Hey big boy,
There is one thing that you have been dying to do with your partner. You may have tried it before. Maybe you tried it a few times and it didn’t go very well. Maybe you didn’t get very far or she didn’t like it. Maybe you never even got to try. I’m talking about one of the most taboo types of sex out there: anal sex. Some women are curious, some are a little grossed out, and a lot of them are scared of it.
Why are women scared to try anal sex? There are three major reasons: 1st reason) They know anal sex hurts. What do women say when they talk about it? OUCH! Word gets around from woman to woman that anal sex isn’t pleasurable, it’s painful! 2nd reason) It’s wrong. A lot of people are embarrassed to talk about sex in general, but anal sex is a very taboo subject for most people. Even if a woman is curious, she might be too embarrassed to admit it, for fear of being judged (even by you!). 3rd reason) It’s dirty. Your partner might already be self conscious about certain parts of her body or sexuality, but when you add the anal sex element, something that is considered “dirty” by many, it can make a woman completely reject the idea.
If a lot of women believe these 3 reasons, how is anyone having anal sex at all? Are these 3 things really true? 1) Anal sex CAN be painful if it’s done wrong, but it doesn’t have to hurt. Knowing what you’re doing will seriously minimize the chances that anal sex will hurt. 2) You might not be able to convince your partner that anal sex is okay, but there are a lot of women who are interested in trying anal because the idea of doing something taboo in the bedroom is a big turn on for them. 3) There are ways to make anal sex more “clean.” You also have to be okay with it being a little dirty. If you go into expecting the obvious, then you won’t be grossed out or surprised if anal sex involves some like sexy elements.
So, how do you gain rear entry access? Follow these 8 steps to having anal sex tonight:
1. Talk about it – I know, I know… it’s awkward, but you can’t surprise your partner with anal sex. It’s something that you should really have discussed beforehand. You can also address any of the above concerns with your partner during this talk. Make sure your partner knows how much you love your current sex life, but that anal sex would just be another fun element to add to the mix. Be open and listen to her concerns. She needs to be on board and want to do this in order for her to relax enough to enjoy it.
2. Don’t do it under the influence – When trying something new in bed, some couples think it will help to have a drink or two to loosen up, but that is actually not a good idea. You want to be totally alert and sensitive to her needs and mood, so having a drink will actually dull your ability to be attentive to her. She might feel more open to it after a drink or two, but the next morning she might feel regretful and upset if she doesn’t choose to try anal with a totally clear head.
3. Get clean before getting dirty – Take a bath or a shower together before having anal sex. This is a great way to get each other in the mood, while also addressing the third concern above. Washing each other can be extremely erotic and an amazing form of foreplay. Bathing together can also be really relaxing, which is great because she will need to be relaxed in order to have a good experience.
4. Get the green light – Even if you have had the talk about anal and she’s up for trying it, make sure she has clearly given you permission before starting so there are no upsetting misunderstandings.
5. LUBE – A great quality lube is very important to having good anal sex. Use a lot. On your partner, on yourself, and don’t be afraid to reapply as often as needed. Try a great silicone based lube.
6. Relax – When a woman is nervous, her anus will clamp shut and this will make anal sex a lot harder and a lot more painful. Help her to relax in anyway you can. Let her know that she is in control and you will stop or slow down at any point if she tells you to.
7. Go VERY slowly – One great way to help her relax is to go VERY, VERY slowly. Start by playing with the area with your fingers. You can finger her very gently and shallowly with a lubed up finger. When you are finally ready to upgrade, go SLOWLY! I can’t stress this enough. You might even penetrate her a tiny bit and then stop completely and let her get used to the feeling. Have her breath and relax. You should feel her anus relax and open up around your penis if she has truly relaxed. Then you can slowly continue. Thrust very slowly and shallowly at first, until she gives you the green light to go deeper.
8. Reach around – Finally, don’t forget about her pleasure. This will be a very new sensation if she has never tried anal before. Reaching around and stimulating her clit at the same time will give her a powerful orgasm pretty quickly! And that will make her more likely to want to do it again.