“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.” – Joan Rivers

The fact that your partner is finding ways to satisfy herself is great – even if it sometimes requires a household appliance (what can I say, I’ve learned that women’s pleasure is quite tricky). But always using the same technique when she masturbates can prevent her for climaxing with you, if she gets accustomed to that specific type of pleasuring. I have the fix, so read on.

Julie has amazing orgasms. The catch? They’re with her vacuum cleaner. “One time, I was straddling it and noticed it felt good. The intense vibrations against my clitoris sent me over the edge and it has become the only way I can get off”, she says. Julie’s technique is unique, but experts say the fact that she can have an orgasm only one way isn’t that rare. Many women train their bodies to climax with a specific move and then have a hard time reaching orgasm when they can’t get those sensations from a guy. Since finishing with you is the ideal resolve to any sexy romp, I got tips on getting the same feelings when you’re having sex together.

1. What she needs… Grinding. Whether it’s rubbing against a piece of furniture or the palm of her hand, the reason women rely on this move is because of the allover friction it creates. The larger the area she stimulates (for example her whole down there region), the more nerves she arouses and the better chance she has at climaxing more powerful. In order for her to get the same type of sensation with you, make a tweak to the missionary position. Rather than lying between her knees, have her keep her legs closed and together as you enter her. The top of your shaft will rub against her clitoris, creating that same oh-my-gawd friction. You can also achieve this with a good and hard cunnilingus session. The catch: lick, suck and lightly bite her everywhere down there, don’t just focus on the clitoris or the labia. Start by creating large figures of eight with your tongue and move to licking every inch of her vaginal area: no exception. She’ll be moaning and climaxing in no time.

2. What she needs… Strong vibrations. Powerful tremors – like the kind created by a vibrator or, er, vacuum cleaner – are the number one sensation women get hooked on. The reason: her clitoris has feel-good nerve endings that fan out around the vagina. So even if she puts just the tip of the vibrator on one spot, the buzzing sends tingles throughout all the neural pathways. To mimic this during your sexual act together, you’ll have to bring a vibrator into bed with you. Pick a position that gives you easy access to her clitoris, like doggie-style. As you thrust, use a pocket rocket – the smaller it is, the less threatened you’ll be – on her hot spot. Not only will she get the same sensations she’s used to, but you will also be moving inside her –which makes for an even more passionate finish.

3. What she needs… Running water. Remember that scene in American Reunion where Alyson Hannigan’s character passes up sex for a solo session with her showerhead? That’s because it provides the perfect amount of pressure against a woman’s C-spot, while warm water boosts blood flow to her genitals. To re-create these elements together, you’ll need a bottle of warming lube. Add a dime-size amount to your penis, and have her climb on top, leaning forward as she moves up and down. She can control the pressure on her clitoris, just like she does in the tub. Plus, the lube increases blood flow in the same way and the fact that it gets warmer and warmer will resemble the feeling she gets from the hot water. The end result: a hot as hell finale.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you don’t know what kind of self-pleasuring she uses, ask her. In order for her to dare to fess up, tell her about your masturbation techniques.

“Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.” – Marilyn Monroe

To keep your sack sessions scorching, I came up with get-it-on venues you’ve probably never tried. Chances are, you’ve had your fair share of out-of-the-bedroom experiences – booty in the bathtub, getting it on in your card. But in the name of erotic exploration, I have come up with lusty locales you may have yet to discover. Incorporating a new venue into your routine can stimulate your sex life and keep it exciting, so add these original hot spots to your places “to do it” list… Just make sure no one’s looking.

A golf course. When on the green, take time-out for a… hole in one. Explore the outskirts of the course for a thunderstorm shelter. These shed-like structures are usually placed in remote areas and, unless it starts to pour, no one’s going near them. You may also want to have your girlfriend sport a cute little golf skirt to allow for easy access.

In front of the fridge. Kitchen carnal action may be nothing new to you, but the icebox might be uncharted territory. Open the door to the refrigerator and sit on the floor with your back against the cool shelves. Then have your partner straddle you. Not only will the cool air give you both a thrill (you’ll surely perk up!), but you can also incorporate food into your frisky play.

A rowboat. Turn an ordinary day by the lake into an erotic excursion. Rent a boat and row it out to a remote area free of people. Once there, get into missionary position – which allows you both to stay low and out of view – and try to make some waves.

