Hey, there lover! Welcome to your intro guide to Anal Play for Beginners—Rosebud of Love.
In my last article I talked about anal sex toys and how they are a good way to introduce your lover to anal sex. Today, I want to go a bit deeper (pun intended!) into the subject of anal play, and talk about anal foreplay, anal massage and the do’s and don’ts of anal sex. Because, if there is one thing I know about anal sex, if you do it right you will bring her to orgasm and she will want it again and again. But, if you do it wrong—that’s it, the booty party is OVER!
So, sweetheart, let’s learn how to do it right! Are ya with me? Great!
When trying anything new in the bedroom, you will want to talk about it out of the bedroom first. This is especially true with anal sex, because it has in the past been considered taboo, dirty and at one time was even against the law. Nowadays, however, many couples are getting more interested in anal sex as it becomes more mainstream, for it can be very pleasurable.
So, I encourage you to talk to your lover about your interest in trying anal sex with her, read my articles on anal sex together, so you are both better educated, and talk about any concerns, fears, or expectations you may have first.
Before you begin she will want to use the bathroom and eliminate any waste. Next, and nice bath or shower either alone or together and washing the anal area very well will give you both confidence that there won’t be any accidents during anal play. This also helps to relax her, which is essential to anal play. And, a sexy bath or shower together is a great start on foreplay.
Next, make sure to have latex gloves or finger cots on hand. Also, any anal toys you’d like to play with and lots and lots of lubricant as well as massage oil. You may also want to place a big comfy towel on the bed, just in case there is any discharge during sex. Also, having sex wipes nearby may come in handy as well.
As with any type of lovemaking, we start with foreplay. That means all over the body foreplay and not just in the area of interest. The more your lover is turned on, the more she will relax and enjoy anal sex.
Rosebud of Love Massage
The anus is extremely sensitive and has a rich supply of blood vessels and nerves, which are involved with sexual arousal. As erotic energy escalates, the anus also becomes aroused. When we reach orgasm and our muscles go into contractions, the anus opens and closes and twitches in sync as well. How cool is that?!
The Rosebud of Love Massage is an anal foreplay technique that is designed to get her in the mood for anal sex or any type of sex. It can also be very enjoyable all on its own and lead to orgasm.
1. Make sure you lover is lying comfortably on her tummy. She may want to place a pillow under her pelvis to prop her butt up in the air and give you better access.
2. Begin by pouring massage oil on your hands to warm it up and give her a slow back rub from shoulder to hips in long slow sweeps down her back. Do this a few times until she relaxes.
3. Next, pour more massage oil and rub her buttocks in big circles and then begin kneading them like bread. Do this gently adding more pressure as she likes it.
4. If she likes it you can gently smack her cheeks and alternate this with more kneading.
5. Pour warmed massage oil in the crevasse between her cheeks as you spread them apart with your hands. Softly rub the sides of your hands up and down between the cheeks as she opens to you exposing her rosebud, or anus pucker.
6. Next, wipe your hands on a towel and slip on gloves or finger cots. Rub the pad of your finger around the anal pucker, exploring the sensitive rosebud of love.
7. Allow her to relax fully and lube your finger up with a good anal lubricant (thick water-based or silicone). Apply gentle pressure to the anus, but don’t push in. Simply apply firm but gentle pressure and continue to stroke her rosebud in small circles.
8. Allow the rosebud to pucker over your finger and slowly press inward until the first knuckle. Take your time and remind her to breath. Once inside, don’t move, just allow her to get used to the sensation.
9. As she relaxes, continuing to breath, twist your finger back and forth, pressing gently into the sphincter and walls of the anus to loosen it up. This will help her relax more and turn her on.
10. Once the anus is adequately stretched, you can slide your fingers in and out simulating intercourse. Let her determine the speed and depth of penetration.
Now she is warmed up for anal sex, or other sorts of erotic pleasures. For some women, rosebud massage can lead to orgasm. Other women may need other types of stimulation as well including clitoral or G-spot with the aid of toys, or your penis or fingers.
Anal Do’s and Don’ts
- Anal Do’s
- Have a bowel movement beforehand.
- Have a bath and get clean.
- Use a condom, finger cots or latex gloves to avoid infections and transmitting STDs during anal sex and anal play.
- Trim nails of rough edges.
- Relax, breath and take it slow.
- Use lots of lube. I mean lots.
- Stop if there is pain.
- Communicate with your partner.
- Allow her to be in control of the speed and depth of penetration.
- Hurry or force it.
- Pressure your partner into it if they are not ready.
- Never go from the anus to the vagina as the anus contains a lot of bacteria which can cause yeast infections and interrupt the natural flora of a woman’s body chemistry. Always change your gloves or condom or wash your toy and disinfect.
And, don’t forget! Communication is the key to any good sexual experience. Talk about your experience before, during and afterwards to make sure you set up limits and guidelines as well as get feedback on what worked and what didn’t. Doing it right the first time, means you will get a chance to do it again.
Play safe and have fun!