to buy sex toys in your country, there are thousands of sex toy retailers online…. including your very own Gabrielle Moore!

When should you buy a sex toy? Aside from the obvious (“when the store is open!”) you should purchase a sex toy, especially your first sex toy, together. Don’t use this as a chance to surprise your lover unless she has explicitly told you about a product that she wants and you feel comfortable knowing exactly what she desires. This is a process you should share.

Buying Your First Toy

Your first vibrator: there are different kinds of vibrators, depending on the motor, the power source, the shape and material. Start with something small like a bullet, but don’t give up on all vibes if your first one doesn’t work. Many women swear by the high-powered Hitachi Magic Wand, but not everyone will love it the same.

Your first dildo: think about when in her cycle your lover enjoys using a dildo – the closer to ovulation she enjoys using it, the bigger the dildo can generally be. Many women will enjoy different dildos throughout their cycle – a small one early/late on, a mid-size or larger one as they near ovulation, and perhaps a g-spot dildo for special occasions!

Your first anal toy: as a rule of thumb, start small. Use silicone or similar safe material, as it will also stay in easier when using a small toy than something slicker like latex or plastic. There are several small “beginner” anal sets which come with 2-4 different sized anal plugs, so you can start small and work up to something larger if it suits you.

Your first toy for you: if you have any intentions of sharing these toys (anal toys can be for boys too!) then be sure to get something you can sterilize, like medical grade silicone. Men may also enjoy masturbators like the Fleshlight and others. Don’t be shy! There is nothing wrong with masturbation – taking responsibility for your own pleasure is sexy!

Your first kinky toy: couples interested in kinky toys will find that there are lots of kits available for different kinds of mild BDSM or other sensation play. Exploring other kinks may require a bit of innovation, but be creative! There are thousands upon thousands of sexy opportunities available in online shopping carts around the world wide web. Find something that works for you, and enjoy!