The hood of your car. You can put a new spin on this classic hookup spot by getting out of the backseat. Spread a blanket on the hood and have an old-school romp under the stars.

A farmer’s field. Take a little inspiration from the movie Match Point and have sex in the tall grass you see by the side of the road when you’re taking a spin in the country. You’ll be hidden while you enjoy a roll in the hay.

A sleeping compartment on a train. If you’ve ever wanted to make out in a moving vehicle, a train is the way to go. You’ll have to pay a little extra to get your own berth, but you can use the private area as your exclusive passion playground. All aboard!

On a hike. To get it on in the great outdoors without having to lie down in the dirt, search for a big boulder you can hide behind so you’re not visible from the trail. With her back against the rock and her legs wrapped around your waist, you can enjoy stand-up nooky as well as the scenery.

An exercise bench. If your partner has a home gym, use it to work up a sweat. The bench is the right balance of firm and soft, plus it puts you in perfect alignment for girl-on-top sex. Lie down, then have her lower herself on top of you, using her legs to move up and down.

Have an interesting week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Make sure you don’t cross the line to having your passion play become risqué business. Always pay attention to being completely alone and undisturbed.

“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.” – Erma Bombeck

There’s so much advice out there about how to please your partner. But guess what? You don’t have to try nearly as hard as you think to turn a woman on. Everywhere you look, there’s a new list of tips on how to ‘Drive her wild’. The message they send? ‘Hey, boys, if you’d only try harder, she’ll like you more.’ But actually, most women I know are pretty simple and straightforward in their bedroom expectations. Are you a guy? Okay, good. You’re 99% of the way there. All that crazy advice is, well, crazy to a lot of women. Like these doozies.

1. Join her in her pre-work morning shower

A woman’s gut reaction: Oh, you mean the only 10 minutes of alone time I get all day?

Why it’s not that sexy: Sex in the shower can be a divisive issue. Taking it to her pre-work morning shower ups the ante. This might be the only time all day a woman isn’t dying for sex. As my friend D (yes, she goes by D) says, ‘There’s nothing like getting ready for work with a round of awkward shower sex. Unless you have a sit in there, shower sex is never as fun as it sounds. Who gets to stand under the water? And she can’t like it when you go down on her and there’s hot water blasting her in the face.’ Sure makes the climax kind of anticlimactic.

2. Strongly hint that you’re in the mood, then play hard to get and make her work at seducing you.

A woman’s gut reaction: Just what a girl wants when she gets home from work: more work.

Why it’s not that sexy: The chase is a game for those who’ve just met. When you’re in a new relationship, you’re so excited, you’ll try anything. I once spent three weeks eating at vegan restaurants just because a guy was cute (and vegan). Of course, I’d grab a cheeseburger afterward. But still, that’s working for it. One of the great perks of a long-term relationship is sure-thing sex. As my buddy Jenna puts it, ‘If you’ve been in the relationship for a while, this tip amounts to cruel and unusual punishment.’ We worked hard to catch you in the first place, so let’s just enjoy the fruits of our labor.

3. Make love in front of a mirror so you can see every erotic angle of each other’s bodies.

A woman’s gut reaction: It’s the non-erotic angles we’re afraid of.

Why it’s not that sexy: Maybe a woman in amazing shape wouldn’t dread this tip quite as much as most do. But even my athletic friend Brad, says, ‘I’m not crazy about it. It seems distracting.’ When you’re scrutinizing every bit of action unfolding in the mirror, you’ll likely see some seriously unsexy angles. Unless you’ve both discussed and agreed to it or it’s 1977 and a mirror is hanging on the ceiling above your waterbed, forget the whole reflection thing. It’s too hard to get lost in the moment when you’re watching what you’re butt looks like in every position.

4. Wear a shirt with a million little buttons and sloooly undo them while she watches. 

A woman’s gut reaction: Is it cool if I watch Grey’s Anatomy till you finish?

Why it’s not that sexy: This sounds more goofy than sexy. Sure, most girls enjoy the surprise of a striptease of some sort from their man, but there’s a reason strippers don’t wear shirts like that. Namely, there are a few things less hot than unbuttoning a million buttons. Girls like it when you take off your clothes, but it’s better if it doesn’t take half an inning to get to the main event.

5. Stick a silk scarf in her bag with a note that reads, “You’re going to need this later tonight.”

A woman’s gut reaction: Why, is it going to be cold out?

