“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” – Henry Miller
When looking for advice, sometimes you just want it snappy and spot on. Some sex questions are so personal that you might very well not find the answers in typical articles of the sort. That’s why, this week, I decided to answer some of your… more personal dilemmas regarding sex. Here, I deliver the dirty details fast and furiously.
- “Should I give her oral before we start having sex, or will she peak too quickly?” Actually, you want to give her oral until she peaks, then give her a couple of minutes to brush the fever off and start having sex properly. Women can stand (and want!) multiple orgasms. So don’t worry about her peaking and them letting you hang dry. It’s like with chocolates. Who wants to stop after just one delicious bite? Not us!
- “Do girls like it when their legs are straight up in the air during sex?” There’s no… straight answer. Some love it, because of the depth of the penetration, some not so much, because of the same reason. If she’s more sensitive to depth, you shouldn’t linger too much on that position. Just read the signs on her face. If she’s moaning in delight, keep at it, if she turns her face away to hide a pain feeling, switch up.
- “How can I initiate getting her to go down on me?” If you’re bold, when she’s kissing you, whisper “I’d love to have you do that elsewhere”. She’ll catch your drift. If you’re rather on the shy side, go down on her first, she’ll be more than happy to return the favor afterwards. Women are polite like that.
- “How do we deal with the condom and keep the mood?” Have her do it instead of you. If you do it, you just want to speed up the process and have it done and over with as soon as possible. If she does it, she’ll be more patient and more careful. You’ll both enjoy the slowness of it, trust me. Especially is she uses her mouth as well.
- “Is there a good way to switch position while remaining inside her?” Yes. Slowly. Slower than slowly. With passion. While you’re turning away the focus from the process of switching to the one of kissing like the French do.
- “What can I use to tie her up?” Her tights. A scarf. Your tie. Her lacy, sexy, black G-string. There’s a lot of bondage gear in your closet. You don’t need to buy a “professional” set unless you want to take things to a higher level.
- “What’s the easiest way to 69?” Lie side by side. It’s more comfortable and neither is in the “ungrateful” position of being up, which usually leads to a tenser body, which actually spoils half of the fun.
- “What’s a hot thing to do after sex?” A sensual massage. Start by scratching her scalp lightly with your nails and caressing her hair. Who knows, maybe it will lead to a second round?
- “What do I do when I need a break from giving her oral?” Don’t stop all the way you’re your work down there! It will leave her frustrated. Use your hand to fondle her and use your lips on her nipples or belly. This way you can rest your jaw while still getting her hot and bothered.
- “Should I try to control how loud I moan?” Would you want her to do the same? Of course not! So go ahead and use your vocals as loud as you feel like it. Women love manly vociferations as well.
- “She has a small clitoris. Is it less likely she’ll orgasm?” Not a chance. It’s not a matter of size, but of what underneath. And trust me, she’s got millions of pleasure nerve endings throughout her entire vaginal area. She’ll orgasm if you know what to do. Which is, touch her in different areas down there, not just on the clitoris.
- “How should I wake her up for sex?” Kiss her neck and work your way down her body. But do it slowly. You want her to wake up gradually, not all of a sudden. You might risk scaring her.
- “What’s the best position in a small space?” Spooning with bent legs. Lie on your sides, you behind. She should push her butt towards you as you enter her.
- “Are blue balls a real condition?” It’s just slang for fluid build-up in the glands near your scrotum due to arousal. But the area doesn’t actually turn blue, mind you. And no, it’s also not true that your balls will turn blue if you’ve not had sex in a longer period of time.
- “Can you get an infection from having sex in a Jacuzzi?” Regretfully, yes. You’d better not risk it. And not only you, but especially your female partner. Her areas are more exposed to the bubbly water and more prone to developing nasty infections.
- “What’s a good quickie spot?” There are more than one, thank heavens. Over the kitchen table, facing the front door or a wall, in the shower, leaning against the washing machine. Have your pick.
- “I have a hot sex life but I still masturbate daily. Is that weird?” Not at all. Having regular sex boosts your drive. Consequently, you’re more passionate during intercourse and your orgasms are stronger. And your sperm is healthier.
- “Why does her whole body shake post-orgasm?” No, it’s not a sign of epilepsy. It’s called the orgasmic shudder and can happen to anyone following intense pleasure.
- “Is there a good substitute for lube emergencies?” Yes, and it’s called saliva. Don’t try her creamy lotions or soap or shower gel. You’ll both risk getting burns or even infections.
- “We want to try role-playing. Where do we start?” Try meeting at a bar as strangers, pretending you’ve just met or reenact the moment you’ve first met. It will bring back good memories and it will help you take the edge off.
P.S. If you have questions that concern your partner in particular, shake the shy away and ask her what you need to know. You’ll both rip the benefits.