Why it’s not that sexy: Unless she’s (1) Stevie Nicks or (2) dating Steven Tyler, silk scarves have no place at sexy-time. The same goes for most supposedly sex props: red light bulbs, geisha costumes. It’s not the prop that counts; it’s you, up for fun, that’s the real exciting part. Most of women don’t know what make of silk scarves and all that stuff, and the last thing you want in bed is for her to be confused.

So here’s the thing. Women, like men, don’t require fancy moves or costumes to get turned on. We’re simple creatures with simple needs, just like you. We like gestures that show us you care, and we like it when you shows our presence is enough to make sure sex is great.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Also, buying her a super-pricey, super-vampy lingerie number is not on her hot and heavy to do list. It makes her think you want her to be another person altogether or that her body is not hot enough.

“Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex.” – Julian Barnes

The show’s over, but what about the encore, the things that you, willingly or not, do after you roll off of each other and call it a day. I reveal the worst post-sex faux pas and what you should actually be doing after giving each other the well-deserved orgasms. You don’t want to screw up right at the end, now do you?

There’s a moment after sex that I’ve named The Black Widow Spider. It is when the deed is done, everybody is exhausted and, out of the multiple options available to you, you pick the most off-putting things to do. You fall asleep before you even get the chance to look her in the eye lovingly and thankfully. You say things that aren’t meant to be said in such delicate moments. You turn around and grab the remote for some late night news, leaving her linger in the wet spot, all alone, counting the cracks on your walls. Sure, there aren’t any rules for hanging out post-coitus, but there are a few odd ones that can take a bite out of the mood and leave you both feeling awkward and disappointed. Here’s what you’re doing wrong (as harmless as these acts may seem, they hurt your partner’s feelings in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine) and what you should be doing instead.

1. Showering immediately. The person you’ve slept with has summoned the courage to be intimate with another human, she’s exposed her body and soul to you. By jumping out of bed and taking a shower, you’ve made her ask the worst question a person can ask themself: “Am… am I… stinky?” And you know how self-conscious women can get about these kinds of things. They want everything to be perfect. They shave, they put on perfume, the slather lotions all over their bodies and they can’t accept that all their efforts were actually in vain and that you weren’t left with the impression that they smell better than a field of roses. So stay in bed for a little while, at least half an hour, and then go to wash yourself.

2. Saying “thank you”. Pillow talk based on gratitude is tricky. Make your thanks too heartfelt and the girl may feel like she’s become some kind of sex charity (which might appear awesome for you, but doesn’t help her self-esteem much). Make it too specific and she might feel you were doing her a favor. Also, women are bound to question everything, so if you’re too eager to thank her for her “services”, she might start thinking there something else lurking behind your kind words. Insincerity, maybe? Just say that you felt great and that you hope she did too. There’s no need to extend praises too much, a woman’s sixth sense will pick on that in a heartbeat.

3. Leaving stuff at her place. It’s three days later and the phone rings. “Hey, did I leave my tie there? It should be on the bedside table. Can I come over and get it?” Inventing a reason to come over is straight out of high school. It’s obvious, it’s sneaky, and it’s way too tempting to reply with “No, let’s meet at a coffee shop and I’ll bring it to you”. If you’ve had sex once, let her decide if she wants a rerun, otherwise, you’ll put her in the awkward position of finding ways to say no to you.

4. Making comparisons. Few women really want to know about the other people you’ve been with. When it comes to sex, most of us don’t want to go to the Olympics, we just want a personal best. Comparing us is like holding up a scoreboard and making us wonder if we’ll get a medal – it’s strange to say the least, it’s alarming and can you imagine the sheer heartbreak of going home with the bronze?

Have a fun week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. If you want to say something nice post sex, stick to complimenting her looks, but don’t stare too much, she’ll start feeling uncomfortable once the arousal fades out.

“Women are always complaining about men’s fascination with breasts. But what if men were absolutely indifferent to breasts? What would women do then with these things that serve one function once or twice in a lifetime, and the rest of the time are just in the way?” – Jonathan Carroll

Her twins called, and they told me they’re feeling a little neglected. So I rounded up a bunch of super-sexy tricks just for them. If these don’t skyrocket her pleasure (and have you drowning in drool), I don’t know what will.

Tease her ta-tas

• At the end of a night out, walk up to her and brush your chest against her boobs very purposely.

• While she’s wearing a lace bra, graze your fingertips over the material. The texture of the lace is slightly rough, so when you touch her through it, they’ll perk up.

• Strip her naked from the waist up, but leave on that necklace of hers with a chain long enough to reach her breasts. Use the pendant to stroke her twins – the cool metal against her warm skin will feel so amazing.

• Give her a butterfly kiss… on her breasts. Bat your eyelashes against the supersensitive underside of her breasts. It will tickle, but in a really wonderful way.

• Trace her nipples with minty lip balm, and then blow on them. This creates a sexy, cooling sensation that’s sure to give her erotic shivers.

• For slow, delicious torture, twirl your tongue in circles around one of her breasts, gradually making the circles smaller and smaller. Stop right before you reach the center of her nipple.

• Blindfold her before you drizzle her chest with a warm liquid, like chocolate sauce. Not knowing when the substance will hit her skin builds anticipation, so when it finally does, it will feel more amazing than the usual.

• Squeeze her boobs together and slide your hand sideways between them. You’ll be thinking of what else you can wiggle into that snug little crevice, which is a total appetite-whetter.

Ultra-tantalizing touches

• The palm is the softest part of your hand. While she’s on top, lay your open hand over her nipples and rub in quick circles. The smoothness of your skin feels eyes-rolling-in-the-back-of-her-head incredible.

• Slip on a pair of her super-luxe cashmere gloves before running your hands over her bare breasts.

• In missionary, hold each nipple between your fingers and gently tug on them. It’s a sexy sensation and total eye candy for her.

• Trace figure eights along the sides of her breasts, right beneath the armpits. An extremely sensitive nerve is located there that you definitely want to activate.

• A tapping motion is a good way to switch up the type of touch you use. Tap the area around her nipples with your pointer finger. Use your knuckles gently to knead the tops, sides and undersides of her breasts.

• Place your hands on her boobs, press down on them firmly, and move them in really slow, tight circles.

• In the shower, squirt a creamy body wash over her girls and slather them up. I predict you’ll get her chest cleaner than it’s ever been in her whole life.

• It’s time to introduce her breasts to her favorite vibrator (how rude of her vagina to have hogged it all these years!).

• Keep her bra on before having sex, but pull down the straps to loosen up the fit. As you thrust in missionary, her breasts will be pushed out of the cups. The half-dressed look creates a sense of urgency, which is so friggin’ hot.

• If you two are going at it vigorously in doggie-style, reach up and place a palm so that her nipple is barely making contact with it – every time her breasts jiggles, she’ll get a sexy little nip massage.

Have a smoking hot week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. She’ll be so surprised and pleased you are dedicating so much attention to her breasts, rather than her down there region, that she’ll be more than eager to do the same to your body. What goes around, comes around!

“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.” – Aldous Huxley

On paper, so right. Between the sheets – not so much. Where did it all go wrong? Bad sex is one of life’s unfortunate realities. But when it’s your first time getting naked with a new girl, how do you give your hook-up some va-va-voom? I home in on the four most common sexual disasters and recommend simple ways to de-cringe them, so you can both have the sex that you deserve.

Uncomfortable – Drunken Disaster

While you were down at the pub, all those shots of tequila seemed like the best idea in the world, right? But once you’re home, somewhere between the sloppy kisses and eager hands, you realize this boozy hook-up is never going to be good for either part involved. Plus, that one tequila too many make you struggle harder than ever to get a rise of… you know, and your partner is giving signs of admitting defeat.

How to fix it: We all experience drunken fumbles at least once in our lives. In order to not store it under the “most embarrassing sex memory of my life”, all you have to do is relax into it. Make pleasure the goal, not the orgasm. Stop looking with blurry eyes for signs of ready-to-climax. Sometimes it’s nice to just fall into a snooze together. Or, if you’re feeling up to it, stop and watch a bit of comedy together (while drinking plenty of water to diffuse the booze) and then give it another shot.

Awkward – Let-down lover

You’re about to have sex with your new woman and after weeks of flirty banter, the anticipation is killing you. But she’s frustratingly timid in bed. She knows it wasn’t great and you both feel really disappointed. The silence is growing bigger and bigger and you don’t really know what you should be doing. Her eyes might well up in any second and all you can think of is getting dressed and going home to chill with a beer and forget all about it.

How to fix it: Don’t write her off after one try. It might just be the nerves getting the best of her. Nobody knows what to do right from the first go, especially since we’re all so different when it comes to the pleasures we take from sex and how our bodies are built. At first we all just try what we know worked with the person before and wish for the best. Explore her body in the way you would like to be touched and she’ll soon swiftly move on to your satisfaction.

Embarrassing – Try-too-hard tryst

Sex with someone new can be nerve racking, but in a bid to make it amazing you pull out all your moves – and she looks scared! Now you’re feeling about as sexy as the on socks on the bedroom floor. And, what’s even more baffling, you don’t know what you did wrong. After all, you tried your best routine and pulled out all the aces from both of your sleeves.

How to fix it: That’s precisely the problem. It’s like when you’re eating. You don’t need to have a taste at all the delicacies in the world in one go. You have to try them one at a time to fully enjoy the experience. Watch how she reacts when you initiate new positions. Does she look like you’ve just strangled a cute fluffy bunny or is she closing her eyes and moaning in delight? Thus you’ll see if she’s not comfortable and you can either step it down a notch or back off altogether and try something new. Sometimes it’s best to save your signature move for a later date.

Seriously!? – Prankster encounter

The lights are down low; the sexy tunes are on. But just as she starts to remove your underwear, the girl you’re with gives your penis a playful squeeze and lets out a “honk”. Mood (and your mojo) gone, and to top things off, given her attitude, you start to doubt she’s even eighteen. What is this girl doing!?

How to fix it: She could be covering up her anxiety and thinking that a bit of humor will liven things up, or maybe she’s inexperienced or her previous boyfriend was into it and she thinks all guys are. Get her in a serious mode by locking her gaze until it feels intense, and you both feel a connection. And take the lead as far as what you’re doing between the sheets is concerned. She’ll silently get the message and succumb to your method.

Have a splendid week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Whatever the situation you’re in, talking it off with an honest approach will always make things better for both parties involved. Sometimes it’s all just one big misunderstanding.

“Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment seeking-nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype – the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

In movies or erotic books, men are able to send their partners directly to O-town with just a couple of quick thrusts. That’s all well and good for the fictional characters, but for those of us who are real, flesh and blood people, orgasms aren’t always as easy. Whether you’re having less-than-satisfying sex with your partner or are frequently on the edge of giving her the maximum pleasure only to have her orgasm disappear faster than you can say „Ryan Gosling, you’re full of it”, many couples can relate to pleasuring issues.

Training your body to respond well sexually is a bit like training your body to be an athlete. We often don’t think about sex like that – we think that it’s something everyone can do and that it should be easy. But if you want to have and give great orgasms, you need to work at it.

That’s why I’m sending you to pleasure school – I guarantee you’ll like the homework and the end result is way better than any diploma!

Lesson #1

Practice makes perfect

Experts agree that masturbation is the first step to great orgasms. Practicing on herself is crucial. Once she can become orgasmic with herself, it’s going to be a lot easier for your partner to have an orgasm with you. This is partly because she discovers what works for her and can share that with you, and also because masturbation trains the body to get used to having orgasms. If she hasn’t had many orgasms before, learning how to give herself a clitoral orgasm is a great place to start.

Lesson #2

Share the self-love around

Don’t save the self-love for when you’re alone! Stimulating her clitoris while she is with you is essential because most women can’t climax just from penetration. Women often wonder, “Why can’t I come when he’s inside me?”, but the majority of women also require clitoral stimulation during sex, either with her hand, your hand or a vibrator. So don’t shy away, treat her with a considerable amount of fingering and she’ll be moaning like they do in the movies.

Lesson #3

Tone it up

The other orgasm homework you should both be doing? Pelvic floor exercises. A toned pelvic floor leads to great orgasms. The stronger those muscles are, the better the sex is going to be. Pelvic floor exercises aren’t just for older women or new mothers – all women should do pelvic floor exercises every day. And men as well, since it leads to lasting way longer in bed. Just squeeze and release the muscles you use when you’re trying to stop the flow or urine.

Lesson #4

Observe mindfulness

According to the experts, staying in the moment during sex is what takes the experience from so-so to “Oh! Oh!”. It’s important to get out of your head and into your body, especially in the case of women. To have a great orgasm she needs to let the mental chatter go, stop worrying about whether you’re having a good time or what her body looks like and just lose herself in the pleasure. Orgasm is not an outcome of pleasure and, while it might sound paradoxical, focusing on the pleasure rather than stressing about whether you’re going to have an orgasm is the best way to have one.

Lesson #5

Forget about faking it

Not only is she short-changing herself by faking it (if you think you’re onto a winning formula, you’ll keep dishing up the same moves, which is totally logical) but she’s also short-changing you. Men want to make their girl happy in bed. A lot of girls are afraid of telling guys what feels good, but you can help her do so with positive reinforcement and questions in order to know which touches go the right way. The focus of sex should be turning yourselves on; that’s how you’ll learn to seduce an orgasm out of yourselves!

Tonight’s homework

1. Learn the importance of “beforeplay” to set the scene prior to getting started on foreplay. Light candles, play music, read some erotic fiction – do whatever it takes to get you in the mood so that you’re both simmering with anticipation. If you rush into clitoral stimulation or penetration before she’s ready, it’ll take your partner a lot longer to orgasm or she might not get there at all.
2. Try to keep your breathing steady and breathe out through your mouth as the intensity increases. Being aware of your breathing also helps to keep you in the present and focused on what you’re feeling. Both of you.
3. Want extra course credit? Once you’ve got to O-town, practice learning how to achieve multiple orgasms. After you have gotten your partner to climax, try leaving your hand over her clitoris and start stimulating her gently, helping her be aware of all the subtle sensations she’s experiencing.

Have a seductive week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. Preparing her body for extra pleasure is way easier when you have a good hand, so don’t hesitate to make good use of it.

One of the most important things a man can do to guarantee his partner sexual pleasure is to know how to make the best use of his fingers. Good fingering techniques are an essential part of not only giving her sexual pleasure but getting her ready for even greater sexual pleasure. Also, it just plain feels good.

Fingering Has Its Purpose

The most obvious reason for fingering a woman is as a part of foreplay to give sexual pleasure. Believe me when I say being on the receiving end of a good fingering is an amazing sexual experience. Women can have intense orgasms from fingering.

However, another important purpose of fingering is to actually get a woman’s vagina ready to accommodate your penis. In order to have a penis it in, the vagina has to open up from its closed, un-aroused state and have sufficient lubrication or be wet. Fingering accomplishes both of these goals by enhancing arousal which makes the vagina open and elongate for a penis and become wetter as more lubrication is produced.

Why Use One When Two Are Available?

Most men start fingering a woman with just one finger. This may be necessary when working on the vagina since, as I said it needs to be opened up for sexual activity. However, once arousal starts you can make it take off like a rocket ship by using another finger. Insert two fingers into her vagina and push up to hit her G-Spot and watch her squirm with delight.

Remember you are not limited to one finger when it comes to the clitoris either. Here is where you can really surprise her with some serious pleasure. Most women are expecting just one finger to pay attention to their clitoris. When you start out using two you can double her pleasure. Take both of your fingers and rub her clitoris. Go in circles. Take her clitoris in between your fingers and move your fingers up and down in opposite directions.

In and Out and All Around

Do not underestimate the power of vaginal stimulation. Giving her the right kind of vaginal stimulation can make her beg to have you inside of her. When you insert your finger or fingers inside of her, try thinking of it like the hokey pokey. Put them in put them out and move them all about. You can simulate intercourse with your fingers. You can also insert your finger or fingers inside of her and them move them in a circular motion. These are just two examples of other ways to drive her wild with vaginal stimulation aside from going after the G-Spot.

Palms and Heels Can Make a Big Impression

One thing a lot of men don’t think about it how they can use their palms or the heels of their hands. Rubbing the palm against the clitoris and up and down the labia is intensely hot. Using the heel of your hand to rub the clitoris while your fingers are in her vagina can really put her over the orgasm edge. Fingering is actually about more than fingers. Use your whole hand to give her pleasure.

Two Hands Are Better Than One

You may think it takes someone of expert fingering level and experience to use both hands while fingering a woman but the truth is anyone can do it. In fact, there are so many pleasure spots in the female genital area using both hands is probably the hottest thing you can do. One amazingly hot thing to think about doing is to take one hand and use it to insert your finger or fingers into her vagina and then use your free hand to provide stimulation everywhere else at the same time. Use your free hand to stimulate her clitoris, rub her labia and anal area. If you want to really go for broke use your free hand and insert a finger into her anus while your other hand has its fingers in her vagina. Don’t forget about your thumb. It can be a very useful tool to stimulate her clitoris too.

Let Her Tell You How it is

Take your cues from your partner. Women use their bodies and their voices to express sexual pleasure even if they do not realize it. Pay attention. Does she moan in pleasure with certain stimulation? When you touch her in a certain way does she move and squirm and try to bring you in close or does she try to back away? These are all things to think about when assessing if you are giving her what she wants or not catching on.

For women, being fingered by a partner who knows what they are doing can be one of the most pleasurable parts of sex. While technically known as manual stimulation or digital penetration, fingering is about more than just sticking your finger in a vagina. Aside from oral sex, stimulating a woman with your fingers is one of the best ways to give her intense orgasms. It is a crucial part of foreplay as it helps get her physically and emotionally ready for intercourse.

However, for many men, it seems the female vulva is one big mystery. What are the different parts? What do they do and should I touch them? When it comes to fingering techniques, they are often all thumbs.

Men have no fear: the answers are here!

Here are some things to keep in mind to give your woman ultimate pleasure through fingering techniques that are never fail:

- First, get to know her lady parts. Men seem to know about the vagina, (although the G-Spot still has many mystified) and think they know a lot about the clitoris but there is more down there waiting for touch that makes them tremble.

- Fingering a woman is about more than sticking your finger or fingers in her vagina and just moving them around. You are not trying to dig your way to China and it is not a race.

- Women are more than their vagina’s and as such receive pleasure through more than having their vagina fingered. An awesome fact about a woman’s lady parts is that it feels good to have them ALL touched. Do you really want to impress your partner? Then go for more than her clitoris and vagina. Touch her whole vulva. Use your fingers to caress her labia gently and slowly to help her build her arousal.

- It’s not a taint on a woman. You know that area behind a guy’s testicles but before his anus? Often referred to as the “taint”? Most men love to have the taint touched. Women have an area between the vagina and anus too and men should get to know it because a lot of women get very hot when it is stroked.

- While you are back there, consider the back door. In all seriousness many women get off on anal stimulation. This is something that needs to be taken slowly. Use plenty of water based lubricant and never go from anus to vagina without washing your hands. The last thing you want to do is transfer bacteria that are in the anal area to the vagina. Instead of an orgasm you could leave your partner with a vaginal infection. In fact, for any type of fingering make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed. Jagged edges are not a vulva’s friend. For anal play it might be a good idea to start with a small finger like your pinky and take your cues from her about how deep, how fast or how intense to get.

- Pay attention to the clitoris. Women have mind blowing orgasms from the right kind of clitoral stimulation. Remember the clitoris is usually snug in its clitoral hood and as a woman becomes more aroused the hood pulls back much like a man’s foreskin. Also similar to the penis, when aroused, the clitoris becomes engorged with blood and erect making it very sensitive to touch. Try making circular, up and down and side to side motions with your finger. Use a dab of lube on your fingertip at first to help ensure things are smooth. Start slow and gradually get faster. Many men seem to think the clitoris is like a pencil eraser and use the “rub out” technique like they are trying to erase something on their finger. That just doesn’t do it.

- Go for the Gold. Of course the gold is the G-Spot. The holy grail of fingering. The elusive spot that when found usually means you have to peel a woman off the ceiling. Insert your finger in the vagina about 1/3 of the way up. Slowly move your finger like you are making a “come here” (no pun intended) gesture. As you do this, move your finger up higher in the vagina. The G-Spot is usually located between the top of the first 1/3 and 2/3 of the vagina on the “roof” of the vagina. She will be able to tell you when you hit it. Then it is just a matter of finding out how she likes her G-Spot to be touched. This calls for simple experimentation. The good news is that means lots of sexual activity. Try altering the amount of pressure and speed with which you make the “come here” gesture.

The thing you don’t want to do is just move your finger in and out of the vagina like a penis. Remember, women usually do not orgasm from intercourse so trying to reproduce it with our finger doesn’t really make an impact.

As with anything that has to do with sex, the key is communication. Ask your partner what feels good and take direction with an open mind. Follow these simple tips and soon your fingers will be doing the walking.

“Afterward she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin.”- Sara Gruen

Rest assured, robotically moving your hand up and down her body won’t get her ready for action. If you want to achieve sex god status, you have to truly master the way you touch her lady bits. According to the pros, the secret is knowing which areas of your sexual anatomy are similar to hers.

Biologically speaking, men and women start with the same parts in the womb- which means we’re built with many common tissues and numbers of nerve endings. So if you think of her erogenous zones like some of your own when you’re stimulating her, it’s easier to understand how she feels.

For each of her key down there hot spots, I pinpoint the male part you should link it to in your mind- because either they’re constructed similarly or they just happen to respond to touch in a similar way- and provide you with some awesome new moves to try.

1. Think of the outer curve of her breast… like your shaft

Consider how it feels when she gently caresses your shaft at the beginning of foreplay. She may not be making a beeline for the obvious pleasure gold mine that is rhythmic movements to your penis, but you’re still totally turned on, right? Same goes for her breasts: touch it lightly, avoiding the nipples, and you’ll build her anticipation, making her all revved up.
Next, step up the pressure. Like your shaft, there aren’t a ton of nerves in her breasts, so they can handle a firmer grip. A woman can also get frustrated when a man is too gentle with her. That said, you can definitely be firm- don’t be afraid to grab them in your palms and stroke them with passion.

2. Think of her nipples… like your testicles

You know when your testicles get bigger and darker when you’re turned on? So do a girl’s nipples. When a man is excited, his scrotal sac fills with blood and becomes more sensitive. Likewise, when a woman becomes aroused, her nipples enlarge because they are engorged with blood. Another way her nipples are like your boys? Most guys do not appreciate being manhandled down there. Just like you don’t want her to pinch your balls to the point of pain, she prefers softish touches on her nipples.
Try these:
• As you kiss her, cradle her nipples in your palm. No need to caress- your hand’s warmth is enough.
• Lightly massage her magic buttons using your thumb and forefinger.
• Rub the flat sides of your fingernails (not the edges!) against her nipples. They’re harder, smoother and cooler than your fingertips, so it feels different.
• When you are on top and feel like she’s on the verge of climaxing, reach out and gently pull her nipples. Stretching them like this exposes more nerve endings, making her orgasm more intense.

3. Think of her pubic mound… like the base of your penis

When you take a break from stroking her clitoris with your fingers and rub her pubic mound- the round, fleshy area just above her hot button- it’s a steamy treat. That’s mainly because blood rushes there when she’s turned on, but it’s also because it stimulates her clitoral hood- the fold of skin that surrounds and protects her clitoral glans. Since it’s less sensitive, it can handle both gentle squeezes that get her ready to go and the rougher sort once you’ve built the heat. Essentially, the pubic mound is a good place to add some variety to your repertoire. Try this trick: Make your fingertip into a firm point, and trail it around the mound. Since you usually focus on the top three quarters of her vaginal area, she’ll be surprised and aroused.

4. Think of her clitoris… like the head of your penis

Her clitoris is jam-packed with millions of nerve endings, as is the tip of your member. However, if the head of your penis can take a bit more pressure- the nerves are spread over a slightly larger area- her clitoris is more sensitive. This spot is filled with nerves, so it needs to be stimulated carefully. Tease the areas around it first, and then make your way to it, building up speed as you go. But finger with caution: if you spend too much time there or are too rough too soon, she may become overstimulated, and that can be really painful for her. To keep that from happening, switch up your tactics. Don’t stick with one for more than 10 seconds or so.

5. Think of her G-spot… like your perineum

All hail the sexy G-spot. It’s the small, spongy area located about 2 inches up the front wall of her vagina that gives her one of those super-deep, way intense orgasms. A guy’s perineum, the patch of skin between your anus and testicles, is a very similar producer of body rocking inner pleasure, since it has nerves that run straight to your prostate, which is known as the male G-spot. Treat her G-spot with these fingering moves:
• As you’re stroking her clitoris with one hand, reach down and insert one finger inside her vagina, massaging her G-spot with the pad of your thumb. Roll it from one side to the other, almost like you’re giving a fingerprint.
• Do the same trick as the one described above, but while giving her oral. It’s best to use this move if you’re ready for her to finish, since the combo of oral and G-spot contact is sure to speed things up.

Have a sexy week,

Gabrielle Moore

P.S. In order for your fingers to really work their magic, bring a friend: lube! It will feel just like oral sex, only better, cause you’re more spot-on with your fingers.